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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Can we discuss things with mumsnet

124 replies

Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:10

Mnhq some of your members would like to discuss things that we are not happy with. Can we please have an adult discussion without this thread being deleted?

OP posts:
53rdWay · 23/10/2018 12:33

I actually have a Nobel prize in bloaty head syndrome, and I can provide evidence of that if -

oh sorry, must dash, triplets are awake. xxx

SoupDragon · 23/10/2018 12:33

Why can we not have something that says how long we have been a member on our posts? This would help people decide whether people may or may not be trolls and whether to invest in a thread

I use advanced search. It's often illuminating.

BTW, there's no point typing @MNHQ as that tags a user called MNHQ, which I don't think exists. It doesn't set off a klaxon in MN Towers.

continuallychargingmyphone · 23/10/2018 12:34

I do think people should be informed if they have been banned, even if that is just a ‘this account is banned by mn’ when a login attempt is made.

implantsandaDyson · 23/10/2018 12:34

Length of time as a member/number of posts etc being visible in my opinion creates a hierarchy of posters.
How would it work with name changes?
And I agree with ilovesooty I think it's naive to think that trolls be they grief trolls, medical trolls or just full of shit trolls are new posters.

SoupDragon · 23/10/2018 12:35

I would have thought that querying the treatment of Bloaty Head
Syndrome with refer nice to your own expertis but without saying "that's not true you goady troll" would be OK.

NerrSnerr · 23/10/2018 12:36

If the poster was banned for something minor ages ago then shouldn't they be entitled to advice?

Mumsnet isn't some kind of statutory service. It's a private company. There are many other ways of getting advice (and the long medical threads are more about cheerleaders posting flowers than anything of any use).

If someone was in a specific situation they'd probably be better placed looking for support from organisations relevant to their issue. Lots have their own forums with experts who can offer advice.

Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:36

Also why are threads about threads deleted? I can understand if the discussion on a taat is getting heated etc but if people are just generally having a calm discussion then why can't they stay? I don't understand the problem with that

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 23/10/2018 12:37

I think is because you end up rehashing the things that were said on the deleted thread and it continues to give the troll their kicks.

MintRolls · 23/10/2018 12:38

Every dramatic thread with minute by minute updates as a poster packs their husband's bags because he's been shagging the woman stalking you at softplay during the dramatic entrance of premature quintuplets who are called eeny meeny mina mo generates thousands of clicks from cheerleaders, placemarkers, and the morbidly over invested, alongside those who genuinely want to help.

Clicks are good. Ad revenue.

Sparklingbrook · 23/10/2018 12:39

I agree Nerr. MN is not the one and only place anyone can get advice about stuff especially when you need proper medical information.

Theyprobablywill · 23/10/2018 12:40

Really 53rdWay? Really? If you really had a PhD in bloatyHead syndrome. you would know.
1, It isn't a syndrome it's a disorder.
2, It isn't even called bloaty head anymore
3, Most experts believe it doesn't exist.

I'm calling troll!

Btw, triplets, how lovely!

continuallychargingmyphone · 23/10/2018 12:41

I agree there can sometimes be a fine line between people sharing their views and deliberately provocative posts but I don’t think that’s the discussion here.

Yesterday someone cast doubt on a thread posted by someone who’s dh committed suicide and said that they wouldn’t post on mn.

I don’t have a dh but to be honest if I did and they died I am pretty sure I would post on mn. Where else would I get immediate responses? Grief trolls create that horrible suspicion. It’s those and the begging threads I hate most.

Bluntness100 · 23/10/2018 12:41

Gosh you seem to have a lot of issues with the site. Maybe there is a better one for you out there? And this isn't it?

I see none of your points, why is it important to know how long someone is a member? Why penalise new people. And clearly discussing a thread is not on because well it was deleted for a reason so people will just discuss the same thing again. It's just a way to keep discussing it.

If a poster is banned, no they aren't entitled to advice. They will need to go elsewhere. It's not some form of charitable public service.

continuallychargingmyphone · 23/10/2018 12:42

It might not be sparkling but for my part, I don’t use any other websites or forums and so it would be my first port of call.

PawneeParksDept · 23/10/2018 12:44

Loving the Theme Hospital reference, what a 90s throwback Grin

(Bloaty Head is a fictional illness on that game for the unaware)

As to the TAATAAT at hand, I do agree with the OP that a (Member Since : ) would help but I think it would create a Class System whereby newbies were made to feel irrelevant compared to those who’d been here since fields, and also it would make NCing for anonymity easier to cross reference.

Eg This poster I don’t like, or think I might know joined in March 2006, AS all usernames for March 2006 and then compare content, though you’d have to be scary invested to do it, it might be a particular problem for certain groups of posters

Sparklingbrook · 23/10/2018 12:45

If it was something medical my first port of call would be googling the condition to see if there was a website specific to it, not MN.
I wouldn't be using those forums already.

continuallychargingmyphone · 23/10/2018 12:46

Possibly an I’m new ‘badge’ for a couple of months - if someone is genuine it’s a reminder not to be a dickhead because they don’t know what a DS is and if someone isn’t it just gives a little subtle suggestion.

continuallychargingmyphone · 23/10/2018 12:46

Newsflash sparkling, we don’t all do things in the same way Grin

Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:47

I like the site don't get me wrong I've had some great advice from here, but there's certain things that I don't understand why they are the way they are, and when other people were asking the same thing the thread was deleted. I just want to discuss the things that don't sit right with me and let others way in

OP posts:
Aftereights91 · 23/10/2018 12:47

*weigh in

OP posts:
53rdWay · 23/10/2018 12:48

SoupDragon that’s what I’d like MN to clarify. Expect that posting “CHINNY RECKON, you bullshitter” would be out of line. But could I post say “speaking as a bloaty head nurse, I’m confused about why your DD had iocane powder treatment when that hasn’t been used since 1953, and also, why are they treating her at Central Duddingston when bloaty head cases there all get referred to Wope Valley in my experience?”

I think the answer is probably “no you can’t because it’s still trollhunting because you’re implying she’s lying.” But if that’s not the case that would be good for MNHQ to state, because actually posting that on a thread will get you buried under “shut up and stop trollhunting, just report if you can’t be supportive!” responses from the supporters.

continuallychargingmyphone · 23/10/2018 12:49

I’ve had people get upset on the toilet trolls behalf on here Hmm

NerrSnerr · 23/10/2018 12:49

But if you was banned from MN continually that's where you could get other support. The OP was saying that banned people should be entitled to support from Mumsnet and sparkling and myself were saying there's other places out there it can be accessed.

Xenia · 23/10/2018 12:49

I've never found it a big issue. If someone seems to be a liar people will usually politely point that out and usually the person stops posting because they realise they have been rumbled.

On the legal threads (some of use are lawyers) I don't think we have had the same issues as medical ones in that case and people constantly remind posters that they should see a solicitor too rather than rely on an off the cuff view. I don't actually think I've seen someone making something legal up. It probably does not get you the sympathy an invented cancer might.

Sparklingbrook · 23/10/2018 12:50

Don't we continuallychargingmyphone, thanks for letting me know. Not sure it needed a newsflash.