Hauled into school because dd had no breakfast

[takeastand]

Got called into school as dd(13) felt unwell and it transpired she hadn't eaten. I don't encourage her to eat breakfast although I don't stop her - she rarely gets up early enough to eat it during the week. I honestly thought the school would be sensible about this but what an absolute waste of everyone's time. I thought once I explained that she wasn't neglected or malnourished we could go on our way. Instead a load of hand wringing, unsubstantiated and unscientific bollocks about how important breakfast is and how clearly this is the reason dd felt light headed, even though she hasn't eaten breakfast before school the entire five weeks and this is the first day she has felt unwell.

For context - she is overweight. I'm not going to force another 300-400 calories that she doesn't desire or need at the only point of the day that she doesn't seem to be starving hungry! I make her a cup of tea each morning, she drinks plenty of water. Her house is first for lunch so she eats at 12ish!

It's half term next week and I'm not sure whether I should say anything to the school tomorrow or just let it lie.

Skim read this thread and think it's no wonder we're in an obesity crisis. Healthy people can go 16 hours without food, eight of which while they're asleep. Where does this whole three meals a day business even come from? It seems to be taken as gospel that this is what everybody must have and any variation leaves people in serious danger. Some people even teenagers, don't want to eat breakfast, what exactly is wrong with two, or even one, meal a day, assuming enough calories, if that's what you want and how you work best?

The wider heavier folk in our family don't take breakfast. So I think there are good biological reasons to 'make a good attempt' at getting into the healthy habit of brekkie sooner rather than later , but as there is variation in folk no need to make an issue of it. Some simply do not. When I was under the cosh feeling like puking worrying about the coming days work I started eating a bowl of porridge (do not really like the stuff) for breakfast. It helped, settled the tummy etc. I recommend giving it a go. Some Scottish habits ain't all bad though some think it horse food.

"I think you are reading the OP the way it suits your agenda picking out quotes to fit into what you want to deduct. "

Worse than that, she completely misquoted in one place.

"It’s a vibe, it’s a feeling"

So basically unconscious bias and prejudice? Shouldn't you be making decisions based on evidence. I really hope you don't have any real power.

". Studies show that we are more likely to store food/energy and gain weight if we eat late."

Must be why Spaniards are so much fatter than us. Oh wait...

My DD who is nearly 5 isn't a breakfast person. She sometimes manages a couple of spoonfuls of porridge or a couple of bites of toast! I do not think much will change as she gets older

Intellectual work needs food.

How come I do my best work first thing in the morning then? After lunch I hit the post eating slump. You know all those people taking an after lunch nap? Are they all wrong too?

I had my best chortle yet at the Mars bar comment. Although I spat out my drink too

tje Spanish have their own traditions and habits, let’s stick to the British. And might I add I would surmise their diet is superior judging by the contents of their supermarkets, so I think they can get away with different habits to us.

@Gwenhwyfar "a vibe". I love it. It will be crystal balls and horoscopes next. ('Balls' being the operative word, here).

I have a PhD, and have never been interested in breakfast. I have told my mother she is guilty of child neglect and deserved a visit from the SS.

FWIW (which is little, given the lunacy of this thread), I have three teenagers. Two are unspeakable until they have troughed a mixing bowl of porridge apiece at 7 AM. The other says breakfast makes her feel sick, and won't eat until lunchtime. But as she also said she had a headache and earache earlier, I now realise it's because she hasn't eaten breakfast for the past year. This probably also explains why she struggles with Maths, whereas I had thought it was just genetic. I'm now waiting for the phone call from school.

"tje Spanish have their own traditions and habits, let’s stick to the British. And might I add I would surmise their diet is superior judging by the contents of their supermarkets, so I think they can get away with different habits to us."

Yes, but you, or whoever it was, said it was always wrong to eat later. That's what I was disputing.

"I have a PhD, and have never been interested in breakfast. I have told my mother she is guilty of child neglect and deserved a visit from the SS."

I don't remember my mother EVER giving us breakfast. When I was primary age my DF was there, but we still put the cereal in the bowl ourselves and when I was secondary age we were left to our own devices. I wonder if I can get them retrospectively arrested?

It will certainly be noted on their safeguarding file Gwen

@Gwenhwyfar @frogsoup Am now imagining a prison full of 65yr old (plus) mums, found guilty of failing to provide early-morning protein balls for their then teenage offspring (i.e. us) who might, every now and then, have felt unwell due to having a bit of a bug or a period or just feeling meh not eating breakfast and therefore being neglected and At Risk.

Frogsoup - they better make subject access requests then to find out what 'vibe' the teachers were getting.

Breakfast is not a necessity. I'm not a breakfast eater and never was when young, I much preferred the extra time in my pit!
If she's hungry she will find food, that's basic human instinct

I have been out for dinner and come back to this. You are all loons.

