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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 85 on a dual carriage way is to fast?

166 replies

Thisnamechanger · 28/10/2018 19:21

That really. DP always seems to have to be the fastest bastard on the road. It scares the shit out of me to the extent where I have anxiety attacks on certain routes. I can't drive and the only other people I've spent much time on DCs and Motorways are DBro and DF who are both the same if not worse. Is this normal? I have lost a friend in a RTA so appreciate I may be oversensitive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 28/10/2018 20:25

My bloody DF and DBro are just as bad. When he told them about nearly getting banned and they asked how fast he was going they made impressed noises. I was fucking furious when he told me! I don't understand it.

OP posts:
bourbonbiccy · 28/10/2018 20:25

He is breaking the speed limit yes, wether it's safe or not is dependant on the conditions of the scenario and how capable a driver your DH is
Unfortunately it may take him loosing his licence to slow him down a bit.
Why don't you pass your test so you can drive yourself to at least eliminate the anxiety some of the time.

Glasgowbound · 28/10/2018 20:26

12 points within three years is a ban I believe.

Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 28/10/2018 20:29

Why don't you pass your test so you can drive yourself to at least eliminate the anxiety some of the time.

I am trying to work up the courage to try and learn again. Even if I can pass I don't know if four hour journeys along Motorways will be realistic in the near future.

OP posts:
VenusInSpurs · 28/10/2018 20:38

A dual carriageway is a road with a central reservation separating traffic travelling in opposite directions. It may or may not involve a grass verge. Dual carriageways can have one lane, usually two, or even three.

The national speed limit in a dual cariageway is 70mph unless any other restriction is in place.

Some dual carriageways are better for travelling fast than many motorways. If they are pretty straight, no traffic etc.

The point is, OP, that he goes faster than you feel comfortable with, and that isn’t on. He should have consideration for you, his passenger.

And because he is breaking the law you have right on your side.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 28/10/2018 20:38

If you’re going from London to Cornwall why not train or bus it? Not really feasible for a weekend visit though (and blinking expensive with taxis if you can’t get collected).

Glasgowbound · 28/10/2018 20:46

he wouldn’t be able to do his main hobby at all
Diddums.
Seriously OP you are very unlucky if all the men in your life drive at an illegal speed on a regular basis. I’ve driven for thirty years now and have no points on my licence. I’m sure I occasionally go over the speed limit but

Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 28/10/2018 20:52

My Dad also used my late mother's blue badge after she died Angry I don't know why he thinks he's just allowed to make up all his own rules when it comes to traffic given how fastidious he is about other people breaking the law!

OP posts:
Glasgowbound · 28/10/2018 21:00

Do you think you have gone for the same type of man as your father is?
Someone who puts their own convenience ahead of other people?
Ultimately you can’t make him drive legally but you can insist on it when you are in the car. I would find that behaviour a deal breaker to be honest. Dh does much to annoy me but he is a careful driver. He’d better be with our dc in the car.

Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 28/10/2018 21:03

Weirdly they both have very high standards of ethics/morality and being law abiding about other aspects of their lives just not driving for some reason. Angry

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 28/10/2018 21:11

@AfterSchoolWorry

80kph is about 50 miles an hour. 50mph isn't 'too fast'

Honestly most modern cars are perfectly safe at 85mph. I've had mine up to 130 (on a track!) and it felt stable and composed. That's a whole different matter though. I'll often sit at 80 but I'm driving and alone and it's my choice.

QuestionableMouse · 28/10/2018 21:14

@mummabubs the limit is 70 actually.

chocolatebox1 · 28/10/2018 21:43

He is asking to loose his licence, just because someone can handle a car well at higher speeds than other people doesn't mean they should drive that fast. If there's an accident and he's within the speed limit it would be awful, but if he's speeding and there's an accident there would be far more serious consequences. Just because someone thinks they're a good driver, it doesn't affect whether other people are going to make unexpected manoeuvres suddenly, accidents happen all the time.

Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 28/10/2018 21:45

Just because someone thinks they're a good driver, it doesn't affect whether other people are going to make unexpected manoeuvres suddenly, accidents happen all the time.

That's exactly what I've just told him 👍

OP posts:
starzig · 28/10/2018 21:56

A lot depends how good a driver he is. If he gets angry at people going slower in front of him or drives up peoples bums that's a big red flag of a dangerous driver. If he is in full control, always calm and gives plenty space to other drivers then (although speeding) he is probably reasonably safe.

megletthesecond · 28/10/2018 22:03

Too fast. Don't get in the car with him.
Hopefully the worst that will happen is that he'll get caught again and lose his job. He won't be able to do his hobby then.

Amallamard · 28/10/2018 22:10

MN really is a parallel universe sometimes.

80kph too fast?! That's less than 50mph. That would be dangerously slow on a clear dual carriageway. Tell me you're joking, please!

Japanesejazz · 28/10/2018 22:18

Funniest thread I’ve ever read. I do 110mph on a duel carriage way every day. You English people! Maybe you should have stuck to 1 horse power 😂

Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 28/10/2018 22:29

Funniest thread I’ve ever read

I'm sorry which part was funny? The part where I said I was having massive anxiety and mentioned a friend died in an RTA? Angry

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 28/10/2018 22:35

Japanesejazz what country are you in?

Our motorways are too crowded, and have too many speed cameras - at least they do where I live, to be able to drive at those speeds.

AiryFairyUnicornRainbow · 28/10/2018 22:42

Id rather be in a car with a competent driver doing 85...than a dithery scared driver doing 45mph on a dual carriage way

The dua carriage way I drive down each day, it is more the tail gate-ing that is the problem, rather than the speed. If you did 70 in the 'fast' lane, some moron would be up your ass trying to push you on

Japanesejazz · 28/10/2018 22:45

You have speed cameras? On a motorway? Oh dear

Asdf12345 · 28/10/2018 22:47

I slowed right down after doing the sums on how much the increased fuel consumption of making decent progress was costing me per hour of time saved. I would happily have sat and enjoyed the view at the resulting hourly rate so now tend to cruise at 52mph now and am not hasty at getting up to that.

Asdf12345 · 28/10/2018 22:48

He may find a similar set of calculations as illuminating as I did.

LoniceraJaponica · 28/10/2018 22:48

"You have speed cameras? On a motorway? Oh dear"

Yes, we have loads of average speed cameras on our motorways.

Our motorways get horribly congested during the rush hour and they reduce the speed limit on the M1 past Sheffield and Wakefield to 60mph to keep the gtraffic flowing. It would be physically impossible to drive any faster than that due to the volume of traffic.

Which country are you in?