Period- what your DP do this?

[Leder]

It's the first day of my period and I'm in a fair bit of pain. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and just fancy a sparkling lemon flavoured water from Tesco. Asked DP 10 mins ago if he would go get me one and he categorically said no. I know it's late but aibu to ask. I am on the verge of tears and just would love a "treat"

I think it's unreasonable of you to ask him to go out late at night to get you a soft drink. If you had D&V and were dehydrated, fair enough. But periods come every month, are you expecting him to pander to you every month?

I think you need to be better prepared, get your favourite drink in advance etc.

Saying you want a 'treat' sounds childish, grown ups get their own treats!

Yes he would, and I’d absolutely ask. I do it for him when he’s feeling down/sick, as well. We enjoy showing each other our love through these gestures, but everyone has a different love language and it may not be the case for all. I hope you feel better, OP.

He would, I wouldn’t ask for water though. Painkillers yes, if needed.

Yes he would but I'd be asking for chocolate,

Not sure why people think it's so unreasonable to do something nice for your loved one, I'd absolutely pop to the shops if he wasn't very well and needed something admittedly not sure I'd get out my pjs for water though.

Where has the op said she has endometriosis?

People keep saying "I know how bad endometriosis can be" and I haven't seen op say she has it. It's not something that can be diagnosed without a laparoscopy.

Mine would go for pain relief but not for flavoured water. Likewise if he had back pain I would go for pain relief but not for a Diet Coke for him.

Painkillers yes, flavoured water not a chance.

Anyways, your partner should have gone. It was a small thing. My DH would not only have gone but he would bring me back a crate of lemon water if wanted it. Because he loves me and if he could make me feel better when in pain, he would.

I don’t think anyone who’s partner wouldn’t go loves them any less. Pandering to your partners every desire isn’t the basis of every healthy adult relationship. It might be the basis of some (although it sounds like enabling needy behaviour to me) but it certainly isn’t for everyone.

No.

@ohectoplasmonit she has said she's got endometriosis, earlier in the thread.

Yes

why did he say no then? If it's normal for you both to do things like this?

Op if you're craving drinks coukdyou be dehydrated? With endometriosis you can quickly lose a lot of blood. You may also be craving the sugar in the lemonade.

@starfishsandwich The Op asked for some flavoured water whilst in pain. I don't see how this could mean the DH would be 'pandering to her every desire'. Also if you have never had times of feeling needy in life, you are very lucky! For some women, periods make them feel insecure, needy and yes, a bit pathetic! Unless the OP constantly expects her DH to 'pander to her every desire' I can't see what the big deal was about getting her some water when feeling sore and down.

People keep saying "I know how bad endometriosis can be" and I haven't seen op say she has it. It's not something that can be diagnosed without a laparoscopy.

She said this further down, not in the opening post which she should have. It's like the difference between having a headache and a migraine. Some people vomit from having horrific period pain.

As someone who has endo, and yes diagnosed with a laparoscopy, and I had a chemical menopause in my late 20s to try to stop the fucking daily pain, YANBU to ask for something to make you feel better.

My Dh will bring me my favourite chocolate when he knows I am about to start my periods. My children bring me cups of tea (they are secondary school aged boys.)

@Leder, try a TENs machine, it does help. I started on a Lloyds pharmacy one which was 1 pad but you could only have it on for 20 minutes twice a day. It was enough time for the meds to kick in.

Now I have bought a 4 pad version off Amazon and will be trying that out this month. I can use it for much longer than the 20 minutes and more often.

@CollyWombles San Pellegrino is full of sugar, it's not lemon water it's lemonade, if OP was dehydrated she'd be much better off with water, which she has in the taps in her house.

I've actually asked DH this morning if he'd go and get me San Pellegrino if I had period pains (he knows how badly I get them, blood loss etc). After some confusion about why I was on my period (I'm pregnant) and that we had some in the fridge, he said of course he would, but that still doesn't mean i would ask when it's something so unnecessary.

Mine definitely would, although I probably wouldn’t ask when it’s late/cold.

Ah OK. I agree definitely needed to be in the op. I have stage 4 endometriosis and adenomyosis and I don't even refer to it as period pain, just endo pain, because it's just miles apart.
Maybe try some cbd oil, Ive seen in the US they have cbd oil bath bombs!

No. I wouldn’t ask though.

How hard is it to keep a can in the fridge?.

I’m single (through choice). I’d make a hot water bottle and feel sorry for myself.

My ex would have, but he would have done it in his own merry time - keeping me waiting to do it when IT SUITED HIM and I'd have to be ever so grateful. Needless to say I learnt to sort myself out and now I'm on my own I do just that, but without the resentment. All good.

I guess that should be one of my measures in any new partners I might have.

My OH wouldn't have. He would if it was to get some painkillers or sanpro, but not just for a fizzy drink.

No, I wouldn't ask him though and he wouldn't ask me unless it was for medication or something else that cannot wait for morning.