...to not know how to respond to this message...

[WigglyBraddins]

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

Get to fuck ya wanker would be the reply from me

Eh? What is he even trying to say? What a load of offensive, rambling guff. I wouldn't even reply.

‘Oh this is such a relief, I’ve been worried about how to explain the reservations I’ve had about you since we met. This saves us both the embarrassment.’

Ah. He's trying to "neg" you. Badly I might add.
I'd be inclined to respond with an entirely ambiguous "ok". Then cease all communication and block.

I wouldn't reply!! You deserve better then that!!

I have considered your proposal. I chose cake. Laters!

Liking Volfgang’s idea

Play along for a while, copy all your mates in on the fun. Thank him for offering to help you with your problem, admit you’d always hoped you’d find a man who could. Swap recipe ideas, encourage him to set you an exercise regime. Perhaps some daily goals and challenges. Ask for specifics on his preferences- perhaps a different hair colour too? Tooth veneers? A boob job? See how long you can keep it going till he twigs. Then write the story up, and send it to the tabloids.

C’mon, it’s the closest he’s going to get to making a woman happy, do it for us. In fact, do it live on mn and make a million woman happy!

Don't lower yourself by replying.

Just block and move on.

This. Just this.

How DARE he be so unspeakably rude!

Still... if there is a positive, it's that he's shown you what wanker he is at the outset, so you don't waste time, money or effort on him.

I’d answer

I’m a perfectly healthy weight for my height and I have no plans to change that for someone who finds that unattractive.

The fact that you prefer women who are unhealthily slim is I’m afraid a massive red flag for me, there were other issues that I was willing to ignore, but not this one.

Bye.

Then never answer again to tell him what he other issues were, lol

Please post his number on here so we can all enjoy him wanker

Ha! I've had an almost identical text, albeit many years ago. Your liaison dude isn't a postman is he OP?

"Oh I'm so glad you said something because I was meaning to bring up something myself, urgh urgh I hate hurting your feelings but I have to be practical about this, there are literally zero other red flags other than ones in your control anyway... but you are an utter prick, and I'm just not attracted to pricks, if you were willing to meet me halfway on this and learn how not to be an idiotic prick..... (Id still be deleting you and blocking you)"

"bye Felicia"

Then block

Wooooow

Thank you for your comments, I did think you were crap in bed but now you are being so open about things, I feel it only fair to help you along with a few thoughts.
I knew I was dropping my standards with you, as regards looks personality ect, but I had an itch and thought you were slightly better than a DIY job.
I spent most of our date humouring you, in fact I made a game of how many times I could agree with you before you twigged what I was doing, you are very self absorbed..
As too looks well your a low 6. Well I am a 12...
Tell a woman to lose weight, are you telling me you prefer more emasculated types.. And can't handle a real woman, if so I feel really sad for you..
Wishing you luck in finding a date, as Jack says best not to send messages like this to women, they will think your a creep..

Tell him you'll lose weight when he thickens his prick up. Arsehole! Who even says this shit, in what context does that message even begin to be appropriate.

Seriously, take a picture of two heads of lettuce (let's face it, one isn't enough) and say, I'm so glad you gave me the motivation to change my life. This is my lunch. I've a tomato for dessert.
I'd pay to see his response.

He must be a lecturer at the university of Negging.

I'd be tempted to make the bigger cock reply but I'd probably just block and ignore op.

I would message back saying there are some issues around his personality you don't like so you are taking action to drop xx Stone immediately as clearly there is fuck all he can do about that

You’ve got issues kid. It’s a no from me.

“You’re hardly an Adonis yourself love, I’m off to the chippy”

I had great fun with a guy (and guys I was drinking with) when this guy told me there was no point meeting unless I could embrace his cat (I'm allergic). I let the guys I was with take my phone and continue the conversation pretending to be me. As you might imagine, my pussy was mentioned frequently. He was chomping at the bit. Then sent him a photo of me kissing one of the guys. He replied 'No need to be nasty'. Had the best random piss up of my life that day.

Is anyone else secretly hoping this does actually make the tabloids and this arse reads all about himself tomorrow morning?

Ah go on, wind him up. We'll draft the responses for you when he bites.

I'd reply 'you're right, it has soured things. I'm happy the size I am and am not prepared to lose weight to please a selfish shallow man. Thanks for letting me realise what kind of a person you are sooner rather than later'.
Or the one about cake