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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Can we discuss things with mumsnet

124 replies

Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:10

Mnhq some of your members would like to discuss things that we are not happy with. Can we please have an adult discussion without this thread being deleted?

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hungryhippie · 23/10/2018 12:11

post in "site stuff"
thats where they will answer you

SoupDragon · 23/10/2018 12:12

If you don't rake over details of deleted threads and keep it generic (assuming that's what it is about) then it won't be deleted. Sit stuff is the better place to put it, I agree.

RatUnholyRolyPoly · 23/10/2018 12:13

Site stuff!

What are people unhappy about? I'm curious.

Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:14

I posted here to try and notify the people who were trying to discuss with mnhq things they weren't happy with on a thread just now in Aibu that mnhq deleted

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NerrSnerr · 23/10/2018 12:16

Is this a thread about a thread about a thread?

Sleeplikeasloth · 23/10/2018 12:16

Thank you. I think it should be kept here as it has more traffic, so more input from members.

Sparklingbrook · 23/10/2018 12:17

I believe so Nerr.

RatUnholyRolyPoly · 23/10/2018 12:18

Input about what? What's the issue?

You might want to report your post in order to get MNHQ's attention, or perhaps @MNHQ

NerrSnerr · 23/10/2018 12:19

My input to MNHQ is that obvious troll threads (ones with obvious medical misinformation etc) should be deleted as they are likely to be very distressing for people who have genuinely experienced a similar experience.

florafawna · 23/10/2018 12:20

Their site, their rules.

ilovesooty · 23/10/2018 12:23

Why don't you contact them directly? They're not going to engage in a dialogue on AIBU.

Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:24

Why can we not have something that says how long we have been a member on our posts? This would help people decide whether people may or may not be trolls and whether to invest in a thread @MNHQ

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Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:25

@ilovesooty why not? Surely we can have a group debate with mnhq

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Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:26

I'm only wanting a discussion, there are certain things that bug me and I know other people feel the same, surely mnhq would like to know if it's users are having issues?

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53rdWay · 23/10/2018 12:27

I agree NerrSnerr.

I would also like MN’s feedback on how we/they handle situations like medical/grief trolls.

Hypothetical example: New poster starts thread to say “oh help, my DD has bloaty head syndrome.” Updates frequently, dramatically, photos of DD in hospital bed, builds up big crowd of supporters helping her through tough time.

Now say I have some professional expertise in bloaty head syndrome and I can see that a lot of what she’s saying doesn’t add up. The treatments she mentions are wrong, the hospital she says she’s at doesn’t handle bloaty head cases, the pictures of DD in bed with a head-reducing valve are clearly of a child in North America because we don’t use that kind of head-reducing valve any more.

So what should I do with that information?

If I report it to MN, I know they likely won’t pull the thread, because they give benefit of the doubt where they can.

If I post it on the thread, I’ll get deleted and told off.

If I post it in another thread, it’ll get deleted for being a TAAT.

Meanwhile this poster carries on, reeling in sympathy from upset posters, using photos of what’s probably someone else’s child. Many of those supporters would probably quite like to know if there’s good reason to think she’s bullshitting.

It seems like with current MN policy the answer to “what should I do here?” is “nothing.” Which might just possibly be why this kind of troll finds MN such a welcome audience.

Doyoumind · 23/10/2018 12:27

Surely judging people by how long they've been around would make put any new posters with genuine problems at a severe disadvantage though OP.

TeddyIsaHe · 23/10/2018 12:28

Mumsnet wants new people in, it’s what generates the revenue. If you have something that says how long someone has been here it may put off new posters for fear of not being believed.

The fact is, people are going to troll. About heartbreaking things because it gains the most sympathy/attention. The best thing to do is take every thread you read with a pinch of salt and not get invested.

Sleeplikeasloth · 23/10/2018 12:28

Wouldn't it be helpful to be able to have tangents from threads (a fork?) so that side discussions don't derail a thread?

Oh, and maybe the ability to amend a post shortly after it's put up, because my predictive text is shocking and I usually only realise when it's too late!

When taking down a thread, how lunch evidence to you need before you take action? If it's 50-50, 25-75 etc likely true or false, do you leave it up? Except in extreme situations, can't you just post that you have concerns about whether it is genuine then let us as adults decide how much we engage with it?

Shouldn't your members views on how things should be run, be at least considered?

ilovesooty · 23/10/2018 12:29

They might respond on Site Stuff but I doubt if they'll think AIBU is the place to debate it - just my opinion.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 23/10/2018 12:30

53rd way sums it up perfectly

53rdWay · 23/10/2018 12:30

They can always move the thread to Site Stuff if they really feel it’s better placed there.

ilovesooty · 23/10/2018 12:31

It's my bet that some of the worst trolls are posters who've been here some time who name change to do it.

continuallychargingmyphone · 23/10/2018 12:31

Agree with 53rd.

This is why people end up on other sites. Banning discussion just takes it elsewhere.

Sleeplikeasloth · 23/10/2018 12:32

53rdWay, on a side note, I'm concerned that you think bloaty head syndrome can be cured with a valve, rather than popping and reinflating. I'm now doubting your credentials...

Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:32

@Sleeplikeasloth exactly. So being generic, if a pbp starts a thread, then mnhq remove for being pbp even though they don't believe the thread itself to be false, the poster is then left without advice. If the poster was banned for something minor ages ago then shouldn't they be entitled to advice? And why do mnhq ban people with no warning or communication

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