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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think being certified off work sick doesn't mean you can't leave the house

265 replies

Swansandducks · 25/10/2018 10:47

A colleague has been out of work on a cert for the past two weeks. Someone saw her yesterday apparently collecting her niece from a ballet class and is now going around saying our colleague is 'throwing a sickie'.

AIBU to find this annoying? The woman in question has had a very bad chest infection and is due back in work on Monday. Surely it is normal that on the last few days of her illness she is capable of going out and about for an hour or two a day, which is very different to facing a long commute and a full day at work?

OP posts:
havingabadhairday · 26/10/2018 18:05

@KitKat1985

I think 2 weeks off for a chest infection is a bit much (unless she's being in hospital or similar). I would have thought after 3-4 days after starting antibiotics she would be well enough to work.

I've had two weeks off with a chest infection before. Usually when it's been a secondary infection after a nasty virus, so I was already feeling like crap. Not everyone is the same, not every infection is the same.

GunpowderGelatine · 26/10/2018 18:12

YANBU. It's not just about leaving the house, but actually being able to function properly in a job, which is much harder than walking in somewhere, collecting a child and walking out.

Mind you it all depends I suppose. My BIL was off sick with stress, SIL posted on Facebook about 'bacon butty Sunday' and his work colleagues moaned how he can't be that ill 🙄 (because stressed people clearly don't eat). There was a woman who, when I worked in local government (very generous sickness rate), was off for months with a bad shoulder after mountain climbing. I was a bit 🤨 when she came to the Christmas party and danced for hours on the dancefloor including doing the Macarena

Yb23487643 · 26/10/2018 18:15

She might’ve done that then needed an hours nap. What a lot of twunty judgemental types on here!

Dorsetdays · 26/10/2018 18:28

Gunpowder. Don’t see how you’re being judgemental at all. Being off sick with a bad shoulder and then attending the work party doing the Macarena is literally taking the absolute p*!

Bit like the woman at our place who was signed off with CF but managed to train and take part in the world championships of a very demanding outdoor pursuit during the same period.

Clarabell100 · 26/10/2018 18:33

I was off work with anxiety for a couple of months and my mum had a go at me for posting pictures on social media of somewhere we’d gone for the day with our two year old. So someone with anxiety should be confined to the house? That’s going to help, isn’t it!? She couldn’t see my POV no matter how long we talked about it.

ICouldBeSomebodyYouKnow · 26/10/2018 18:38

signed off with CF

So, being a Cunty Fucker is now a recognised illness - who knew? Grin

aspoonfulofyourownmedicine · 26/10/2018 18:38

I hope I don't have the displeasure of working with some of the people on here, what awful attitudes some people have.

I've been ill all half term and on antibiotics because a wonderful parent at our school sent her child into school as 'fine' when he had tonsilitis and a heavy cold and he had d&v over a few days. As a result, I caught his tonsilitis and ended up on antibiotics. I couldn't do my holiday cover job, which is casual, so I don't get paid, losing me £300 this week! I've been out and about though, as I've still had stuff to do and a child of my own to ferry around to appointments/classes.

I was also nearly hospitalised when pregnant nearly 10 years ago, when a person came back from sick leave when he wasn't fully recovered, because he felt judged and guilty for being off sick, spreading his germs and being unproductive as he felt so crap. I caught flu and ended up with a bad chest infection for months afterwards.

Shame the world is filled with judgemental busybodies who have nothing better to do but to pick on others when they're probably already feeling shit!
Yanbu op

Dorsetdays · 26/10/2018 18:40

Icouldbe. ha ha...no it was chronic fatigue Smile

Tonkatol · 26/10/2018 18:59

Fowles94 Taking time off for a chest infection. My brother, who has asthma, had a chest infection in January this year. He was signed off from work for a week, given steroids and antibiotics. He returned to work after a week and by the end of a week back at work, was ill again. He had a couple of days off work and returned. This pattern continued for about six weeks until, on a Thursday, he felt too ill to work and took the Thursday and Friday off. He called me on the Monday, barely able to speak. I drove to him and immediately called an ambulance - to cut a long story short, he then spent the next two weeks in hospital in an induced coma, followed by a week on a ward and then signed off for another month. Despite having the flu vaccine, he had contracted Swine Flu and pneumonia - since February, he has not been able to work for longer than a couple of weeks without being signed off.

