Is my cleaner taking the piss?

[hazykates]

So - I'm a maths teacher - my cleaner (a much needed luxury as I'm a messy bint) asked if I could tutor her little girl who's struggling at school. I'm mad busy with work and family life but I'm also pretty terrible at saying no and like our cleaner a lot (she's really good!!!) so I said yes! I wasn't expecting her to pay, if the tutoring went on for more than a few sessions I thought I might ask for reciprocal payment if the subject was raised (she could clean for the hour I tutor her child for example). As things have turned out she hasn't ever offered anything in reciprocation for the favour, she's consistently late for the lesson without apology, and was downright rude when I had to rearrange the other day as my little girl was ill and my husband away. I'm loathe to say I can't do it anymore as think she'd have the hump and it took me so long to find a cleaner that works for us - but I can't help but feel a bit pissed off about feeling like she's taking advantage! AIBU?!

Just ring the police and show them the texts.

I have dealt with someone like this. She would turn ‘psycho’ they are her words and she’d say she had no fear of the police - she’s spent the night in the cells. She said she’d happily do time, she didn’t care. She had children as well!

My husband got raging one day and rang her, he was so angry, I think he really scared her. Never heard from her again. Not telling you to do that but I’m saying that they do need to be stood up to by police or someone she’ll listen to. I’m sorry, I’m not sure that was helpful x

I’d do it.
She’s not showing her DC a good example of how to behave in any of this, so letting her think that it’s okay for adults to do petty retaliation is not good!

Put a camera on your front door.

Something is once again telling me that she is on mumsnet or someone has shown her this thread and it's made her alot more angry that everyone is saying ----truthful horrible stuff about her......

I know someone who was being harassed.... the police had a word and we haven't heard anything however the incident was logged so if it does flare up again they can take additonal steps....

I would speak to police and see what they have to say....if you keep the dog poo (outside) they may be able to do a dna test against her dog may be?

Yes you call the police and they take a sample of the shit and will link it to her dog (well, they might) and prosecute.

It's a very hostile act, criminal damage I think.

You absolutely call the police.

Any advice, or anyone who’s had any experience dealing with someone similarly unhinged?

Yes, have a look at the Softzilla threads on here - a remarkably similar story of an imagined slight that spiralled off into pages and pages of harassment and police involvement. It seems that the personality types involved are more or less identical

Also.... message her and ask if she can earn her wages from yesterday by clearing up the dog crap some asshole has posted through her door

Oh op bad luck. For future reference after various odd and troubling incidents with independent cleaners we use an agency. Different team each week any issue ring the company no personal relationship. Bliss. You’ve learned the hard way! We had a mad cleaner who drank our spirits and became obsessed with us

Just call the police. This sort of behaviour very rarely stops after one incident. Call the police.

And if she is a cleaner with a lot of local people you know, then tell those people. She should be given free access to people's homes if this is the sort of thing she does.

Definitely ring the police.

Call the police definitely and maybe get one of those Ring doorbells or whatever they’re called?

I would say log it with the police. All the texts and the dog poo is just too much of a coincidence.

In my experience, the police are very good at listening to your feelings in matters like this and will just log it in case you get further bother.

*shouldn't be

Jesus, that's disgusting. What sort of grown woman would do that?! She clearly has some problems.
Definitely get a camera for your door.

I agree with PP about only hiring a clean through a professional agency in future.

Ugh, I'm shocked, what an awful thing to wake up to 🤢

*cleaner

What a vile, vile woman.
Log it with the police and keep a note of everything that's happening and all communication just in case it escalates.

Definitely call the police. She can't get away with this behaviour. And if another incident happens I'd definitely look into getting CCTV.

Poor you, how awful.

Do not have any further interaction with her and report to police.

You do need to call the police OP. This has gone too far. It doesn't matter if you can't prove the dog poo bit. You need it all logged in case anything else happens.

Wow OP you've had a bit of a rough ride on here and none of it has been your fault, likewise with the cleaner!

Absolutely nothing wrong with having a cleaner or with calling her daughter mini cleaner. Most sane people on here would recognise that as a regular mn style nickname for children - mini whatever rather than mini cleaner specifically of course!

Anyway I would definitely log this with the police before it escalates anymore.

Another seconding the police. I doubt it's the first nutty thing she's done.

Wow. Just wow.

That's utterly revolting, what a scumbag she is if it was her.

Sorry you're dealing with this - she sounds like a lunatic.

I would be calling the police for that, no question. There may well be local CCTV which shows her (assuming it is the cleaner) in the vicinity. In the context of the text messages, I am sure the police would be willing to have a chat with her.