Hauled into school because dd had no breakfast

[takeastand]

Got called into school as dd(13) felt unwell and it transpired she hadn't eaten. I don't encourage her to eat breakfast although I don't stop her - she rarely gets up early enough to eat it during the week. I honestly thought the school would be sensible about this but what an absolute waste of everyone's time. I thought once I explained that she wasn't neglected or malnourished we could go on our way. Instead a load of hand wringing, unsubstantiated and unscientific bollocks about how important breakfast is and how clearly this is the reason dd felt light headed, even though she hasn't eaten breakfast before school the entire five weeks and this is the first day she has felt unwell.

For context - she is overweight. I'm not going to force another 300-400 calories that she doesn't desire or need at the only point of the day that she doesn't seem to be starving hungry! I make her a cup of tea each morning, she drinks plenty of water. Her house is first for lunch so she eats at 12ish!

It's half term next week and I'm not sure whether I should say anything to the school tomorrow or just let it lie.

Have the school actually done anything wrong? Are they the ones who have raised an overweight child? You should direct your energy into thinking about how you can help your child rather than complaining about others who are simply showing concern for your daughter.

Mine did not like breakfast but would grab some fruit or a breakfast bar to have during first break.
Mine would faint when periods were due.

I would have thought not eating breakfast is fine as long as when you do start to feel hungry you can eat something!

Probably not always possible at school.

But if the reason she felt ill wasn't down to lack of food, moot point anyway.

However on finding out that she hadn't had breakfast it's no great surprise that school jumped on that.

So they have an overweight teen who felt ill & hadn't had breakfast that morning.

Not sure that they did overreact by asking you in tbh.

" fruit or a breakfast bar to have during first break."

Breakfast then?

I have actually worked in a school where breakfast was both compulsory and free. It was seen as an investment.

If someone genuinely was not hungry they could get away with a fruit juice or a coffee.

Lots of staff rooms and classrooms have 'emergency' pot noodles and porridge for children who can't concentrate due to low blood sugar.

OP

I'm not suggesting your force feed dd but she should have something available to eat in the morning even if she takes it to school with her.

A carton of orange juice will bring up her blood sugar quickly, a couple of slices of ham would give her some protein and also be low fat, low calorie.

Can I ask the people who believe breakfast isn’t important or who no longer try and influence their teens to eat in the mornings - would you still not worry about this if they had an important exam on a given day?

I was overweight all my childhood. Obese. I skipped breakfast, I wasn't hungry. I was given 1 sandwich in a little sandwich bag for lunch. No money and no drink. I was given a packet of supernoodles for tea. Every. Single. Day. The same sandwich filling, the same supernoodle flavour. Even on Xmas day.

I didn't loose weight. My cals were under 800 per day. I was dehydrated and malnourished. But I was fat. No one noticed or questioned the neglect I experienced.

Be glad your DD is at a school that cares, and doesn't let this kind of thing go unchallenged.

No I wouldn't stress too much about breakfast before an exam I'd suggest a milky coffee and a juice maybe. I couldn't eat due to nerves through the my a levels and gcses before morning exams so I'd drink my calories then eat later

Fat storing is a myth

This whole thread has made me laugh a lot but this line wins.

Can I ask the people who believe breakfast isn’t important or who no longer try and influence their teens to eat in the mornings - would you still not worry about this if they had an important exam on a given day?

Since eating early in the morning always made my dd vomit, I'd expect that to cause more problems. But would always make sure there was something she could take in to eat later when she was able to cope. My DM is exactly the same.

Dd now trains for a very physical profession which takes a lot of fuel. Still can't eat first thing in the morning though, so has to make arrangements.

Lego, Im so sorry to read that. I can’t believe they only gave you a packet of super noodles every day for dinner.

I grew up in another country where there were not many food choices tbh and no corner shops near school or junk options. My mum always made breakfast in the mornings and that was that. We made time because there wasn’t really any school lunch or snack provision at school (though school finished earlier than in UK). You could take in bread and cheese or something, but we were never hungry even though we had no money or much choice about what we ate. If children were dizzy at school from hunger, then that would have been seen as neglect. Yet in this country where there are so many food options, so many people don’t bother.

Venus, I've always been slim, but only through careful monitoring because I will put on weight a lot of very easily if I don't. I've been up and down 1 stone (8 1/2 stone average) and I can say with absolute factual certitude that it is when I've tried to introduced breakfast that I've topped towards the top scale of that stone.

I know that this is not common but for me, its eating in the morning that triggers anger. I do a lot of sport, run 10k every weekend and I've learned that I perform much better on an empty stomach. I can go 24h and more without eating and feel fine. Maybe some people just regulate their blood sugar better and don't need regular fuelling.