Fortunately, he has a very understanding employer who can see how much he just wants to be able to get back to normal and work. Unfortunately, different complications have not made this possible and the fact he sees a different GP every time he attends his surgery doesn't help matters.

You may have been very lucky and never had a serious chest infection, but please don't make such sweeping statements on something you obviously know nothing about.

woodhill · 26/10/2018 19:17

Best not to post pictures though.

A colleague got caught out when she was spotted in a taxi supposedly going to the airport??. She did go abroad and did face disciplinary action when she returned to work Asa he was signed off sick. She did have form though

Tonkatol · 26/10/2018 19:28

I have read this whole thread and have to say it has left me feeling really sad.

We probably all know someone who has "pulled a sickie" when not necessary. However, some of the comments here show a complete lack of empathy towards others.

I was 50 last month and had to retire from my admin role within the NHS last October due to health issues. I have chronic back and neck pain and, whilst a previous poster commented that the legitimacy of MSK issues is difficult to question, the operations, scans and treatments I have had over the past 30 years would contradict that statement.

Two years before I left work, I had an operation to remove two discs in my neck and I needed a period of time to recuperate. I have separate issues with my back/leg and, although not at work, either lying in bed or sitting in a chair all day would not have helped those problems. However, as my mobility is severely restricted, I couldn't go for long walks. I did go out and about and, for me, my car is my lifeline, as it is the only way I can get out of my house unaccompanied (providing I don't have to walk more than a few steps at the other end).

I lived in the same village as the hospital I worked in and would often meet friends at our local garden centre for coffee - I could drive there and then a friend could push me in a wheelchair to the cafe. I used to hate seeing people I worked with as I would feel so guilty being out whilst signed off from work; however, I was also suffering depression and if I had had to stay at home in pain, things would have felt even worse.

In reply to the comment about working restricted hours, towards the end of my employment, I returned from a period of sickness on a phased return - initially for two hours a day and then gradually increased to a maximum of four hours a day. When I had been off following my operation, my manager had arranged for cover by an apprentice - he was a very nice person, but not really capable of the job; however, because mine was a very standalone role, my manager had no idea what I did, or the importance of my role within the department.

The advantage of the phased return was that I could go into work once I had woken up and the medication had taken enough effect to reduce the pain (bad nights meant that sometimes I wouldn't actually sleep until about 5am and to get up an hour later was very difficult). The disadvantage was that I loved my role and took it very seriously - I tried so hard to only work the 2 hours but, when you can see things that haven't been done or people are so pleased you are back they are unintentionally putting unrealistic demands on your workload, it was very hard to stick too. Also, the nature of the role meant that, although I didn't start at my usual 8.00 am, I realistically needed to start by 9.00 am to get certain things done.

Things were worse when I increased to 4 hours - I was constantly conflicted between getting jobs done and leaving on time. I struggled to leave within 5 hours, with just a 15 minute break to rest muscles. I would leave work, get home within 10 minutes and would literally take painkillers and collapse in a chair. I have a husband and four children but when my youngest was getting in from school, I was barely able to string a conversation together due to pain and exhaustion. I had to rely on others preparing a meal and had absolutely no quality of life.

However, work gave me a sense of worth and I loved my job. There is nothing I would like better than to be back at work in a role that was interesting and fulfilling.

To say that GPs give out sick notes willy-nilly and people can often return to work before the sicknote expires is such a generalisation and is very hurtful to those who need to be off work. There will always be those who don't want to work but, for the majority, sickness is taken as a last resort, often leading to longer periods of recovery. It is sensible to try some normal daily activities before returning to work - if you can't get out and shop for half an hour at a time of day that you are feeling at your best, then you definitely are not fit to return to a full working day and, with the best will in the world, an employer will see an employee returning to work as fit to carry out their role (not just for a few hours).

Some people on Mumsnet are very fortunate if they have never come across physical or mental health issues requiring periods of sickness.

megletthesecond · 26/10/2018 19:36

Two weeks off with a chest infection isn't that extreme. I cannot stand colleagues who come to work sick. I'd rather they pissed off home to rest and left me to pick up the slack. I haven't got time to be ill and really don't want their viruses.

Pushing through a chest infection is an excellent way to develop pneumonia and become seriously ill..

