to think being certified off work sick doesn't mean you can't leave the house

[Swansandducks]

A colleague has been out of work on a cert for the past two weeks. Someone saw her yesterday apparently collecting her niece from a ballet class and is now going around saying our colleague is 'throwing a sickie'.

AIBU to find this annoying? The woman in question has had a very bad chest infection and is due back in work on Monday. Surely it is normal that on the last few days of her illness she is capable of going out and about for an hour or two a day, which is very different to facing a long commute and a full day at work?

I had a chest infection a few years ago and it knackered me for months, if not years. I still get wheezy on occasion now, and for ages if there was a bug going around, it hit me harder than before. I was really, really unwell, and I didn't just snap straight back into full health - I had a week or so of pottering around followed by needing to rest, during which I was signed off work. I wasn't going to sit inside watching daytime tv and going slowly mad, but nor was I at full strength, or up to a full day of work.

I hate to say check your privilege, but there are some posters on here who really need to do that. If you haven't been as unwell as that, lucky you. It is pure dumb though, nothing more.

Whenever I read these posts I always am very glad I don't work with these posters who apparently put the same amount of effort into their full work day as they do into a 20 trip to pick up a child and drop them off. I can't imagine their productivity is much above floor level.

I get it, I really do. But some mental illnesses are situational. Being in
a job you hate or being in a crappy relationship for example and until the root of the problem is sorted out the problem will never get better

But jobs change all the time, new managers, new hours, new tasks.
And the worker can't help that, so a job you loved changes well beyond your expectations over a few years, just up and leave? Not wait a while til things change again, may be for the better?
Also just jumping in and out of jobs looks quite bad on the cv, not even getting into how many jobs there are.

It's probably wise to get up and out and about for a few short bursts before going back to a commute and full days work.

As for the stress - holi days and concerts are just the thing she should be doing. It's a great distraction and better for her stress than sitting in bed worrying and sytessingvherslef stupid about what ever has induced het stress.

You don't need to be horizontal on a bed in a dark room if signed off sick!

And sometimes work isn't the problem but it can't aid recovery either.

I suffered depression after multiple pregnancy loss. It was nothing to do with my work place but I was signed off anyway because I just could not cope with it. The doctor told me to take some time for myself doing things I enjoy.

Work is not the be all and end all to life. Sometimes people need a break to recover from something that has mentally drained them simply by enjoying life or they risk spiralling further.

Work is not the be all and end all to life.

I agree, it is not the be all and end all. But it pays the bills and keeps a roof over your head.

I would rather spend my days chilling with my family watching movies or reading than going to work. But that's life.

But jobs change all the time, new managers, new hours, new tasks.
And the worker can't help that, so a job you loved changes well beyond your expectations over a few years, just up and leave? Not wait a while til things change again, may be for the better?

That was my situation exactly Flooffloof. Four happy years in a job I loved and was proud to do, and then six months of hell prior to going off sick because of a change in management.

Thing is, I can look back now with clarity and identify points where things could have been different, or where certain issues were a definite trigger. But that's with the hindsight of the mentally well again. At the time, in that fog of growing stress and depression, being able to think so clear-sightedly and make decisions that would have an impact not just on me but my family, was impossible.

Also, it wasn't a case of simply waking up one morning and thinking "I know, I'll go to the GP today and get signed off sick with stress". It was a gradual drip-drip-drip where I didn't realise quite how bad it was getting because I was trying to power on through, putting how I was feeling down to the 'natural' stress of dealing with sudden enforced and, as it turned out, constant change; attributing the warning signs of never quite feeling well, always being tired etc to 'coming down with a bug'; doubting my own judgement and second-guessing every decision I made until I ended up in paralysis by over-analysis because I couldn't trust my own thoughts. It took what would have once been called a nervous breakdown for me to realise how bad things had become, and by then I would no more have been able to go through the process of resigning and finding a new job than I would have been able to solve the Brexit challenge single-handedly.

I take my hat off to anyone who can find the wherewithal to leave their job and find another while in the midst of acute stress, because that was far beyond me at that point in time.