Mandarine it's people like you who are very annoying because they assume that everyone fits within some conformist box and everyone who doesn't just get label.

I'm the type of mum you describe. Professional, kids left to their own devices in the morning and no I don't check what they eat. We have had many talk about healthy eating, keeping a good balance and the risk of being overweight. My DD would never eat in the morning and yes, that includes when she has key exams and oh surprise. She's managed to get 7As and Aa at GCSEs and 1 A and 2 As at A levels and is now studying medicine. She plays sports regularly and is a perfect size 8 so her brain and body can't have too deprived.

All kids are different. If OP's was fainting regularly of course it should be looked into and if indeed she is starving herself in the mornings in an attempt to lose weight, this needs investigating, but it doesn't mean that all kids not eating breakfast have an issue.

Is the definition of a happy and healthy child someone who is a size eight and studying to be a doctor?

" Many cultures survive perfectly well with 14-16 hour gaps between eating. Why is that unhealthy?"

Tell a Spanish person that people in Britain usually don't eat between 7pm and 7am and they'll gasp at the long break. (I know some people in the south of England eat later).

I used to believe in the importance of breakfast, but seen so much on the 18-8 recently that I'm not so sure.

Sorry 16-8, the trend for doing all your eating in an 8 hour window.

I did level 3 safeguarding children training yesterday (nhs nurse) children missing breakfast was highlighting as a potential warning flag for neglect. This may be why school reacted as they did.

That is just ludicrous. I don't want to eat first thing and neither does my teen DS. DP and DD eat the minute they get up. Should I force feed DS? We do try to make him eat but it makes him feel sick.

A 13yo can decide whether she wants breakfast or not. DD 11 doesn't eat breakfast very often.

"All those people who don’t / didn’t as a teen eat breakfast:
We’re you / are you then ‘starving hungry’ for the rest of the day as the OP says her Dd is, and were you / are you overweight?"

I eat breakfast before school so that I could save some of my dinner money. However, at uni I didn't eat breakfast even if I was getting up early. I eat lunch around 12 so didn't have time to get hungry. I wasn't overweight.
I eat breakfast now because lunch at work is a bit later than that and I find it helps with 'digestion'.

YANBU. I haven't eaten breakfast since I was about 8 years old. There's lots of research out there that disproves the "most important meal of the day" nonsense, and I even read a research article recently which found that skipping breakfast could help prevent type 2 diabetes!

Your daughter is 13, not 3. She'll be fine. Hopefully the school will back off after this.

I don't think it's ludicrous that a child missing breakfast is a potential marker for neglect.

"Should I force feed DS? "

Yes of course-that's exactly what was being suggested

If kids aren't hungry before school-fair enough.

It might be a problem if they are feeling hungry for a while before they get a chance to eat something.

swing - I think you are misunderstanding me. I’m perfectly aware that some people don’t need to eat as frequently as others and, as I’ve said, I can quite easily go all day on nothing but coffee. However, I’d this a pattern I would recommend for a growing teen? Obviously not.

Yes I’m fully aware that all children are different. I have a 15 year old DS who is 6 ft 5 and ears like a horse. My DD (13) will never actually say she’s hungry until she’s literally in the point of collapse, nor will the younger DD actually. Despite this, I know they function better if they eat fairly regularly and I can see a distinct decline in their mood and general behaviour if they don’t eat all day, or graze on junk. This is not rocket science. One DD has declared herself vegan recently, so I’m working with this now. You can respect your DC’s habits, but still care and try and remind them if common sense, as I’m sure you do. It’s the “I don’t give a damn and anyone who does is an interfering busybody” type attitude, that I take issue with. Of course there will be children who seem fine and get all A*, on junk food and irregular eating - even those who have eating disorders - but in general, it’s not a great idea if you can avoid it.

I have never liked breakfast first thing, I like to have a cup of coffee before I leave the house & then breakfast after 10am

This thing about breakfast being the most important meal of the day / wasn’t it Kelloggs that decided this

No partner it shows that it is possible to not mess up your education and not end up fat without breakfast since some posters are keen to insinuate that that's what is bound to happen otherwise.

Mandarine you are still referring to 'common sense'. Well your common sense doesn't have to be of others. Yes, of course if my DD had complained of not feeling wheel in the mornings, struggling to concentrate before eating, then of course I would have discussed with her that not eating breakfast could have something to do with it, but as she was performing well and feeling fine, our 'common sense' was that she didn't need breakfast just as I've never needed it too.