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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think 85 on a dual carriage way is to fast?

166 replies

Thisnamechanger · 28/10/2018 19:21

That really. DP always seems to have to be the fastest bastard on the road. It scares the shit out of me to the extent where I have anxiety attacks on certain routes. I can't drive and the only other people I've spent much time on DCs and Motorways are DBro and DF who are both the same if not worse. Is this normal? I have lost a friend in a RTA so appreciate I may be oversensitive.

OP posts:
Limensoda · 29/10/2018 17:12

People who speed like that and defend it claiming they know what they are doing and are good drivers are complete selfish tossers.
People who do it with no regard for a nervous passenger are even worse.

cardibach · 29/10/2018 17:18

The +10% thing is advisory. Chief constables have discretion in their region. Many abandon them and will prosecute for any speed over the limit.
Why does anyone need to go over the limit? Why are you so important? Whether it’s notionally safe or not is irrelevant.

MaxTeyon · 29/10/2018 17:30

please feel free to tell this person that his statement is bollocks. It is

Damn, there was I thinking a hugely qualified traffic Chief Inspector knew his stuff. I GUARANTEE he knows more about road safety than you ever will. It goes without saying that he’s the quickest, smoothest driver I’ve ever had the privilege of passengering and naturally I’m his favourite student.

Mishappening · 29/10/2018 17:42

Your guarantee means absolutely nothing. If he does this, he is breaking the law and should receive due punishment and be sacked. If he encourages others to do it, he is irresponsible in the extreme and should be sacked.

If only I had a £ for every time a patient or the driver of a crashed car said "If only I had not driven so fast" I would be very rich. Road accidents are messy; wrecked lives are messy.

The speed limits are for EVERYONE. They are there for a reason.

thenightsky · 29/10/2018 17:52

I did a speed awareness course, and they said you could do it again if it was more than 3 years since you previously had

I did one in 2016 and was told it was now 5 years. And if you get caught again within that 5 years you get six points, not three.

siakcaci · 29/10/2018 18:12

Lol max

Your desperation to be correct has clouded your judgement me thinks.

VenusInSpurs · 29/10/2018 18:14

The A11 from the junction with the M11 to almost Six Mile Bottom is often extremely empty and has a good surface.

I get passed there by people doing 90 /100mph regularly.

There's something about the transition from the lorries and hills of the M11 that invites speed on that road.

I am just giving it as an example.

Mishappening · 29/10/2018 18:24

I a always being passed by people breaking the speed limit. Unbeknownst to me (but informed at a a party!) he used to use me as a decoy in the mornings when he was on traffic duty. If someone overtook me, he knew they would be speeding.

This is so serious - until people understand that no-one is above the law we will all be at greater risk on the roads.

I am intrigued to know what those who advocate speeding think that the limits are there for - just to annoy you?

bungaloid · 29/10/2018 18:31

I can't get too worked up about someone going over 70 on a dual carriageway or motorway, providing they are otherwise driving sensibly (e.g. considerate of other drivers, good conditions, sensible gaps, well maintained car). I get much more aggravated by excessive speed in residential areas (like 50 in a 30).

ForalltheSaints · 29/10/2018 18:41

Anyone doing 85 cannot have the excuse of a poorly functioning speedometer. They should be banned for a long time, as should anyone who excessively speeds anywhere.

The OP should refuse to travel with anyone who is as reckless. Presumably her DP is insecure about the size of his manhood.

Thisnamechanger · 29/10/2018 20:11

Presumably her DP is insecure about the size of his manhood

Oh shut up Hmm

OP posts:
Ihaventgottimeforthis · 29/10/2018 21:37

Come ON.
Driving fast is really fun, if you have a good car and you enjoy driving and are confident.
It's irresponsible & silly to do it, especially if you have a passenger asking you to stop, for so many reasons listed above, but it is addictive.

OP, I would let him drive and say I'll meet you at the train station/Newquay as I don't feel safe travelling with you in the car. Then stay out of the car until he gets the message. Then get him a rally experience. Or a driving holiday in Germany.

Glasgowbound · 29/10/2018 21:53

OP are you actually going to do anything about this? I would find this disregard both for other people and his own girlfriend a giant turn off. Clearly not a deal breaker for you though

Mishappening · 29/10/2018 21:56

Driving fast is really fun - sigh. Cars are not toys.

Taking the train is a good idea. Or driving yourself in your own car. You are not obliged to be in the car with someone who drives over the speed limit.

