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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to go to Dubai?

276 replies

BrieAndChilli · 28/10/2018 14:55

DH sister (much younger - in her 20s) is moving to Dubai - her friend moved over there, she’s visited a couple of times had a great time partying so has now got a job out there. All good. She’s leaving end of the month. We will all miss her but not DHs family are talking about going over there for a family holiday next year.
I’ve looked at flights and for the 5 of us it would be about £3k plus then accommodation as I doubt she would be able to put us all up plus spending money etc.
We have never spent that amount of money on a holiday but if she was in austrialia/Thailand/America I would scrimp and save as I know we would have a great time.
However from what I have read about Dubai it’s basically a giant shopping mall in the desert. Fine if all you want when you go on holiday is to sit around the pool all day and eat and drink all night but that’s not us nor the kids.
Would I be unreasonable to say thanks but no thanks I’d rather go on an expensive holiday elsewhere?

Not to drop feed but when we were in our 20s we went abroad for 3 years so MIL, SIL who was a young teenager, aunt and cousin all came out 2 years running for a holiday with us in the south of France.
However that was much much cheaper than Dubai!!

OP posts:
MrsOrMiss · 29/10/2018 06:02

As demonstrated in my post, you really aren't as well informed as you think you are.
It's a bit like looking at pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and deciding you know what the complete picture is without waiting til you've finished the whole thing.

Takemetovegas · 29/10/2018 06:05

Make it a trip to Australia with an extended layover in Dubai? You'll be half way there anyway and the rate for the flights shouldn't be too much more.

XiCi · 29/10/2018 06:13

f I spent that much on a holiday I would want local food, amazing scenery and nature, museums and temples and culture and history
You can find all that in Dubai. Surely you don't think that there is no local food, or culture, museums or history? Yes, most people go for the sun and shopping but that doesn't mean there is absolutely nothing else there, you just have to look for it, same as other places. I thought that the desert had some of the most spectacular scenery I've ever seen, you just have to get off your sun bed and explore same as any other place. Surely you would have done a bit of research if you are the culture vulture you claim. Fair enough if your husband just wants to climb mountains, but you might find that difficult in other places you want to go to such as Thailand.

I was a bit like you. Brother moved out there and I had no inclination to ever go but I have had some amazing times there. There is so much for kids and adults to do. My dd is 8 and it's her favourite destination. We haven't been for the last couple of years and she is always asking to go back. All of the negative comments seem to be from people who have never been, so irrelevant really. If you can't afford it then just say so but don't dismiss it if you can.

sinceIwannatalk · 29/10/2018 06:19

Long time visitor - I signed up on the forum just to address a few opinions here. This is a long post, but read through it fully, do!
I am South Asian, non-Muslim and I've lived in Dubai for over 15 years - and as a PP had mentioned, I'm yet to see any horrific discriminations like those mentioned above!
There are several Asian labourers, and most of them are very well protected by their own consulates. The passport issues and all that are typically carried out by recruiting agents , often from their home countries.
I can tell you most of our people, at least over the last ten years or so, are very well aware of the pros and cons of working here. The salary does help them buy houses, set aside money for education et al - this is not propaganda! You must remember that several countries outside the UK do not have a social welfare scheme for the middle class, as they are called (not very rich, not too poor). Education, health care all have to paid out of our own pockets! So a stint of Gulf employment does go a long way towards addressing the issues.

Contrary to what sensationalist publications in the UK claim, the UAE is a very safe place for women visitors (someone had cited the Express as a legit source Shock !) There are designated spaces for women on public transport, special queues for women and you are never bothered by the cat calls and hoots that so seem a part of urban life in many other cities.

I think the issue about the perceived soullessness typically stems from visitors who book their holidays through agents (proper mall hopping and Big Bus tours), or the families that come in for short term work contracts. They get huge cars, stay in gated communities with folks of their own kind , meet up other mums for coffee mornings (again their own kind), and crib about the soullessness here. I can guarantee it would seem half as empty if they came out of their bubble! (And I suspect this would hold good for several posters here too Hmm ). Several of my friends here are long term British expats who are very comfortable living in the UAE, and this is because they've taken the effort to assimilate with the rest of the country. Again, there are many South Asians (and Europeans too) who've been born and brought up here, and almost all of them (including my son) would want to return to live here.
To the OP, the UAE is a fantastic place to visit for a short holiday - just make sure you come between Nov - April, as others have pointed out. And chart out your own plan - there's a lot of cultural things to do if you would care to look for them.
To the others citing human rights, and that you'd never visit a place with human rights issues, I would suggest you please look into your own histories, and into where the money for setting up your welfare schemes (back in the early 20th century) came from (think Empire!) I can tell you, first hand, that the South Asians in the UAE do not see as much issues as our entire countries did during the days of the British Empire. Yes - I do know about the railways, unity and all the other justifications that would crop up. NONE of this are valid. We did experience human rights issues, and do get to learn the non-glossed over versions of history.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 29/10/2018 06:29

As demonstrated in my post, you really aren't as well informed as you think you are.

I've honestly never met an Omani woman working at Carrefour. There aren't even Carrefour's in the little towns I visit.

MrsOrMiss · 29/10/2018 06:46

Then GO visit a Carrefour or Lulus, there are a few in Muscat, I'm assuming you fly into Muscat.
Judging a whole country off the small towns is ridiculous. Its like saying the whole of the UK is like Royston Vasey or Amble.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 29/10/2018 06:51

I'm assuming you fly into Muscat.