I work in an emotionally stressful environment. We really try to look after people with stress / anxiety and depression and have suggested on more than one occasion that a holiday while off sick would be a good idea.

Personally for me, when my anxiety is bad I prefer to be at work because it keeps my mind under control but I.can see how that might not work for everyone.

We could all.do.with being kinder to each other. Work isn't life!

It depends what they do. There are people who take the piss with this though. Come on, it's naive to think some folks don't.

If you're off work with a chest infection, but can do a school run for other people's' children (look after said child), you can go to work imo.

2 weeks off for a chest cold seems alot

Chocolaterainbows obviously... I'm not suggesting everyone should pack in their jobs and just spend their time doing whatever they want.

I'm saying your health is important too and sometimes it should come above forcing yourself into work if you need time to recover.

2 weeks off for a chest cold seems alot

Possible though. Once you factor in things like having to wait for a drs appointment. And the antibiotics don't work first time round . Or you were misdiagnosed at first and had to have multiple appointments befire being given anything it. Or it exacerbated an asthma flare up. Or you caught a secondary infection

There is so much pressure for people to go back to work as soon as you possibly can so before you're 100pc better and I don't think it does anyone any good. You get more tired at work, don't do a great job, take longer to recover and may still be infectious. There are lots of steps between lying in bed all day snd commuting and doing a full days work. And I don't think it matters if it's physical or not - I'm still knackered and stressed after a standard day in the office. It makes sense to build up activity gradually until you're OK to go back in for a full day

YANBU. I picked up my daughter from nursery 2 weeks after my C- section, doesn't mean I was able to be at work.

You never know the details of someone else's life. And just because someone is off with 'Stress' and not 'The Plague' doesn't make it any less valid. It's between them, their doctor and HR.

There are people who take the piss with this though. Come on, it's naive to think some folks don't.

Of course some do. But my default is to assume someone is not taking the piss, especially based on a snapshot so short as to be meaningless, like seeing them running a simple errand.

2 weeks off for a chest cold seems alot

OP said it was a severe chest infection, not a 'chest cold' (whatever that is).

YANBU. I had a miscarriage 18 months ago and was signed off work for nearly a month. Some days I was in hospital, one day I had surgery, other days I was at the GP, but other days I felt ok to go out to the shops etc. And whilst my DH was able to take some time off work to look after our 2 year old, and my mum helped too, there were days where I was flying solo with him. But I was not in the right place emotionally or physically to return to work. Life doesn’t just stop when you’re ill.

I was off work once with depression- went to a colleagues birthday party for an hour and didn’t drink anything, mainly coz I didn’t want to but also partly because I didn’t want ppl to see my ‘having a good time’, even though seeing people is exactly what I should have been doing when off with depression. Most of my colleagues who were at the party said absolutely nothing about my appearance even though they didn’t know why I’d been off but of course one person had to go back into work on Monday and everyone I’d been ‘on the lash’ and couldn’t possibly have been any kind of ill.

I'm suffering from the dreaded lurgy and if I was officially off sick (instead of retired) I suppose I could have got into trouble if I'd been spotted at the supermarket buying cough sweets/medicine, large tissues, milk and teabags iyswim.

Maybe no-one else was available to pick up the child from ballet? Chest infections can take their time to clear up I'm afraid. I don't entirely blame her.

...yes, I would love to know what a “chest cold” is... A chest infection is nasty and can potentially develop into pneumonia. I think this person has confused this with the “sniffles”.

Yanbu and any employees ever moaning to me about someone being seen out while off sick would get batted away pretty quick!

People need to mind their own business.

If a doctor has signed you off sick it’s because you’re unfit to do the job. Absolutely nothing else implied there.

People who are too sick to work can still need to go pick kids up or go to the chemist or doctor and shock horror pop to the shops on the way home. Not to mention illnesses that will improve with doing nice things out and about. When I was signed off with depression my boss made it very clear he was 100% supportive of me doing whatever I wanted while off work and if anyone said to him they’d seen me out having a meal or drinks or whatever he’d say ‘good, she should be’.