Chucky16 · 26/10/2018 19:45

Person at my work (nhs) has been off waiting for an op on her foot. She got an appointment for it but refused the appointment as she was going away to Spain just after and didn’t want op until after that. Now she’s still off waiting for a new date for her op and will be off sick over Christmas. That is really taking the piss. Bet if she didn’t get full wages as sick pay for 6 months she would have had the op ASAP and be desperate to get back to work.

ToftyAC · 26/10/2018 19:47

If she’s signed off then that’s that. Whilst signed off an employer cannot take the employee back until signed back as fit or the sick note expires. It’s a matter of H&S and employers liability. But Jesus, of course you can leave the house.

Dorsetdays · 26/10/2018 19:52

Tofty. That’s not correct, an employee is free to return to work before the end of a fit certificate if they wanted to. There’s no issue of employers liability either.

Unicornfeathers · 26/10/2018 21:57

I’m signed off after having a mental health crisis & I think I recognise myself from one of the posts as I have just been on holiday...

My holiday was built into my recovery plan. I had PRN meds in case and my autistic son had a plan for if I was unwell.

I actually intend to ask for a fit to work certificate early as I want to be back at work but I have been advised to see the MH teams first.... it’s their call not mine.

Bumblebee321 · 26/10/2018 22:16

I had a sick note and went back before it finished. I was sent home as my company said they couldn’t allow me to work for the full period I was signed off.

GunpowderGelatine · 26/10/2018 22:18

People can be right wankers about MH issues. In the aforementioned local government authority I worked for there was uproar because a lady off with depression was seen catching a train to Devon. My colleagues actually wrote a letter to the manager to complain FFS. Luckily the manager (the best I've ever had) told them to STFU

Werve1 · 26/10/2018 22:22

I am currently off sick, I had a breakdown a couple of months back, and also have some other major health problems. I had a holiday in France to stay with family arranged 6 months ago. My manager and HR agreed that I should go away as planned! And as I am off sick my holiday days have been added back to my allowance.
I have to say that the time in France was the best medicine ever! I hope to be back to work in the next week or so if given a fit note.
At no time have I felt I need to stay indoors whilst off sick!

Livingtothefull · 26/10/2018 22:27

I think some people need to wind their necks in and not speculate about reasons why their colleagues are signed off sick - it is none of their business. And by the way, gossiping and moaning about someone's sick leave could be construed as bullying if it creates a hostile environment to work in.

If you are concerned that a colleague's sick leave is putting a strain on you it is something to take up with your manager. Every business should expect people to be human beings and be off sick from time to time and have a contingency plan for dealing with it, so it could be that they are not doing this effectively. So: complain to your boss rather than complaining about the colleague for having the presumption to be ill.

JuJu2017 · 26/10/2018 22:32

I think for illnessss such as stress, depression and/or anxiety, you are allowed to leave the house and even participate in recreational activities (a guy at work was seen out bowling whilst on the sick; nothing was done because he was suffering from depression and social anxiety and it was considered to be part of his treatment plan to go out). But a chest infection - yes, she should be in bed. Unless it’s towards the end and she’s feeling better?

Ollivander84 · 26/10/2018 23:36

I was signed off originally for 6 weeks by my neurosurgeon. But I was expected to walk as much as I could after the first couple of weeks so yes I was out walking, at the gym, at physio, doing food shopping, having coffee etc etc
The GP then signed me off for longer as I couldn't go from only being allowed to sit for 45 mins at a time to sitting for 10hrs at a desk

People still moaned. Despite the fact I had emergency surgery to stop me being paralysed, had a discectomy and laminectomy, nerve decompression and it took 5hrs surgery to fix the mess the disc was in 

Leontine · 26/10/2018 23:41

@juju2017 seeing as she’s back in work on Monday I’d say it is.

Teacher22 · 27/10/2018 07:21

It is actually better for people in work if their infectious colleagues stay away from the office. Likewise, it is better an ill coworker recovers fully before returning to full time duties so as not to risk further absence.

Having said that I once worked with a mickey-taker who had months off sick and boasted of replacing his bathroom while off. It took over a year for the management to get rid of home and they discovered he had done the same thing at his previous workplace and they had fired him too. He collected nice redundancy payments along the line as well.

But most people are not like this and can be cut some slack.

Teacher22 · 27/10/2018 07:22

Him not home. Doh! No correction facility!