I drive. I have been to the Carrefour's & Lulu's in Muscat, but have only ever seen East Asians working at them. Same as the UAE.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 29/10/2018 06:52

Judging a whole country off the small towns is ridiculous.

Judging an entire country off the one major city is pretty ridiculous as well. The UAE is far more than Dubai, and Oman is far more than Muscat.

MrsOrMiss · 29/10/2018 07:02

Good job I don't live in Muscat then Hmm

As you drive from the UAE, you probably pass through the town in which I live. Pop in to either shop, you will see Omani women working there, if you look.
Infact, all the supermarkets - Smile, Village Hypermarket, Al Meera - have Omani women working there. They think I'm silly not having a maid shopping or cleaning for me. If I did, I could go out to work too.

PollyFlinderz · 29/10/2018 07:04

I drive. I have been to the Carrefour's & Lulu's in Muscat, but have only ever seen East Asians working at them. Same as the UAE

You’re even less credible now than you previously were. Not that you had much credibility to begin with.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 29/10/2018 07:05

As you drive from the UAE, you probably pass through the town in which I live. Pop in to either shop, you will see Omani women working there, if you look.

Was quite literally just there. Didn't see any Omani women working. All men working in the shops that I saw. Perhaps I go on their days off.

Glasgowbound · 29/10/2018 07:06

A safe place for women, freedom from catcalls etc? Sounds like the description of Gilead in the Handmaid’s tale. Freedom from, not freedom to.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 29/10/2018 07:07

You’re even less credible now than you previously were. Not that you had much credibility to begin with.

Ok. Care to explain how? I know that Oman recently passed a law saying that they would no longer employee expat workers, but I haven't seen much of a change in my last few trips.

Again, perhaps I just happen to miss these Omani female cashiers.

PollyFlinderz · 29/10/2018 07:07

Regarding Oman
I have no clue with whom you are visiting but, just going to Carrefour, there are Omani women working there, some covered some not. My DH's Omani company employs both Omani men AND Omani women. These women are ballsy, bolshy able to hold their own with their male counterparts. No, they don't have pay parity but the keep 100% of their wages for themselves. Their husband uses HIS salary for bills etc. To do anything else is hugely shameful in Omani culture. These women are torn, do they want pay parity or would that feel like devolving the husbands duty to his family? They aren't brave or unusual, they are like women the world over, trying to make a good life for them and their families

Women have pay parity within the government sector and it is true men cover the bills in the family whilst a woman’s salary is hers to do what she wants with but most, like women over the world, contribute to family finances.

An interesting fact - there are more female graduates in Oman than males and more than half of the engineers in the country are women.

Also, Omani women have way more rights than any other women in the Gulf with specific laws in place protecting them against faith based injustice due to their gender.

onename · 29/10/2018 07:08

@TheHulksPurplePanties yes!!!!!! Exactly this! People seem to love bashing other countries they have no idea about without looking at their own backyard.

MrsOrMiss · 29/10/2018 07:11

Next time, send me a message and I'll introduce you to not only the shop workers, but the University educated women by husband works with.
Lets 'do lunch' on your way South.

areyoubeingserviced · 29/10/2018 07:14

Great post since. You have summed up exactly how I feel about Dubai
As I said previously I have been to Dubai several times and love it. Tourist come from all over world . It’s a bit expensive though
My children have been fortunate to travel extensively and it is one of their favourite
places.

It’s usually people who read the Daily Mail horror stories who have an extremely negative view of Dubai

MrsOrMiss · 29/10/2018 07:14

I'll also invite a couple of women I know that work in the Honda and Mitsubishi sales rooms.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 29/10/2018 07:16

Next time, send me a message and I'll introduce you to not only the shop workers, but the University educated women by husband works with.

Will do. I look forward to it.

PollyFlinderz · 29/10/2018 07:17

Ok. Care to explain how? I know that Oman recently passed a law saying that they would no longer employee expat workers, but I haven't seen much of a change in my last few trips.

Nope. I don’t feel the need to explain anything to you. You don’t know Oman and that’s all there is to it.

And there was no such law passed recently. There was however a 6 month ban on employing expats in certain roles as it’s believed there are enough Omanis now to work in those roles.

PurpleFlower1983 · 29/10/2018 07:17

YANBU, not my thing at all.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 29/10/2018 07:20

There was however a 6 month ban on employing expats in certain roles as it’s believed there are enough Omanis now to work in those roles.

Well that explains why nothing's changed then. But interesting you can't explain how the human rights situation is any different to the UAE. Certainly gives you credibility.

PollyFlinderz · 29/10/2018 07:28

I'll also invite a couple of women I know that work in the Honda and Mitsubishi sales rooms

Then there are women like my sisters in law who have their own business, and my neices and my daughters who are Drs, geologists, university lecturers in the sciences, an architect, a bank manager, teachers, businesswoman, military officer, senior employees in various ministries, all of them educated to masters level with 4 of them having Phd’s

Oh and I forgot the SAS trained bodyguard to a female VVIP.

And the other one who was recently an international woman of the year in oil and gas.

PollyFlinderz · 29/10/2018 07:31

Well that explains why nothing's changed then. But interesting you can't explain how the human rights situation is any different to the UAE. Certainly gives you credibility

Truthfully, I just can’t be bothered with you. Its as simple as that.