Thisnamechanger · 29/10/2018 22:02

I can't drive myself, I'm a really nervous driver and stopped lessons because of it. I didn't feel safe in charge of a car because I panic.

I've told him how big a deal this is to me and he took it seriously and said he is sorry and didn't realize I felt so strongly. He's said he's going to slow down in future and when he makes a promise he keeps it. I have slightly mixed feelings. He's pretty good at keeping promises generally but 30+ years of driving habits will be hard to overcome. I've no doubt he will slow right down when I'm in the car from now on but I guess I'll never know what he does when I'm not there.

OP posts:
Glasgowbound · 29/10/2018 22:05

There is a chance that getting used to driving more carefully/legally when you’re in the car will influence his behaviour overall. A small chance, but a chance nonetheless.

Thisnamechanger · 29/10/2018 22:08

It's a bit manipulative maybe but next time his driving scares me instead of keeping it all in in I might just actually cry etc. so he realises what's going on internally. He really does love me lots so I do believe he'll try. I hope he can change.

OP posts:
bumblingbovine49 · 29/10/2018 22:15

85mph on a dual carriageway (where I assume the national speed limit applies) is going 15mph over the speed limit so of course it is too fast.

On the other hand, it is not an unusual speed for quite a lot of people on dual carriageways and it is INCREDIBLY annoying to have your driving criticised by someone who can't drive themselves so I can see both side tbh.

DH and I sometimes point out the speed limit to the other one if we think the other one is going too much above it and has maybe missed a speed limit sign. Both of us are definitely trying to keep to the speed.limit more so we are just helping each other out. If we didn't have this agreement though, I wouldn't dream of telling a driver to slow down unless they were really speeding (as in 20mph+ over the speed limit)

doistayordoigo · 29/10/2018 22:34

So much misinformation...just to clarify, you can only attend one speed awareness course in a 3 year period, however there are different courses, eg speed awareness, motorway awareness and those for red light offences etc. You are able to attend one of each within a 3 year period. These are only given for the lower speed/less serious offences. There is then the penalties for higher speeds, which is generally 3 points and £100 fine...if you rack up 12 points then you will lose your licence. For very high speeds you will be taken straight to court, where it is at the discretion of the magistrates what penalty they give you, but obviously this is generally more than 3 points and £100 fine.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 29/10/2018 22:48

Mishappening cars are kind of toys though, and driving is fun.

But there's a time and a place for driving fast, and it's not on a public road.

Thisnamechanger · 29/10/2018 22:58

I wouldn't dream of telling a driver to slow down unless they were really speeding (as in 20mph+ over the speed limit)

Well I can't help it. On dual carriageways with bends it scares the shit out of me.

OP posts:
Glasgowbound · 29/10/2018 23:00

Bumblingbovine so there's a definition of "really" speeding now is there? Utter twattery.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 29/10/2018 23:22

Despite having lost close family members in a head on collision when a speeding driver lost control on a bend, I don’t necessarily think 85 mph on a good road, in good conditions is necessarily dangerous. Although it is illegal.

It requires competent driving though, which includes watching for hazards. If the OP’s DP has been caught twice by speed cameras and also been stopped by the police, he doesn’t sound like he is aware of what is going on around him and I wouldn’t be getting in the passenger seat with such a crap driver.

Greywind1523 · 30/10/2018 07:28

Generally speaking I don’t think 10-15mph above on a dual carriageway with appropriate road conditions is excessive. Some are just like a motorway to drive on and the government are still proposing an increase to 80mph on motorways.

I don’t know how many have notices that there has been an increase from 50-50mph through some roadworks to try and ease congestion? This would indicate that an extra 10mph above what has been the law in the past doesn’t suddenly represent some massive safety risk. If the 80mph increase comes in how many of you that say 1mph above is a danger will increase their speed? This is actually the reason it hasn’t been implemented yet - the significant task of trying to overturn a collective consciousness about 70mph.

I know some will say that this is irrelevant and not representative but I used to socialise with a group of traffic cops and they confirmed that they would never stop anyone doing 80mph (stats indicate that around half of UK drivers drive at 80) on a motorway (unless there was reckless driving).

I do however accept that there are a lot of dual carriageways where that kind of speed isn’t suitable (bends, short sliproads, congestion) and it becomes a problem when someone doesn’t drive to the conditions, or as in this situation doesn’t have regard to their passengers

siakcaci · 30/10/2018 07:45

The fact that it has been proposed so many times over the years but never been approved would suggest that actually, the national speed limit won't be getting raised any time soon.

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