Hauled into school because dd had no breakfast

[takeastand]

Got called into school as dd(13) felt unwell and it transpired she hadn't eaten. I don't encourage her to eat breakfast although I don't stop her - she rarely gets up early enough to eat it during the week. I honestly thought the school would be sensible about this but what an absolute waste of everyone's time. I thought once I explained that she wasn't neglected or malnourished we could go on our way. Instead a load of hand wringing, unsubstantiated and unscientific bollocks about how important breakfast is and how clearly this is the reason dd felt light headed, even though she hasn't eaten breakfast before school the entire five weeks and this is the first day she has felt unwell.

For context - she is overweight. I'm not going to force another 300-400 calories that she doesn't desire or need at the only point of the day that she doesn't seem to be starving hungry! I make her a cup of tea each morning, she drinks plenty of water. Her house is first for lunch so she eats at 12ish!

It's half term next week and I'm not sure whether I should say anything to the school tomorrow or just let it lie.

How much crap does she eat between lunch and dinner because she doesn’t have breakfast, be honest? If OP’s daughter was a healthy BMI and not passing out I’d agree that skipping breakfast wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. But clearly her dd is one who needs it.

I know little and often is important for little ones, but I really don't believe it for adults (dd is not far off an adult in this context)

Ad the mother of a 13yo i totally disagreed. In some cultures 13yos get married and have babies, and 10yos walk 10 miles to school. It doesn't mean that's what's best. There's a big difference between surviving, and what's best.

If your DD isn't eating breakfast at home then she should at least take a mid morning snacks in case she does need to eat.

Dear lord. Your daughter, as you acknowledge, is overweight and you are perpetuating her bad eating habits. Whilst she may not be hungry first thing, the lack of breakfast means she is significantly more likely to snack, usually on something unhealthy. Her school want to ensure she arrives ready to learn, but without food this can’t happen as well as it could. Learning as a teenager takes a lot of energy which you aren’t providing.

Have you considered her being overweight and not eating breakfast are related? If she's feel ill because of it her blood sugars are probably all over the place.

Seems a bit over the top, but I don't disagree with them. If she ate a healthy breakfast, she would probably find herself more able to control her eating.

It's reassuring to know that schools are keeping an eye out for things like this. For every 9,999 kids who are absolutely fine there will be one who isn't.

If she struggles to eat first thing, could she take a snack to eat at first break?

I'm surprised to see how many people think it's fine for a child not to eat breakfast before school! Surely they concentrate better when they've eaten?

she should have had breakfast and you should be encouraging her, dont be lax, even a banana.

If she is obese, was taken ill and said she had no breakfast, the school have a duty of care towards her. Better that they investigate than just ignore a potentially negligent situation.

we only know what you tell us op.

How did they haul you into school? What did the summons say?

poor kid,
you shouldnt need the school to tell you to feed her! but obviously you do, be the adult here and encourage her healthy eating

School are right, you should be encouraging her to eat a healthy breakfast. I get that some kids may not want to, but all the more reason to make sure she gets something, even a smoothie. If she's feeling lightheaded you need to have a chat with her and make time in the morning to sort this.

This thread is a bit nuts. Skipping breakfast DOES NOT always make you more likely to snack. I never have breakfast unless I have to (say it's a birthday breakfast or something) and find if I start the day with lots of carby food I'll be peckish all day and eat way more than I normally would.

Skipping breakfast and fasting is considered absolutely fine these days. I don't eat anything before 12 and am perfectly fit and healthy.

Think the school is overreacting but breakfast is very much not the meal to skip. Skipping breakfast encourages your body's metabolism to enter starvation mode and start metabolising proteins (muscle) and when you then subsequently eat, fat storage is maximised. It can also encourage overeating at other meals and excessive snacking.

Been debunked numerous times. Please educate yourself and stop spreading rubbish. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day" do you work for Kelloggs?

Screenshot from the NHS website, took me about 3 seconds to find it and within 40 I could produce many more.

Obesity and no breakfast at that age can be seen as signs of neglect. It isn’t the case for you but you surely understand the school has a duty of care.
Can your daughter have a glass of milk and a small piece of fruit? She doesn’t need 300 calories. She can just have something light. She may well have been dehydrated than hungry. In any case she sounds like she needs her diet to be reviewed and to eat more healthily. I have at least one portion of fruit with breakfast - in order to get adequate fruit and veg she needs to think about this.

My DM stopped insisting I ate breakfast when I was 15.

I stopped insisting my DS had breakfast when he was 15, apart from exam days, when I'd make him force down something - usually a one-egg omelette - to feed his brain

Neither of us has an appetite before about 11 o'clock. Brunch is our favourite meal

Get her up earlier and get her a healthy breakfast. Her metabolism will start earlier, she will have more energy and less likely to then overeat come lunch time. Lots of people don't feel like eating first thing but you simply train yourself to do it as it's good for your body. Teach her good habits now before it's too late and her weight problems follow her into adulthood.

There's been a lot of research on this and trials show that eating breakfast isn't necessary or necessarily good and the more calories eaten at breakfast, the more calories actually eaten throughout the day. This research has all been on adults as far as I'm aware though, so it could well be different with teenagers. As an aside, shen I was a teenager I couldn't stomach breakfast, it would make me very nauseous. Your DD might be similar.

how did school know she didnt eat? did she faint, was she tired, perhaps she had low blood sugar, felt unwell?
Please give her somethign to eat, even a mid mornign snack would be something
it doesnt matter that posters above are happy not to eat. the issue has been raised

At work today we had a discussion about breakfast. A couple of people who have lost a lot of weight say they love eating overnight oats. The morbidly obese person said she never eats breakfasts as it makes her more her more hungry. The rest of us just seemed to grab a hot drink and a bagel/a bowl of sugar free cereal.

@Thomlin

That is a study done on already lean people. Not on those overweight and prone to snacking. There is masses of evidence so show skipping breakfast has a negative impact.

Breakfast is only important if you’re hungry, there’s no point eating it if you’re not hungry.

They are justified to be worried - I know three girls that had gone on severe diets when we were in yr 9 that passed out from hunger because they hadn't eaten anything since lunch the previous day and one of them fell down some steps and hurt her back. She really ought to be eating something for break if she can't mange breakfast. To be this annoyed at the school caring about you child you do come across as either a) feeling guilty because you have failed as a parent or b) the sort of parent that would probably kick off if they hadn't called you!

I am sorry but this is lazy parenting, you should be waking her up so she has enough time to eat.
You haven't said she feels sick at breakfast only that she doesn't have time. The two are totally different. She is not an adult she is a long way off, and she needs your guidance, support and help to make the right food choices.

It is a long morning at school without food, and she is clearly not managing at all otherwise the school would not have called you.

Given you have mentioned more than once that she is obese and needs to starve, maybe the school are concerned that you are not feeding her deliberately and making her fast. Have you explored when she is eating or if she is overeating why? Have you looked into health problems? If she is 'obese' and not eating and not losing weight, then maybe there is a medical reason why.

What changes have you made to help her? Only healthy food in the house, family exercise plan every evening etc etc?

I am not surprised the school called you in, and they will be monitoring her (and by extension you) for some time I would imagine.

She might have low iron levels - I had the same issue around her age. I would feel dizzy and lightheaded at times and after blood tests it showed low iron levels.

Just a thought.

At 13 she's quite old enough to sort out her own breakfast or go without. I can't believe school contacted you about it let alone call you in 🙄