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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I an ungrateful twat?

112 replies

dirtyandscusting · 23/10/2018 18:58

So today it's my birthday. Very Late 30s, kids, serious and stressful job - when I was younger I'd have classed me as a "proper" grown up (ish).

I have very few expectations of my birthday I don't get cards or texts from family etc, and have fewer expectations of my partner we've been together long enough for me to know present buying isn't his forte so this year I suggested no presents and instead we go out, just us two as I've been pregnant and breastfeeding for forever (2 under 2) and don't particularly want or need anything..."no dirtyandscusting, no, no, no. I've pulled it out of the bag this year and reckon I've got you an alright gift" he says.

So, my DP has just given me his present, he's spent nearly £40 on a Gryffindor scarf (Harry Potter merch in case you're unsure).

Now, I love HP and I'm a bit of a geek about it but I do not feel as a nearly 40 year old woman I can wear a fucking gryffindor scarf, furthermore it was nearly £40 and it's not even brilliant quality it's all thin and laughably long - I'm on mat leave at the mo and that is almost 1/10 of my current pay!!! I'd honestly rather he not got me a gift than waste his money on something I'll never wear.

Do I hurt his fragile male ego by telling him it's not something I'd have chosen (or asked for) or AIB completely U and an ungrateful twat and should I just spend the winter reluctantly wearing it and misplace it during the summer?

Best bit is I'd totally have been sorted into Ravenclaw, not Gryffindor. The showy gets.

OP posts:
ihearttc · 25/10/2018 15:04

Not exactly related to present buying but we went to Orlando earlier in the year and DS2 was desperate for a Gryffindor cloak. We'd been in the shop (the actual cloak shop!) everyday for 10 days trying to get this damn cloak but it was out of stock in his size (they had bigger ones and smaller ones but they looked ridiculous!). DH had been very patient despite having zero interest in HP until the second to last day when we went in again and they still didn't have one and he said quite crossly "seriously DS2 can't you just have one of those green cloaks? why does it have to be a burgandy one?" There was an audible gasp in the shop from all the staff and the customers and then the man behind the counter played his role perfectly and said to DS "I can see we have a Muggle here. I feel so sorry for you. Let me see if I can find you a cloak". DH looked totally bemused and ended up buying the cloak (which had literally come into the shop that afternoon), a tie and a prefects badge plus a wand from the wand shop!!

dirtyandscusting · 25/10/2018 20:33

@ihearttc oh your poor muggle DH! 

OP posts:
flumpybear · 25/10/2018 20:40

Shit presents !!

One year my DH bought me silver dog earrings - I don't like doges but he does !! I can't believe I gave Home another chance!

His gran bought me a duster one year for Christmas, another year two sheep hand soaps and a sheep towel - I was about 25!

I'm still with him 23 years later ... I make a list now Wink

PhilomenaDeathsHeadHawkMoth · 26/10/2018 09:25

I'm sulking because I can't get my new email to sync, so I can't be sorted. Haloween Sad I don't think I really fit into any Hogwarts house.

dirtyandscusting · 27/10/2018 20:22

Forget the accepting the shit gift with good grace he went to subway for lunch when the children were napping and completely got me the wrong food. Like the complete and total opposite of anything I'd usually eat (the fact we very rarely eat from subway is beside the point here).

There is no way back from this, he clearly doesn't know me at all and I must LTB as soon as I can. Probs need to log it with 101 too. And maybe warn 111 just in case I have a heart attack from my barely suppressed rage.

OP posts:
puzzledlady · 27/10/2018 20:27

I would love a scarf from HP! Grin

dirtyandscusting · 27/10/2018 20:30

A scarf from the wrong house though? 

OP posts:
Cuckooclocks · 27/10/2018 20:30

I’m a fan of HP but that is not a good present. I’d rather have a £40 normal scarf. Oh dear.

PhilomenaDeathsHeadHawkMoth · 27/10/2018 20:37

The Subway incident is the last straw. Get your ducks in a row and LTB.

Nanny0gg · 27/10/2018 21:21

How is there 'thought'?

Why all this excusing of the poor dear little men that can't possibly listen to their wives or actually know them well enough to buy them a decent present.

I am aghast.

RB68 · 27/10/2018 21:24

I am wondering if he has been abducted and replaced by an alien...

Wearywithteens · 27/10/2018 22:03

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