Most illnesses don’t need you to be bed bound. People really should mind their own business.

I don't know the person being discussed as the one off work sick and collecting her niece from an after school activity.

However, consider this (a hypothetical situation if you will):
Day 1 - wake up feeling not great, so go into work and make an appointment that day for a GP visit.
Day 2 - Don't go into work, attending GP. Advise work of this absence. GP will advise that I have a chest infection. Given prescription for antibiotic which I should start to take as soon as. GP also advises that I don't attend work until infection clears, so signed off for the time being (exact dates sent to HR in work and to my manager)
Day 3 - Antibiotic slow to take effect
Day 4 - Feeling a bit better so did a bit of housework. Now feel rubbish again. Take to my bed
Day 5 - didn't leave the house today. Feeling cabin fever on top of everything else. Can't wait to get out again.
Day 6 & 7 - Weekend
Day 8 - Still signed off from work as per GP recommendations. Hurts when I cough. Still got an infection.
Day 9 - Starting to feel human again. Went out for a walk today. Hope no one from work saw me as they may think I'm well enough to be back at work but I know I'm not as does my GP.
Day 10 - First day I'm feeling properly on the mend. Might to something a little more taxing today.
Day 11 - Feeling about 85% better today. Still have a couple of days left of antibiotic to take and will finish the course of medication.
Day 12 - Can't wait to get back to work next week. Will collect little Mary from dance class today as I'm definitely up to do a bit of driving but still not 100% better.
Day 13 & 14 - the weekend. Prepare for work on Day 15
Day 15 - back to work today. Someone saw me on Day 12 collecting Mary from dance class and is letting HR know and making out that I was faking my illness. I could have been sponsored by Kleenex for the amount of tissues I was going through. I'm really cross that someone would think that I'm capable of something like that.

That's probably not a million miles away from what happened (or might be 100% made up, who knows)

A severe chest infection was what I had (fever around 40 centigrades, struggling to breathe, coughing up blood, unable to sit upright without support) until my doctors decided there was enough of a rattle in my lungs for it to qualify officially as pneumonia.

There's a girl signed off with 'stress' at my work at the moment. So far she's been on holiday, had multiple meals out and been to a concert. All posted on social media in the last two weeks.

The posting on SM was ill-advised, as this thread shows. As for the rest, it seems fair enough. I was once signed off with stress and depression for 4 months. During that time I was fine to cycle miles and miles with my camera. i was fine to ride my horse. If I'd gone into work I'd have thrown up before I got within half a mile. My GP specifically told me that if I stopped wanting to get out and spend time with my horse, I was to make an emergency appointment.

There were points when I was suicidal. Getting up and getting dressed could be exhausting. And it was work that was stressing me. Eventually I resigned whilst still signed off sick. I was just very fortunate that shortly afterwards someone I used to work for contacted me asking if I wanted to work for them again. So you can look OK and indeed by OK to do certain things - but not to cope with the day in, day out grind of the workplace.

Since that period, I seem to average about 1 day off sick every 4 years, even when coping with stress at work. But the stress of malicious whistleblowing and your manager throwing you under a bus - that is something else.

There’s no such thing as a sick note anymore. They’re called Fitness to work certificates because GP’s are supposed to agree with their patients if theres ‘some’ work that they can do as opposed to nothing at all.

So someone recovering from the tail end of a chest infection could for example work a few hours, perhaps in the middle of the day during that period to help them back into work whilst still not being 100% fit to work full time. They can have a slow start to the day, avoid rush hour travel and finish early so I don’t agree in all cases that people need to be signed off fully.

Whilst I fully appreciate some people genuinely need time off and getting out and about may be part of their recovery, posting all over social media really doesn’t endear them to colleagues and isn’t necessary.

It’s also not true that you can’t return to work if you have a fitness to work certificate or it hasn’t expired. You are perfectly within your rights to return to work when you’re ready and often it can be earlier than the end of your certificate.