Hauled into school because dd had no breakfast

[takeastand]

Got called into school as dd(13) felt unwell and it transpired she hadn't eaten. I don't encourage her to eat breakfast although I don't stop her - she rarely gets up early enough to eat it during the week. I honestly thought the school would be sensible about this but what an absolute waste of everyone's time. I thought once I explained that she wasn't neglected or malnourished we could go on our way. Instead a load of hand wringing, unsubstantiated and unscientific bollocks about how important breakfast is and how clearly this is the reason dd felt light headed, even though she hasn't eaten breakfast before school the entire five weeks and this is the first day she has felt unwell.

For context - she is overweight. I'm not going to force another 300-400 calories that she doesn't desire or need at the only point of the day that she doesn't seem to be starving hungry! I make her a cup of tea each morning, she drinks plenty of water. Her house is first for lunch so she eats at 12ish!

It's half term next week and I'm not sure whether I should say anything to the school tomorrow or just let it lie.

Many studies link missing breakfast with poor concentration, stress levels and poor performance

Remind her to eat something in the morning and tell her to put a banana and a breakfast bar in her bag.

And many don’t...

I can't believe you think so less of breakfast, OP. How can a child function properly with out eating breakfast? Brain needs energy to concentrate. Body need energy to function.
Once they are an adult, it's up to them to eat it or not, but while she is under your care, it's your responsibility she has proper breakfast to do well at school.

Backing up what Ferrier said. breakfast as the most important meal of the day is bollocks.

There is increasing evidence around fasting for 12 - 16 hours after an evening meal.

That said, obviously if DD is feeling unwell, she may need food.

I remember my mum standing next to the door with a mug of milk which she made me drink as I refused to eat before school at 15,the school is batshit hardly any teenagers eat in the morning

Well yes, there are several studies for and against the idea that "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day" but one thing we can be certain of is that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

My kids school introduced a breakfast club for children who aren't fed at home. It has improved behaviour and outcomes massively.

Well now, do I trust 'oureverydaylife' or that bastion of quack nonsense, the Harvard University Health blog, summarising the very latest state of the research on the question...

www.health.harvard.edu/blog/intermittent-fasting-surprising-update-2018062914156

"There is some good scientific evidence suggesting that circadian rhythm fasting, when combined with a healthy diet and lifestyle, can be a particularly effective approach to weight loss, especially for people at risk for diabetes."

Breakfast kickstarts nothing except my appetite.

why is she ill op?

is she overweight because she is eating so late at night?

I think you need to try and take it as less of an attack on your parenting.

Your kid felt ill, and they had concerns. They have a duty of care to look busy.

Obviously they know that a 13 year old is quite capable of deciding whether they want to make themselves slice of toast in the morning or not.

Skipping breakfast encourages your body's metabolism to enter starvation mode and start metabolising proteins (muscle)

You won't go into starvation mode after skipping one meal! Anyone with any fat on their body will not enter starvation mode at all.

My dd doesn't eat breakfast but he eats morning break, he doesn't go until lunch time without eating.
However I believe if you're not hungry don't eat. I'm not hungry at all first thing in the morning I get hungry later so I eat then.

My friend eats breakfast every morning without fail and she's very overweight.

It depends on a lot more than just eating breakfast

These studies about fasting apply to adults,not young people who are growing

It is a safeguarding issue, as it may be a sign of neglect, depends on the reasons why when explained. It might be that you don’t provide her with the means to have food in the morning even if she wants them, it might be that you have food available she doesn’t want to eat and this is a one off.

However, by not flagging this and following procedure the chances of an unnoticed serious case of neglect are mitigated.

We are trained to look at things objectively as a DSL and not just pass things off even if minor. Without further information there is no way the DSL can know whether or not this is something that needs pursuing or something they can drop. Not having adequate nutrition is a serious matter. Not having breakfast has in many studies has been shown to impact negatively on performance in school and concentration levels and skipping breakfast can be a sign of serious poverty in a family as it may mean that they can’t afford breakfast rather than it being a choice.

I would have followed this up, even though I follow intermittent fasting and don’t eat breakfast myself.

This is one study that says that breakfast is important to academic performance. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3737458/

I know you can find others that say otherwise, but it’s not like the teachers are just going on nothing here, and like I said before, not eating breakfast is a key sign that there may be wider issues at home that mean that a family might need additional support.

Anyone can tell you how breakfast doesn't affect them, but it's possible your DD needs breakfast. You know, we're not all the same. Many people here probably can't stomach food in the morning out of habit more than the body not needing fuel in the morning. Doesn't have to be a big breakfast, why not something like a fruit or yoghurt.

I used to do first aid for a secondary school sports day, all the fainters left the house with no breakfast that morning.

I can understand why a young child would abstain from a healthy breakfast and replace it with a bag of crisps and a mars bar. Surly its a parents duty to provide the former rather than allowing the child to eat the latter?

My teenager hadn't had a conventional breakfast like toast or cereal since he started school, he'd rather opt for flapjack, smoothie, bacon roll at break with friends.
He's now 16, a strapping lad and in top sets at school, ergo that's teenagers for you, most eat when they want to

I think yanbu to be honest. At 13 you should still be instilling both organisation (getting up in time to eat) and good nutrition into her. I bet she's skipping a decent breakfast and then snacking on unhealthy stuff. It's healthy to eat more, earlier in the day, both to kick start her metabolism and so that she doesn't end up eating most of her intake with no daytime left to use the energy up. Eating breakfast is just a good, normal eating habit and something that the huge majority of people do.

Not going to apologise for the link.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4370098/Expert-claims-forcing-children-eat-breakfast-abuse.html

Forget breakfast, why is a 13 year old having dinner after 8pm? Her food probably isn't being digested properly before she goes to bed, and then when she wakes up she probably feels unwell, hence not eating breakfast! facepalm

Wow OP. I’ll be honest that I find your attitude shocking and a disgrace.

It’s basic common sense that a 13 year old girl needs some form of breakfast to be able to concentrate and focus to her potential. Seriously, what planet are you on??

You have a duty of care as her mother and, quite frankly, I would be ashamed if the school had to waste their time pointing out the obvious to me.

I have 3 DC, 15, 13 and 10 and not once have they left the house without something like porridge. Please don’t accuse me of trying to sound smug either. Smug or self righteous doesn’t even come into it. This is just very basic parenting, it really is. The school must be appalled. Teachers have a difficult enough job as it is without dealing with moody, hungry, low-energy pupils. What a waste of everyone’s time.

As for your comment about her being overweight, well, what do you expect? She probably gets to lunchtime and grabs the first thing going.

She is 13 fgs. Do what you like as an adult, but you have a duty of care towards your daughter and to support those trying to teach her and attempting to act in her best interests.

Schools. and the NHS are always way behind. Takes them 20 years to catch up! It's been the same with eat a load of carbs (when the NHS should be saying eat loads of good fats). Same with missing meals - it's really good for you including a long intermittent fast from dinner to lunch.

Ah well, if one man says it abuse, it must be

When did it become a safeguarding issue? Erm when tens of thousands of children are going hungry in this country because of poverty or neglect, of course it's a safeguarding red flag so to speak.

So in that respect the school is right to raise it.

What's not right is to lecture a mother about breakfast being the most important meal of the day when her 15 doesn't want to eat breakfast. Because, as this thread has shown, lots of people don't want to eat that early.