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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think being certified off work sick doesn't mean you can't leave the house

265 replies

Swansandducks · 25/10/2018 10:47

A colleague has been out of work on a cert for the past two weeks. Someone saw her yesterday apparently collecting her niece from a ballet class and is now going around saying our colleague is 'throwing a sickie'.

AIBU to find this annoying? The woman in question has had a very bad chest infection and is due back in work on Monday. Surely it is normal that on the last few days of her illness she is capable of going out and about for an hour or two a day, which is very different to facing a long commute and a full day at work?

OP posts:
Haberpop · 25/10/2018 11:18

If she can pick her niece from dance class she can go to work I agree she’s taking the piss.

Utter bollocks, I had surgery this year and my surgeon signed me off for 8 weeks. At no point did he say I couldn't leave the house for those entire 8 weeks, I couldn't drive or do every day things like lift a kettle (or even a tea cup for the first 4 weeks) but I could, and did, get out and about.

BollocksToBrexit · 25/10/2018 11:21

If she can pick her niece from dance class she can go to work I agree she’s taking the piss.

Don't be ridiculous. I'm signed off sick for the forseeable future. I still have to do the school run, the swimming lesson run, the football class etc. I still have to go out and buy food and, shock horror, have lunch out with a friend. I'm still allowed to have a life, to go on holiday and have fun. This morning I've been at the gym and tomorrow I'm going to the seaside

Mugglemom · 25/10/2018 11:23

The world would be a better place if people minded their own business particularly about other people's health issues.

YANBU, your colleague is.

Rebecca36 · 25/10/2018 11:25

The colleague should mind their own business. It's normal to go out for essentials towards the end of an illness, not the same as travelling to from, and spending all day at, work.

bringincrazyback · 25/10/2018 11:26

If she can pick her niece from dance class she can go to work

You sound like someone who doesn't get chest infections. (In both senses of the word 'get'.)

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/10/2018 11:27

Funnily enough it's probably the ones who " never take a day off" who spread the love around and cause people to be sick in the first place .

happypoobum · 25/10/2018 11:27

Doctors sign people off as being "unfit to work".

It is perfectly acceptable to leave the house and do other things such as pick up a child from an activity. If you are off with back pain and post photos of yourself doing a bungee jump, then yes, fair enough, but lying on a beach for a week recovering is not the same as being at work.

Santaclarita · 25/10/2018 11:28

It depends on the person too. If someone is an actual hard worker and helps a lot, not off sick a lot, then it's better than someone who does the bare minimum at work, constantly whines, doesn't know their job well and is regularly 'sick'. I know which one I would believe.

Bowerbird5 · 25/10/2018 11:31

My GP told me to get out or I would end up depressed. I usually stay at home because of people reporting back if someone is seen out. However I had to get out and about this time to make sure I was fit enough. I did let work know that I was doing this on GPS advice. Due to being out I realised I wasn’t fit enough to go back to work and took another four days before returning. I think people shouldn’t judge and certainly not in this case.

AGHHHH · 25/10/2018 11:33

If she can pick her niece from dance class she can go to work

She wasn't taking part in the dance class you realise? Hmm

Allergictoironing · 25/10/2018 11:35

Some people on here sound like disability assessors. If you can walk 50 yards, you're fit to work. If you can cope with a 30 minute chat with a friend on the phone, you're fine to meet and interact with strangers for hours on end. If you have a condition that has good and bad days like MS or ME, and on your very best days you could probably manage a day's work as long as you don't mind paying for it for the rest of the week, then you're fit to work (never mind finding a job where they let you come in on an ad hoc basis when you feel OK in the morning).

WitsEnding · 25/10/2018 11:36

@Gileswithachainsaw better for the rest of the team if someone is back doing a slightly crap job than leaving them to pick up all of it, and children spread more germs than commuters. Is it really a thing that having one infection (at the recovery stage) makes you more susceptible to another? Can't remember an example of it happening in my family or workplace.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/10/2018 11:38

Yes it is. When your body is busy fighting off one infection it allows others to take hold.

Vicliz24 · 25/10/2018 11:40

I'm currently out sick due to a shoulder operation. I'm just about to go for a walk on this beautiful sunny day . My shoulder is painful but my legs work . Having working legs doesn't mean I can do my job . My right arm is useless I can't even dress myself but I can and will go out for my walk because my head needs to be in a good place .