For the final time...

Nobody is suggesting force-feeding a breakfast refuser

All you can do is your best - to encourage as appropriate and make an effort

Don’t be surprised that - NEWSFLASH!! In general life, people believe that some breakfast for school children is better than none - ideally. Hardly a shocker is it?

However, none of the above is the point if the thread.

Nobody cares if your daughter only eats 3 grapes at 10.45am and is the youngest member of MENSA.

Nobody cares how much weight you lost on the bloody 8/16 regime, or the fat / sugar quotient of bananas, or that you personally fancy breakfast at 11.23am.

None of this is the point.

The point is the particular attitude of the OP who is, not just picking her battles with her daughter, but actively AGAINST breakfast -

“I don’t stop her having breakfast..,”

Well done OP, have a medal.

...”but I don’t encourage her either..,”

You don’t say.

It is clear and telling that OP seems irked her daughter is overweight. Annoyed with the school for daring to give her well-meaning advice. Mocking those who try and communicate with her. Telling the school “at least she’s not smoking weed” if a morning. Basically on the defensive, obtuse and pointing the finger anywhere but at herself.

Her attitude stinks frankly and parents like this are the types who want to drag everyone else down to their level. They are a low-level irritation in schools with no basic respect or concept of working in partnership with anyone in the interests of their child.

Join the loon club, then, @Mandarine.

Is it just possible that the OP didn't think all that carefully about how to word her post because she didn't expect it to create quite such a palaver??I wouldn't have done, if I had started it.

And Heaven help anyone who tries to make a light-hearted remark (along the lines of the OP's remark about weed).

FFS.

I have 2 teenage share 13 & 17 share both have told me stories about their female classmates meal skipping.girls will buy lunch so it appears on their lunch account and then bin it. As I said up thread one of their friends fainted and fractured her skull.It is a big problem in schools and I think it's great the school are being proactive

@gwen Firstly, you have misunderstood what I meant by vibe and feeling. This is what us humans feel on a daily basis. You build a picture from someone’s body language, their expressions and the language they use. This is something that people feel. Ever been on a shitty date and get a vibe off someone? I really wouldn’t mind a crystal ball though.

Secondly Gwen, even though it wasn’t me who mentioned it, eating late tends to have a correlation with the time you go to sleep. In the UK we tend to eat our dinner and remain quite inactive afterwards and fall asleep early. In Spain they may eat around 9-10 but they also are quite active and stay awake quite late compared to the UK. They also have siestas during the day. So this can’t really be compared to the UK.

Thirdly I’m still very surprised that you mock our legislation. The one that protects our children. I may have annoyed you, fine, but these protocols were not invented by me. It’s actually very sad and I’m quite shocked that you feel the need to take the piss out of protocols that save innocent lives.

You continue to bombard me with safeguarding jokes. These are not my rules, your mocking our system. You find it hilarious, like its my mad procedure. This is legislation, this is protocol, one not written by me. Once again it happens whether you like it or not. Sounds like you guys have never experienced what I have, otherwise you would be grateful for these protocols. So please don’t mock them.

Also ferries, frog & Gwen what thread are you reading. For the thousandth time, please read @mandarins pp. You choose to ignore the facts. Mandarin sums it up.
One fact you can’t deny is that OP has already had a safeguarding concern raised.

Another assumption but I’m assuming her DD must have felt lightheaded and faint. Otherwise OP would have given us a different reason to her illness. She has not.
If my DD was faint and lightheaded I would definitely put it down to needed to eat or drink. If I believed it not to be, as OP is unsure then yes I would be going to the GP as an emergency drop in.

OMG onto day 3 of this? All for the sake of having the last word. How tedious.

So why are you back @A580?

Are we not allowed to respond?
Why are our responses ‘needing to get the last word’?

So here we go, people who don't understand population based statistics thinking that because some studies have shown that AS A WHOLE children benefit form eating breakfast, it equals to ALL children benefiting from it.

This reminds me of the pressure put on mothers who opt to bottlefeed, being given propaganda by women who are so proud of themselves for breastfeeding because THEY are devoted to giving the best to their kids and get pleasure from slating those who don't insinuating that mum's who bottlefeed are neglectful. Women who don't understand that the statistics they love to brand about relate to the population as a whole and that the scientific evidence that shows the benefits of breastfeeding to the population is marginal, not the drastic benefit to the indivual child they believe.

Bottlefeed your child: they will be fat, get ill, and won't achieve well.
Don't feed your kid breakfast: they will be fat, ill and won't achieve well...

OMG @swingofthings did you read the last few posts? Please refer to mandarins explanation. It is the mother’s unwillingness to support the school. NOT the fact that she skipped breakfast. 😩😩😩😩 how many times does it need to be repeated?