Hauled into school because dd had no breakfast

[takeastand]

Got called into school as dd(13) felt unwell and it transpired she hadn't eaten. I don't encourage her to eat breakfast although I don't stop her - she rarely gets up early enough to eat it during the week. I honestly thought the school would be sensible about this but what an absolute waste of everyone's time. I thought once I explained that she wasn't neglected or malnourished we could go on our way. Instead a load of hand wringing, unsubstantiated and unscientific bollocks about how important breakfast is and how clearly this is the reason dd felt light headed, even though she hasn't eaten breakfast before school the entire five weeks and this is the first day she has felt unwell.

For context - she is overweight. I'm not going to force another 300-400 calories that she doesn't desire or need at the only point of the day that she doesn't seem to be starving hungry! I make her a cup of tea each morning, she drinks plenty of water. Her house is first for lunch so she eats at 12ish!

It's half term next week and I'm not sure whether I should say anything to the school tomorrow or just let it lie.

Mars bar to eat walking to school. Might not be ideal but give her energy to get through to break or even lunch time

NOt all kids want to eat but lob them a chocolate bar they’ll eat it

LostinLondon I hope when and where I please, thank you very much.

Nothing you have said has made me think anything other than that you have some serious problems and possibly shouldn't be in the job you proclaim to be in.

As TheDowagerCuntess says, your main job is to be kind and understanding of the parent - not to criticise them and, worse, attempt cod psychology when you've NEVER MET THEM. This all makes me suspect you are totally bogus.

I’m usually very empathetic but dealing with unsupportive parents is so disheartening. You are watching a child spiral down a very dangerous road right before your eyes but you can only do so much when the parent isn’t onboard.

In that case Lost, you must have a wildly different approach in real life, that on this thread.

I trust the real life approach is effective, so why not try to the same here, given you're so keen to get involved.

And OP, please don't lob her a Mars bar on the way to school.

clairenewbie lol

WHY not? if she isn’t eating breakfast give her a snack. Mars bar is ok.
Didnt do me any harm and I was professional dancer who hated eating breakfast

To be honest Lost, I’m starting to think the OP was a wind-up.

Little dog you clearly ignored what I just said. You are clutching at straws trying to discredit what I have said. Which is absolutely fine because my opinion could be wrong. But the factual information that you are actively choosing to ignore is there.

I am very good at my job and I got it for a reason. Honestly my job is way beyond your scope of understating on this matter. Unless you working in education or child protection then you couldn’t begin to understand.

clairenewbie breakfast MN style is something a bit more 'sophisticated.' However, breakfast cereal and milk is probably not much different to a Mars.

Dowager you’re probably right. I should have been more empathetic. I think OP annoyed me by completely disregarding the advice of professionals and then bashing them on MN.

Mandarin I have a sneaky suspicion OP is still around but NC.

LostinLondon how would you know what my job is? I don't hide behind it but I work in a field very similar to (what you say is) yours and you are not professional in any shape or form! You've been nothing but a wind up and a cod psychologist and had no sense of holding back on your opinions.

Dear god, Mandarine, not another one of you. My 4yo gets her own breakfast - a bowl, a spoon, some milk and some muesli. Or occasionally weetabix. I'm in the room. Or at weekends her big brother and sister are. No bin-rooting (though personally I'm of the opinion that muesli is pretty akin to eating bin contents, but then there's no accounting for taste) If that in and of itself is a safeguarding issue, I'm the queen of Sheba.

Little dog I assume you must be a psychologist.

I do not for one second believe you work with CIN. If you do your outlook and opinion would be completely different. Some have mentioned that certain admissions aren’t safeguarding concerns, when in fact they are. If that is something you don’t accept/agree with then you can’t possibly work in a similar profession to mine.

You have mandarin who worked in CP who agrees they are concerned but yet in a thread of 30 pages you now decide that you work with vulnerable children?

Frog no one is saying that what you’re doing is wrong, just that if a 4yo were tell a practitioner this then yes it would be raised as a safeguarding concern. But the teacher will discuss it with you and will be satisfied with your explanation. Also supervising your child to get their breakfast is not the same as your child your doing it unsupervised, which is something that does happen.

Ahhh bless it's not nice if you felt the school were critising you. We all work so hard as parents to do everything right by our children, none of us want to think there are things we need to change etc. I would always think It is good of the school for taking the time to show their concern. Some people can get away all their lives with various eating habits. However the eat 3 to 4 healthy meals a day has always been a healthy simple rule to live by, by staving off hunger with a planned healthy meal it reduces the desire to eat sugar and fat rich foods. It is an important way to maintain a healthy gut, help prevent diabetes (by maintaining stable energy levels). Also it's a good idea to eat plenty so that we are not hungry and eating in the evenings. Studies show that we are more likely to store food/energy and gain weight if we eat late. Finally (sorry I have a lot to say on this subject!) a regular energy supply (i.e. Eating) is necessary for concentration. May I ask is your daughter much over weight? Could this Also be a concern of the schools? I hope you had a good half term, try not to let this upset you.

Lostinlondon DD 11 knows if she's hungry or not. If she has breakfast if she's off school, it's around 11.

And it has somehow managed to get even worse. A MN Classic, for all the wrong reasons. I feel sorry for the OP. I bet she never imagined what a stream of nonsense one pretty straightforward post could unleash.

Have PP been affected by the clocks going back?

FWIW, I had an auntie who claimed to be an expert in child safeguarding. She also claimed to have survived three types of cancer, to speak fluent Italian, and to have a PhD. Strangely, none of these things was true. It is just was well MN wasn't around in her day.

priscilla 

I don’t think there’s been any ‘expert’ advice. Basic knowledge, yes.
Many cases of child neglect, whether low or high level can start with an admission of not eating breakfast. Once again this is not my opinion but factual. Anyone with basic training in safeguarding and child protection know this.

I’ve already said I’ve probably too harsh on OP. That’s due to her attitude towards the support that her child’s teachers are trying to give her.

I’m not saying that OP is neglecting her child but an admission on not eating breakfast has caused her DD school to raise a safeguarding concern. Once again a fact stated by OP.

When did the clocks go back?

Tonight.

She is 13 year old ..
Ffs there are some
Idiots on here she can clearly make her own breakfast !!'o