Hauled into school because dd had no breakfast

[takeastand]

Got called into school as dd(13) felt unwell and it transpired she hadn't eaten. I don't encourage her to eat breakfast although I don't stop her - she rarely gets up early enough to eat it during the week. I honestly thought the school would be sensible about this but what an absolute waste of everyone's time. I thought once I explained that she wasn't neglected or malnourished we could go on our way. Instead a load of hand wringing, unsubstantiated and unscientific bollocks about how important breakfast is and how clearly this is the reason dd felt light headed, even though she hasn't eaten breakfast before school the entire five weeks and this is the first day she has felt unwell.

For context - she is overweight. I'm not going to force another 300-400 calories that she doesn't desire or need at the only point of the day that she doesn't seem to be starving hungry! I make her a cup of tea each morning, she drinks plenty of water. Her house is first for lunch so she eats at 12ish!

It's half term next week and I'm not sure whether I should say anything to the school tomorrow or just let it lie.

Let it lie. They've obviously got too much time on their hands. She's 13, old enough to know if she's hungry or not.

Actually called into the school rather than a phone call! Crazy.

I think a lot of teenagers don’t eat breakfast. My babysitter couldn’t eat breakfast throughout senior school. It made her feel sick.

In an ideal world I would have breakfast around 10am. Not everyone wakes up ready or able to eat.

Didn’t answer your question. I’d leave it. No point wasting more of your time.

YABU breakfast is important and it's not unsubstantiated.

If it wasn't important why was she feeling unwell.

No offence op but skipping breakfast will not help your DD lose weight. Get her up earlier as breakfast actually kick starts your metabolism. She should lose the 300/400 calories elsewhere

I’m sorry but I think YABU.
I know we’ve heard it all before but breakfast IS important.
Food is fuel (yeah I know, yawn) but it’s hard to function without some form of energy, especially a growing dd.
You might find shes not so ravenous later if she eats a sensible breakfast

School are justified in raising this as a potential sign of neglect. Assuming she had dinner at about 8pm the previous night that's 16 hours with no food. No wonder she is struggling to maintain a sensible weight if all of her eating for the day is condensed into the short period of time left when she's not at school or asleep. I imagine she grabs any high calorie food she can while she can

I rarely ate breakfast in my teens, and even now I don’t really - can’t face food early in the morning. I think enough time has been wasted on this so think I’d let it go.

I see their point..her blood sugar levels could have been low.

@purplelila2 why is it important? 

I know I should let it lie but I was a bit shocked at the meeting about it that I just nodded along,now I'm thinking ffs there's an obesity crisis in young people (mine included ) and I should have challenged their stance

Just send her in with a banana or a malt loaf for break... Sounds like they have way too much time on their hands!

I didn't eat breakfast the whole way through secondary school. Still skip it now most of the time (or have something mid morning).

I would get to the bottom of her funny turn though. Could it be hormonal? Polycystic ovaries can cause weight gain etc.

It’s a bit mad to be called in to discuss.

On the other hand, skipping a meal and then eating more later in the day to compensate because you’re starving is not a good habit to get into as a good pattern. So worth encouraging a banana on the way to school or whatever?

YANBU, breakfast isn't intrinsically important, if you don't wake up hungry then why force yourself to eat? Unless hunger strikes at 10am and is satisfied with junk food of course.

Bloody hell, I can't do food or even cup of tea on a morning and I'm 50. Never been able to eat first thing, amazingly neither could my children.
I would not have been too happy to be dragged into school about it.
Probably let it go. Pick your battles. But yeah you can be angry.

If she is 13 years old she is old enough to know if she's hungry in the morning and make something for herself.

Now, if she was 5 I agree, Mum should be getting her something. But 13 is old enough to know how to make yourself some toast or cereal or scramble some eggs if you want. As long as Mum makes food available to her I would not be forcing her to eat.

I have never liked breakfast but does your daughter have a morning break? Maybe she could take something to have then. I used to be well gel off the girls whose mum’s gave them a roll and drink for break!

I sympathise, OP. My 13yo dd really struggles to eat in the mornings, she says that it makes her feel sick to eat first thing.

Our compromise has been for her to drink a breakfast smoothie - mostly fruit, blended with some veg, and I usually chuck in some oats, nuts/seeds or some high protein plain yoghurt. She finds it easier to drink this than to eat, although some mornings, she won't quite finish it.

You can't really force them to eat at this age!

I couldn’t eat before 11am as a teenager, it made me feel really sick. Caused many a row. Totally unnecessary.

They may also be concerned she is skipping meals because she is overweight.

You tell me why it's NOT important @takeastand.

If she's eaten the night before as pp has said that's 16 hours between meals.

If it's not important again why wasn't she feeling well.

You want people to agree with you and hear what you want to hear.

YABU

Are you sure they don't also have other concerns?

My DD is only just within normal BMI for her weight, so I'm very keen for her to eat breakfast. Last week she didn't write anything her last lesson, which was flagged up to me..it turns out she hadn't eaten anything all day by choice. School weren't bothered, they never really have been, and she's gone to schools with excellent pastoral care. But it's always me fussing, not the school.

I know little and often is important for little ones, but I really don't believe it for adults (dd is not far off an adult in this context) Many cultures survive perfectly well with 14-16 hour gaps between eating. Why is that unhealthy? and yes if she were regularly feeling light headed of course I would consider blood sugar but that's simply not the case and I explained that to them.

It is good practice to eat breakfast but at 13 I would expect her to be sorting herself out and if she doesn't want it you can't force it. I can't belive you got called into school for this. If it had been an infant school child I can see their point but a 13 year old, FFS.

I never ate breakfast when I was at school. My mother tried to persuade me but I couldn't face food first thing. At thirteen, the op's daughter is probably the same. All the persuasion in the world will not make her eat if she doesn't want to. My son was the same, I felt guilty about it but he would not eat anything until later.

School children are individuals, the school should know that!

I suspect they have wider concerns OP