Am I an ungrateful twat?

[dirtyandscusting]

So today it's my birthday. Very Late 30s, kids, serious and stressful job - when I was younger I'd have classed me as a "proper" grown up (ish).

I have very few expectations of my birthday I don't get cards or texts from family etc, and have fewer expectations of my partner we've been together long enough for me to know present buying isn't his forte so this year I suggested no presents and instead we go out, just us two as I've been pregnant and breastfeeding for forever (2 under 2) and don't particularly want or need anything..."no dirtyandscusting, no, no, no. I've pulled it out of the bag this year and reckon I've got you an alright gift" he says.

So, my DP has just given me his present, he's spent nearly £40 on a Gryffindor scarf (Harry Potter merch in case you're unsure).

Now, I love HP and I'm a bit of a geek about it but I do not feel as a nearly 40 year old woman I can wear a fucking gryffindor scarf, furthermore it was nearly £40 and it's not even brilliant quality it's all thin and laughably long - I'm on mat leave at the mo and that is almost 1/10 of my current pay!!! I'd honestly rather he not got me a gift than waste his money on something I'll never wear.

Do I hurt his fragile male ego by telling him it's not something I'd have chosen (or asked for) or AIB completely U and an ungrateful twat and should I just spend the winter reluctantly wearing it and misplace it during the summer?

Best bit is I'd totally have been sorted into Ravenclaw, not Gryffindor. The showy gets.

[maras2]

I feel your pain but don't let it fester.
Tell him now that it was a (shit) inappropriate gift.
42 years ago,2 months after DD was born,for my 30'th birthday, DH thought it would be a good idea to spend nearly a months wages on a gizmo that rubbed away cellulite with a tube of extract of ivy --- twat
I had no fecking cellulite and we were brassic.
So, guess who's still pissed off?
Like I say don't be like me and tell him.
Happy Birthday

[Escolar]

A book on crafting with cat hair?!?!

Gryffindor scarf not looking so bad now, eh OP?

[dirtyandscusting]

Haha I love some of these! I contemplated LTB over the scarf but he makes me a cup of tea most mornings and I'd miss that.
I think I'd wear a ravenclaw one - maroon and gold don't really work for me. He's just popped over to let me know he kept the receipt so I can exchange it for a ravenpuff one.

Crafting with cat hair?! That cannot be real was it from firebox or somewhere?! 

[HB2Me]

35 here and I wear my Gryffindor scarf with pride!

[speakout]

Just ask him to return it for a refund.

[Labradoodliedoodoo]

I would probably book a meal out with friends and give the scarf to someone for xmas

[Mammyloveswine]

Did you at least get to go out???

[Jlynhope]

Don't return it! He's been thoughtful and sweet. Wear it now and then around him.

[BumsexAtTheBingo]

I have to say I wouldn’t wear a HP scarf of any house though - it’s for kids. Sure some adults wear them but then some adults wear Minnie Mouse and Hello Kitty. Not for me!
And £40 on what is basically a novelty gift would annoy me unless we had that kind of money to throw around.

[MumGoneCrazy]

34 and currently sat wearing dobby socks and Gryffindor hoody (from primark) I'd be happy with a Gryffindor scarf

Have you done the pottermore test to find out which house your in? I was sorted into hufflepuff but i still say Gryffindor as I'd prefer that

[tolerable]

happy birthday.! no man ever got shot-for doing the dishes has to apply. get it tied round you in manner of www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/ATnXzF5P1FD4oEhOB0E5m-tgAV6HSo2_XY8I5eMRCQv69N-0hDslWQ0/ and enjoy him not giving a shit where it lands?or tie him to the bed with it and run out with his wallet?

[SwizzelsFizzers]

Just send it back. He probably won't notice.

I bought my SIL crafting with cat hair- we had hours of fun with a few drinks and her cat hair mountain
www.amazon.co.uk/Crafting-Cat-Hair-Cute-Handicrafts/dp/1594745250/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=crafting%20with%20cat%20hair&ie=UTF8&qid=1540321851&sr=8-1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[WomanFormerlyKnownAsKarateGirl]

Crafting with Cat Hair is definitely a real book! Friends bought some other friends that book for Christmas, the same year they bought us Cooking with Coolio

misses point of thread

[DerelictWreck]

Awwww I think he tried really hard here! Maybe not quite your cup of tea but at least he didn't go for generic and basic, he tried to get you something you'd like!

[dirtyandscusting]

@tolerable that's a decent suggestion but it's so piddlingly narrow and long it would cover one boob (barely) and I'd bloody trip over it and do myself a mischief...

[Pursefirst]

YADNBU OP, I would say something.

Agree with DH's in general being completely inept when it comes to gifting. I will never forget the year that DH bought me a fucking Gok Wan Fashion Fix book . Particularly galling as I fancy myself to be quite into fashion, darling. Anyway, ever since fucking Gokgate, he has been given a list of gifts from which he picks one or two. Safer all round.
Oh and happy birthday

[dirtyandscusting]

I acknowledge he's tried hard and FWIW he's a sweetheart and I wouldn't be without him.

If there's something specific I'd like for birthday/Christmas I tell him and he'll get me exactly that. It's just this year I left him to his own devices as I was busy with the kids I should know he's a bit of a loose cannon (though I suggested we go out instead of getting presents in a bid to avoid this situation), I'd honestly have been happy with just a card tbh.

I take all of the posters reminding me he's been thoughtful and I'll wear the scarf. I can't guarantee it'll be put somewhere very safe indeed over the summer but I'll wear it. I'm suitably chastened. Cheers vipers! I'm off to find wine and buy myself a cake.

[YouCanCallMeJodieWho]

I'm of the school of find something you want rather than get a rubbish gift. We've both got it wrong with each other over the years and only learn by being honest, but in a kind way.

Swap it for the Ravenclaw one or discover a 'fault' so you can get a refund.

If I don't want anything particular for Christmas/birthday these days I ask for nice face cream/more expensive make up. At least it's not wasted that way!

[NotUmbongoUnchained]

I have a talk at a university today wearing my Slytherin jumper

[NotUmbongoUnchained]

Gave*

[shakeyourcaboose]

Clearly it should have been Slytherin 🐍 l mean what better house for us vipers?!

[PhilODox]

I don't think he thought at all, either that or he just doesn't know you- he got the wrong house!

[PhilomenaDeathsHeadHawkMoth]

Nearly 40 is not too old for a Gryffindor scarf, although change it for a Ravenclaw one.

[PhilomenaDeathsHeadHawkMoth]

Oh, and happy birthday! 🎁🎂🎈🎊🎉

[SuperstarDJ]

I had to google it. Send it back. And then get one for £5 which is what the majority of them seem to cost.