To not want to go to Dubai?

[BrieAndChilli]

DH sister (much younger - in her 20s) is moving to Dubai - her friend moved over there, she’s visited a couple of times had a great time partying so has now got a job out there. All good. She’s leaving end of the month. We will all miss her but not DHs family are talking about going over there for a family holiday next year.
I’ve looked at flights and for the 5 of us it would be about £3k plus then accommodation as I doubt she would be able to put us all up plus spending money etc.
We have never spent that amount of money on a holiday but if she was in austrialia/Thailand/America I would scrimp and save as I know we would have a great time.
However from what I have read about Dubai it’s basically a giant shopping mall in the desert. Fine if all you want when you go on holiday is to sit around the pool all day and eat and drink all night but that’s not us nor the kids.
Would I be unreasonable to say thanks but no thanks I’d rather go on an expensive holiday elsewhere?

Not to drop feed but when we were in our 20s we went abroad for 3 years so MIL, SIL who was a young teenager, aunt and cousin all came out 2 years running for a holiday with us in the south of France.
However that was much much cheaper than Dubai!!

It's ok to say no, it's your money. Talk to your dp and see what he says. You could use it as a stop over to somewhere else as someone said.

Now where have I mentioned that there was 'freedom' from - or to - catcall? I've merely stated that we don't encounter this in the UAE! If we are going to look at the issue from a feminist point of view, I do agree that women do not have full freedom - in the UAE OR ELSEWHERE.
Anyway, I've posted here for the sole purpose of addressing the whole 'Asians are suffering in Dubai' point of view, which seems to be a moot point with many people here (chiefly non Asians who have not visited Dubai!)
I'm a mother, but from a country far from the UK, and living in a country, again far from the UK - and I'd typically have very little to contribute to Mumsnet, a chiefly UK based forum!
I've just posted here to state and reiterate that -as a long term Asian resident of Dubai - there are no such widespread issues for us here in the UAE. Many thanks for your collective concerns!
There are, of course, individual instances of abuse - but this is not the norm, and Asian expats face this in every country. Indeed, some of us have faced racism, subtle and otherwise, in many Western countries too - but we don't collectively tar all these countries as racist.
Likewise, I would want to reiterate - as a woman living in the UAE - that I have never faced any of the issues mentioned upthread! Again, there might be individual instances, but this not the norm.

She hasn't even left yet and people are talking about going over for a holiday to visit her?!?

Jesus! The odds are she'll hate it and come home. Don't worry about something that isn't happening yet.

Do you have to visit somewhere to be allowed an opinion? I get my information from Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch.

Dubai is no where near as bad as Saudi but it is far from free and comparing it to the U.K. is just silly. As I said previously you might be able to go and do some nice shopping but your gay friends might find it more problematical.

As you drive from the UAE, you probably pass through the town in which I live

And all the other (little) towns en-route that have the supermarkets you mentioned plus more.

@moussemouse, such comparisons are not silly if you are from a population that faces issues in both places. I can assure you such comparative talk often crops up in our conversations.
Dubai is not all about shopping, and there are plenty of other things to do. But this has been pointed out - and ignored - several times on this thread.
I do agree everyone's free to voice their opinions irrespective of their experiences, and I do appreciate you've taken the time to look through human rights websites.
However, someone upthread had mentioned the benefits of remitted money to South Asian nations - but this was promptly shot down as propaganda! I can tell you (I've said this earlier too, but am saying this again) - that this isn't propaganda, since I come from a demographic that has very much benefitted from this money. And there is plenty of documented evidence for this, if you would take the time to look through these, alongside the human rights websites too.

As I've mentioned earlier, UAE is not free from human rights issues, but I would reiterate (again!) that this is not the norm. Changes happen at different paces in different places - homosexuality and the like were huge issues elsewhere in the world too, and that was not too long ago either. I would , of course, not recommend Dubai to any homosexual friends, but only if they are insistent on demonstrating their affection in public (and thereby flaunt rules unnecessarily).

I would , of course, not recommend Dubai to any homosexual friends, but only if they are insistent on demonstrating their affection in public

Insistent on demonstrating their affection? Have you never automatically gone to hold a partner’s hand? It’s harder than you’d think to not be affectionate to a partner-no one is suggesting full on snogging in the middle of a market!

OP, I wouldn’t go. I wouldn’t go if it was my sister either - it’s a lot of money for something you wouldn’t choose to spend your money on.

Insistent on demonstrating their affection? Have you never automatically gone to hold a partner’s hand?

Holding hands won't cause any problems, you often see Emirati men wandering around holding hands if they are having a conversation.

Bastakia, Dubai Museum, Heritage Village, Dhow trips, abra across the creek, Falcon Hospital up the road in Abu Dhabi, dune bashing, saluki centre, camel racing, camel market, horse racing, amazing food outside the hotels (Ravis is a must visit - no alcohol but awesome food), the desert is amazing. Great snorkelling at Snoopy Island in Fujeirah (about 2 hours drive), the Blue Souk in Sharjah.

Not just shopping malls.

Skegness would be more appealing

OP, you are right to pass. Quite aside from the considerable human rights for migrant workers issues and has anyone made reference to the increasing numbers of Emiratis who are critical of the government who are having their passports taken and being censored and locked up? it is dull as ditchwater. And I say that as someone who lived there for a couple of years.

I can only assume that the people who get terribly excited about the presence of the (polluted, especially around the Palm) sea, swimming pools, parks and restaurants, shopping malls, racing, cinemas, and a ski slope inside a mall must be comparing it with somewhere incredibly dull in their previous lives.

