Am I an ungrateful twat?

[dirtyandscusting]

So today it's my birthday. Very Late 30s, kids, serious and stressful job - when I was younger I'd have classed me as a "proper" grown up (ish).

I have very few expectations of my birthday I don't get cards or texts from family etc, and have fewer expectations of my partner we've been together long enough for me to know present buying isn't his forte so this year I suggested no presents and instead we go out, just us two as I've been pregnant and breastfeeding for forever (2 under 2) and don't particularly want or need anything..."no dirtyandscusting, no, no, no. I've pulled it out of the bag this year and reckon I've got you an alright gift" he says.

So, my DP has just given me his present, he's spent nearly £40 on a Gryffindor scarf (Harry Potter merch in case you're unsure).

Now, I love HP and I'm a bit of a geek about it but I do not feel as a nearly 40 year old woman I can wear a fucking gryffindor scarf, furthermore it was nearly £40 and it's not even brilliant quality it's all thin and laughably long - I'm on mat leave at the mo and that is almost 1/10 of my current pay!!! I'd honestly rather he not got me a gift than waste his money on something I'll never wear.

Do I hurt his fragile male ego by telling him it's not something I'd have chosen (or asked for) or AIB completely U and an ungrateful twat and should I just spend the winter reluctantly wearing it and misplace it during the summer?

Best bit is I'd totally have been sorted into Ravenclaw, not Gryffindor. The showy gets.

[pickingdaisies]

Ah well, reminds of the year my DP got me a cafetierre, when I was about a month into going caffeine free. I said, Oh. Thanks. These days I say a bit more, in fact I don't allow unvetted presents any more. HTH 😊

[Quarky]

Don't hurt his feelings. £40 wasted isn't the end of the world. Just wear it once and stash it away somewhere where it'll never see the light of day again.

[HollidayArmadillo]

Unless you want him to take it back then saying something will just hurt his feelings for no reason

Happy Birthday 🎉

[LaurieFairyCake]

I know less than cock all about harrry potter but isn't Griffindoors a burgundy scarf?

Can you not wrap it round ten times and look all cool

I'd go over to the style and beauty section for how to style it :))

[TheMonkeyMummy]

Happy birthday. Pop it in a charity box and don't say anything.

[CarryOnScreamingValenta]

He's tried hard here - a Harry Potter scarf for someone who's a fan says 'making an effort' to me.

As an aside, I've seen women older than you wearing HP scarves and other accessories - if it's just that you think you're too old for it, I wouldn't let that stop you wearing it.

[CarryOnScreamingValenta]

... and happy birthday

[BumsexAtTheBingo]

Return it and get one off eBay for about £3 (I think that’s what I paid for dds Ravenclaw one). Treat yourself with the difference.

[PrincessWire]

I am over 40 and I have a Hufflepuff scarf. You're only not BU because Gryffindor are the worst.

[strawberrypenguin]

I'm mid 30's and wear a Hufflepuff scarf! Lots of people wear Potter stuff. Shame he got your house wrong but I wouldn't let that put me off wearing it!

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Ah well, reminds of the year my DP got me a cafetierre, when I was about a month into going caffeine free. Couldn't you have used it for decaff? Or was this before decaffeinated ground coffee became readily available?

Maybe he'd done his present buying early, and had bought a month before you went caffeine free?

[Anythingforacatslife]

I think you’ll find there are plenty of 30/40 somethings and older wearing HP scarves! Not that you have to but I’m not sure age has anything to do with it.

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

I would say a big thank you blah blah but then in the nicest possible way that you'd like to change it for something else.

[dirtyandscusting]

@PrincessWire I feel like I'd have had a different response if he'd got me hufflepuff or ravenclaw - we had a whole discussion about how actually hufflepuff are the best just last week. It's like he just doesn't listen 

[continuallychargingmyphone]

I’m 38.

No chance would I wear HP stuff. I’m not trying to be offensive but they are childrens books

I’d tell him, OP. Gently, though. And happy birthday

[dirtyandscusting]

Ooh I don't know why but my smiley emoji disappeared! That last post had a smiley

[NoSquirrels]

Ask him if he can swap it for a Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff one. Tell him it's Really Extremely Important.

[DanglyBangly]

Yeah but hufflepuff is a nasty yellow colour isn’t it? Hard to wear.

[Brigante9]

And this is why you always, always send links to exactly what you want. Ever since the dh bought me a stained, used Yoda backpack-so it looks like you’re giving Yoda a piggy back like Luke Skywalker in the film, I have sent him links.

Apparently it would have made me more obvious to students on school trips. I’m almost 6 foot, ginger and fat. How could they miss me?! On top of which, I’m not the Star Wars fan, he is!

[Dobbythesockelf]

He tried to get you something you would like but sadly fell just short of the mark. If you are really bothered about the money you could ask him about changing it.
As an aside I'm 30 and currently wearing my Gryffindor jumper. (Sorry if that makes me showy). It is from Primark though so cost nowhere close to 40 quid. Happy birthday xx

[Crazyfrog007]

Awww bless him. He's clearly tried hard and thought he had nailed it. Not worth the agro of mentioning it IMHO...

If it helps, I love elephants. One Christmas my OP bought me an elephant woolley hat. This one to be exact: www.ebay.com/itm/Knit-Wool-Elephant-Hat-beanie-winter-animal-trunk-face-adult-youth-ear-flap-/151964497255
It was not meant as a joke and he genuinely thought it was the best present ever. I've managed to -lose- store it somewhere ever so safe...

[abbsisspartacus]

Crazy frog 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[itsgoodtobehome]

Well, as someone who NEVER understood the HP appeal, I would be furious at that and probably LTB!!

[pickingdaisies]

Meredint, no sadly, he just hadn't been paying attention, and decaff was rubbish back then. Bit like the Joss stone cd when I asked for Keane. (Sigh)
Op, just ask nicely if he can change it for ravenclaw, it it means you'd actually wear it. (Would you?) Happy birthday anyway

[bringincrazyback]

Happy birthday! You're not being ungrateful, but in my experience, men are shit at buying presents for women without some guidance as to what the recipient wants. One Christmas my DH proudly announced he didn't need any gift suggestions as he'd chosen all my presents himself - I got towels and a book on crafting with cat hair, amongst other delights. I've made sure to equip him with suggestions ever since.