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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to not know how to respond to this message...

646 replies

WigglyBraddins · 22/10/2018 12:14

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
motortroll · 22/10/2018 12:35

I bet your a stunner, his loss!!

Honeyroar · 22/10/2018 12:35

"Don't worry, I'm not upset, it's just your opinion and I never thought of you as anything more than a fling. Even more so after this message!"

RibbonAurora · 22/10/2018 12:35

There's no adequate response to that, I wouldn't even try. Draw a line under it, block and move on. Sure, you could meet him in the middle and lose some excess weight but he'll never be able to meet you in the middle by losing the excess superficial twattiness. You can do better.

SilentIsla · 22/10/2018 12:36

Alternatively send him this:

thumbs.gfycat.com/PinkMintyChickadee-size_restricted.gif

Volfgang · 22/10/2018 12:36

Or you could play along and pretend you're up for it. Ask him for suggestions. Tell him you won't meet him until you've lost 4 pounds. Let the sad idiot thing he has control of you. Then drop him like a hot snot.

Amber0685 · 22/10/2018 12:36

I am so glad you feel this way as Urgh, I have to be honest. I am really attracted to moderately or well endowed men, at least almost average, I can't help it. I understand nature wasn't exactly kind in this respect and understand if you are hurt by this. I am so sorry I know this issue can really fuck men up, but as I say I can't help what I like. I do wish you luck finding a partner who can accept you ra tiny cock.

Mulberry72 · 22/10/2018 12:37

Fuck off knobhead, is the correct response!

How fucking dare he?!?!

Ikabod · 22/10/2018 12:37

Oh yeah - or...
🤣 whatevs, mate 🤣🤣🤣

stiltonontoast · 22/10/2018 12:37

Another vote for 'fuck off' here.

bionicnemonic · 22/10/2018 12:37

IStandWithPosie Brilliant!

sheldonstwin · 22/10/2018 12:38

Haha! Loving the idea of OP responding with comments about the smallness of his cock. :)

TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 22/10/2018 12:39

“Phew! What a relief, saved me a job”

MaiaRindell · 22/10/2018 12:39

"Urgh, this is horrible for me too. This could also sour things but I won't hate myself for saying. I have to be honest. You are not my normal type either, mentally. I am really attracted no non-shallow people. I can't help it but I like people who look beneath the surface.
I have tried to be with judgemental, narcissistic misogynists before, and not got very far. I completely accept this is a circumstance beyond your control. Sadly, meeting in the middle would still make you a twat. Ugh ugh. I hate men who try to dictate how women will look. This has been a major red flag. I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Remaining in contact with you is not. Urgh urgh."

amusedbush · 22/10/2018 12:39

I am genuinely embarrassed for him - what a tosser!

"Phew, thank god you broke the ice first! I've been meaning to tell you for days that I think you're an arrogant prick with a tiny knob but I didn't want to sour things. Urgh urgh."

gamerchick · 22/10/2018 12:40

Hard to know how to respond to that when you've given us zero details about him apart from how he thinks about woman.

So if you want to reply, tell him you're slightly relieved as it means you don't have to address what put you off. Then leave him wondering.

BonfiresOfInsanity · 22/10/2018 12:40

I like SaucyJacks response best - 'I choose cake' Grin

Boomchicawowow · 22/10/2018 12:40

“That’s fine, happy to hear there were no other red flags apart from my weight. Unfortunately, there are many red flags for me now after receiving your text message. Glad you were honest, saves lots of wasted time for us both. I suggest in future you perhaps NOT have sex with women you deem “too big”. It’s a bit psychopathic. Therefore I don’t wish to hear from you again”.

Ikabod · 22/10/2018 12:40

Let us know what happens won't you @WigglyBraddins

Quartz2208 · 22/10/2018 12:41

Just say fine anything more is rising to the bait

ThisIsWhatItSoundsLike · 22/10/2018 12:41

Message back asking "sorry which one were you again?"
Then block and delete and move on, taking just a little of his pride with you GrinGrin

Juells · 22/10/2018 12:42

StoorieHoose
ignore me I'm getting mixed up with this article

Gosh, I only read the first few paragraphs of her response but I cringed. Why would you let a bastard like that know that you'd burst into tears when you read his message? That's what he wanted. Better to just block and ignore.

MawkishTwaddle · 22/10/2018 12:42

'I started reading your message but I got bored before the end. Bit like that awful shag we had. That was you, wasn't it? Anyway. All the best.'

LeticiaDejeuner · 22/10/2018 12:42

A draw between

“oh, you thought I wanted to see you again?”

and

I chose cake.

itswinetime · 22/10/2018 12:42

in the interest of finding out how much of a prick this guy is fancy research exactly what he means by 'slim'. Is he prepared to give a target weight or measurements? Id be tempted to go down the super keen rout and see how far you can get him to reveal his aresholeness

Seriously though If people think they have seen similar before don't text anything as he is obviously trying to get some kind of reaction.

TeachesOfPeaches · 22/10/2018 12:43

Shock wtf is urgh urgh