It appeals as a holiday destination to people who like knowing that there is in fact no local culture they should feel obliged to encounter if we exclude the hilariously inauthentic 'cultural breakfasts' at the Sheikh Mo Centre for Cultural Understanding and the like so they don't have to bother and can sunbathe and shop, and take in a tourist show at Bab Al Shams or go dune bashing if they're feeling wild and adventurous.

There were very interesting things about living there, but they're unlikely to feature in any tourist experience. Realising how censored/self-censoring the press is, how FGM isn't illegal but had been banned in government hospitals, but freely available in others. The crappy, imperfectly desalinated water that used to make everyone's hair fall out if you didn't take bottled water into the shower to wash your hair. The failed or abandoned major building projects all over the place. The rate of deaths in RTAs. The large numbers of foreign prostitutes on tourist visas who would go over the border into Oman every month to renew them. The weird culture of 'madams' caught between fear and resentment of their live-in domestic help, whose passports they are obliged to keep hold of, and for whose misdemeanours they are legally responsible under the sponsorship system. The alcohol shops that would sell expats (and Emiratis, for whom it is illegal) booze with no license etc etc. Do the Barracuda bandits still exist?

My ds has accepted a job in Dubai. He intends to stay for 5 years . Hi salary will be £9000 a month tax free. His wife will go with him but 19 year old dd will stay at university in Turkey and visit. She has other family in Turkey.
I hate the thought of it but can only wish them well.

The crappy, imperfectly desalinated water that used to make everyone's hair fall out if you didn't take bottled water into the shower to wash your hair.

???

Again I'm stumped as to how people can have such different experiences in such a small place. I had great hair in Dubai - far better than when I had to deal with the hard, hard water of Cambridgeshire.

This thread reminds me of when Jade Goody was on big brother

@SharpLily, I'm no longer living there, so perhaps they have improved the water treatment. But it was certainly a widespread perception that the treated and not-entirely-desalinated piped water caused hair loss, during the time I lived there. If you google 'Dubai water hair loss', you still get a lot of hits.

People do seem to suffer hair loss here and blame the water. I’m not sure if it’s the water or the lack of vitamin D or what. It hasn’t happened to me thankfully.

I was thinking about this thread today as I went about daily life in Dubai and decided to note the nationalities of the people I came into actual contact with and spoke to in one day: Nepali, Bangladeshi, Egyptian, Filipino, Indian, Pakistani, UK, Australian, Sudanese, Iranian, Emirati.

My point is that we are all living in the UAE as it offers something our home countries do not, people are still coming to work and live here as the country offers them something that they can not find in their home countries. Everyone here is receiving something they can't in their home country, and making a better life for themselves or their families. This is not propaganda, if it were, people would simply stop coming to work here.

And our host nation allows us to practice our religions, our customs, our beliefs. The land for the Christian churches has been donated by the rulers of the UAE themselves. When our beliefs and customs differ from the faith or culture of our host country we are asked to practice them quietly and not to flaunt them in public, and people live in tolerance of one another, despite what may be written in the UK press. There are not really too many places in the world that offer this and in a safe environment.

Many people on this thread have a deeply flawed view of this country and don't seem to want to change it despite being advised otherwise by people who actually live or have lived here.

If you actually interact and speak to people who live here (at all levels) you will find a different story to the one usually told.

AllSouls you have delineated every single thing I've heard about Dubai that helped me decide that I have no desire to visit. Can't think of one incentive (and I do like shopping- it's just a bit much to fly to the middle-east for it). Mostly from ex-pats who I was acquainted with when I lived abroad who had to work there for various reasons.

I don't need to go there to know I don't want to go.

@feesh, I believe the hair loss is attributed to the change in climate, especially for Europeans, and the frequent swimming during the first few years (some expats with pools do tend to go overboard literally - especially in summers - at least until the novelty wears off!)
I've live here for several years, and haven't turned bald either, thankfully Most South Asians don't face extreme hair loss here - this again, is possibly because we come from hot/humid climes in the first place.

great post @livinginatreehouse! You're so right...it makes such a difference if people do actually come out of their bubbles/comfort zones and actually experience the place - but yes, not all of them want to!
It is surely not necessary to go in for the 'Sheikh Mo' heritage tours etc to learn more about the local culture - you simply mingle with the locals and other expats (from other countries too, not just your own!)

Which locals, since, and where did you 'mingle'? The Chinese prostitutes that used to be at all the ladies' nights on Tuesdays in the Marina? The Filipina maid 'mafia' walking their madams' dogs? Or do you mean the tiny numbers of Emiratis who make up about 11% of the population?

And our host nation allows us to practice our religions, our customs, our beliefs. The land for the Christian churches has been donated by the rulers of the UAE themselves.

Has Sheikh Mo donated land for a synagogue, then, too? Or are Jews still skulking about having seders in private houses and having to have two passports if they've ever been to Israel?

I paid more to take a direct flight to India so that I can avoid stopping at Dubai. YNBU at all.

YANBU- I have been and would never go back nor recommend it. Soulless, boring, artificial place.

^ This with knobs on. You couldn’t pay me to go back, never mind shell out several grand for the “pleasure”.

I must be in the minority then, but my DH, DS and I returned from our honeymoon in Dubai in June and we had amazing time. We stayed at The Atlantis The Palm for 10 days. It was a fantastic family orientated place, everyone was very friendly. Nice beach with lovely sea temperature, slightly cooler than bath water, my toddler played for hours in the shallow sea and sand. Waterpark was fantastic too. Visited the city and I admit I would not like to stay there, but a holiday on the Palm (for us) was fantastic, thoroughly recommend.

Sorry Hugo but that doesn't sound very different from a touristy Spanish resort.