Active discussions

Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to not know how to respond to this message...

646 replies

WigglyBraddins · 22/10/2018 12:14

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
mrst3 · 23/10/2018 18:56

StoorieHoose I was thinking same sounds just like that article

IamAporcupine · 23/10/2018 18:59

Please stop with the 'small size penis' replies. As a PP said, men know if they have a small/average/large penis, so (unless he actually does have a small one) it will not have any effect on him, and you will only look desperate to upset him.

Just ignore, ignore, ignore

Putthekettleonplease · 23/10/2018 19:00

Your an idiot. Fuck off.
Ps. Your ugly.

browneyes77 · 23/10/2018 19:00

I’m crying at some of the responses on here GrinGrinGrin

This one was a goodun though:

‘I’ve actually just found an incredible way to shed 13 stone.. BYEEEEE’

TheLastNigel · 23/10/2018 19:02

Deadbudgie has it with the cake/small penis reply.
Or else ask how he intends to meet you in the middle as you weren't aware they'd invented a penis enlarging device that actually worked?

BlueSuffragette · 23/10/2018 19:03

Try, 'hey at least I can lose weight, however you'll always be fuckin ugly and useless in bed'.

AlphaBravo · 23/10/2018 19:06

@IamAporcupine some men really don't, and those that have an average to bigger cock then start to worry theirs might be smaller than they first thought. It has the same effect as telling a girl/woman she's fat or chunky, even if she's not. The doubt creeps in ;)

aroundnabout · 23/10/2018 19:29

Just ignore he's trying to upset you and get a reaction from you. If you ignore he may even wonder if you ever got his message. He will be waiting for a response, don't give it to him.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 23/10/2018 19:29

What A Twat. You did the right thing. I would have replied ‘You lost me at Urgh’. Irrespective of the ‘content’ of his message, I could see/fuck someone who wrote like that. Mind you, appears it was a copy and paste anyway. Fuckwit.

SchadenfreudeUndeadified · 23/10/2018 19:36

PUA - Pissed Up Arsehole

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 23/10/2018 19:36

Why do people think body shaming is an appropriate way to respond to someone body shaming?
I think taking the piss out of someone for having a small penis is despicable. Even if they are a shitbag.

Fightthebear · 23/10/2018 19:44

Actually I agree with you ihaven’t.

PLENTY of other put downs available here without resorting to body shaming, which is outside someone’s control. Being a shitbag isn’t.

Wow2806 · 23/10/2018 19:46

Tell him you was using him for sex.. And you felt awkward broaching subject that you had to fake it.. So I kinda have no need to revisit you. My rabbit is sooo much better .. ( to far)

honeysucklejasmine · 23/10/2018 19:46

I'm a bit Hmm at all the posters troll hunting because you once read an article about a body shaming wanker in the past. Because of course, there's only one of them.

There's even a "it's your fault, you must have been too pushy" theory. Christ alive.

OP is a very long standing poster and a personal friend who received this message quite unexpectedly. She is, as others have said, an absolute stunner. I think it's definitely a case of negging, and I'm furious on her behalf.

tildaMa · 23/10/2018 19:55

I'd have a hard time choosing between
"cool story bro"
"lol"
and
"no worries Pete, all the best in the future" (unless his name IS Pete, than some other random name).

But most likely would just block without answering.

ShineOnHarvestMoon · 23/10/2018 19:55

Don't dignify the twat with an answer.

Although this
Or else ask how he intends to meet you in the middle as you weren't aware they'd invented a penis enlarging device that actually worked?

is great!

Boobsarenotloadbearing · 23/10/2018 20:00

I agree with FadedRed. Reply exactly what her wrote to you word for word but asking him to gain more penis. Then block the wanker

Boobsarenotloadbearing · 23/10/2018 20:00

Damn auto correct:

*he wrote

Original poster
WigglyBraddins · 23/10/2018 20:06

@neekeem That’s just terrible! Who would ever say that!?

@Mumoflil1 My pics are flattering but undoctored. This was date 2. Date 1 had been sober, and in daylight!

The penis responses have made me laugh a lot, but I wouldn’t/didn’t fight body shaming with body shaming in the end.

OP posts:
vdlc · 23/10/2018 20:06

Reply with just a selfie eating A MASSIVE CAKE. Cake

AhhhhThatsBass · 23/10/2018 20:06

That’s a ‘no’ from me.
Urgh. Urgh.

jane251 · 23/10/2018 20:06

Don't reply, say nothing.Don't even dignify it with a response.Don't go there.
Find someone who loves you for yourself. Perhaps you are feeling lonely at the moment, but ask yourself the question, if you met somebody who was exactly like this guy but without all these demands, would you even be thinking about this jerk?

Wildheartsease · 23/10/2018 20:09

Thank-you so much for your frankness. I am no expert on the female form, so it is great to have guidance on my size.

As you realise, I always defer to the men in my life when faced with difficulties, so I showed your mail to my three brothers. They dropped in here to get their washing done after rugby tonight.

Anyway it seems that they all have strong feelings about re-shaping bodies and are hoping to bump into you to discuss this soon.

Do look out for them. They are easy to recognise as they are very like me - all a bit over-sized.

jane251 · 23/10/2018 20:09

Message strangely strangled in sending-what I wrote was actually "Don't dignify it with a response, Don't go there"...

OrangeSunsets · 23/10/2018 20:11

I have absolutely seen this thread before! I reckon you have met the same man! So completely de ja vu!

Tell him you are glad he said that as his penis is way too small to satisfy you then tell him you don't Expect him to change but if he wanted to Wink then send links to penis extensions.