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/10/2018 11:42

Also sometimes anti biotics don't work so they need to try new ones and sometimes it takes more than one course.

Contrary to popular belief most people don't slack off work at the slightest sniffle. By the time they have got to the Drs they have likely been ill a long time . You don't recover over night.

BlossomCat · 25/10/2018 11:45

My husband is currently on long term sick leave. At the moment, he's in a cafe having coffee with a colleague.
Thankfully, that colleague realises that going out this morning will mean my husband will sleep for most of the afternoon. Being able to get out of the house is good for his recovery, but does not mean he's well enough to go to work for a full day.

stressedoutpa · 25/10/2018 11:47

It's a difficult one. I wouldn't do it personally for the very fact that I would be worried how it would be viewed. If I'm off sick I would only nip to the shop down the road or the doctor. Nothing else.

I covered someone who was on long term sick a few years ago. She was off for six months. It looked like she was having a lovely time on her Instagram account. Until I turned up to cover, her two colleagues were being run ragged. She was managed out within a year of returning.

If your job is important to you then I would tread carefully when on sick leave. Companies are pretty ruthless IME.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 25/10/2018 11:48

As someone else said, as a single parent there were many years where I had no choice but to leave the house and do school runs despite having had a doctor sign me off for a week. Sometimes you have no choice.

Judging other people when you have no idea whatsoever of the bigger picture is particularly unpleasant.

Blanchedupetitpois · 25/10/2018 11:51

YANBU, you don’t go from being 100% ill one day to 100% fine the next. There will always be a couple of days where you’re much improved and able to do a bit (like nip out to collect a child) while still not improved enough to return to work. People are so judgmental and quick to accuse.

Cornettoninja · 25/10/2018 11:52

In ye olden days people used to work through illness to survive till they basically dropped down dead or died through being unable to support themselves and living in awful conditions.

My point is we live in 2018 in a supposedly civilised society with all the wonders of modern medicine. Sadly for us we still have relatively frail meat sacks that can be propped up by modern science but still need time.

100 years ago that same chest infection would have stood a high probability of landing her in the graveyard. Here we are with medicine but now she just needs to recover and build back up to her regular activites. Aren’t we lucky to live in an era where bitching about other people’s health is something we get to do rather than wondering when the next funeral is come flu season?

minionsrule · 25/10/2018 11:56

Would also add that if you are signed off sick as op implied, even if you do feel better towards the end your employer cannot take you back until the sick note has expired or doctor has said you are fit to work.
Having had a real chest infection that nearly put me in hospital i would not go back docs a few days before note ran out to say can you sign me back early!
You can feel 75% better but quickly wear yourself out

lydiaatthebarre · 25/10/2018 11:56

This is one of the reasons that I am so glad that no one from work lives anywhere near me. The possibility of running into one of them if I'm out sick but well enough to leave the house for a couple of hours is minimal. I also don't post about my activities on social media, and think anyone who does when they're out sick is mad to do so because you will get the finger pointing and 'ooh ooh if she's well enough to go for a walk on the beach she's well enough to come to work'.

PookieDo · 25/10/2018 11:56

When I had my gynae surgery i got infected stitches and urinary retention - for both of these I ended up at my place of work for treatment. Couldn’t drive and had to get the bus. Needed a serious lie down afterwards but still had to get things sorted and not everyone who is ‘out of the house’ is fit for a whole day of work

Awaytome · 25/10/2018 11:56

My GP has just signed me off work for 3 months. While I'm struggling to even leave the house, I intend to go to a job interview tomorrow and have an appointment in the morning that I absolutely must attend (non medical). To try to get myself back on track, I intend to run and get to the gym most days. Hasn't happened yet, but this appointment in the morning is the reason I'm ill. I'm hoping when that's over, I'll start to recover quickly.
So, while my illness is not a physical one, I can see why someone would use a physical illness to explain absence. Issues of the 'head' are still not seen in the best of lights.

riotlady · 25/10/2018 11:57

YANBU. I was signed off work for 2 weeks when I was pregnant because I kept fainting and the doctor thought it was exhaustion. I could manage to potter around the shops but definitely not a full day at work

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