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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to not know how to respond to this message...

646 replies

WigglyBraddins · 22/10/2018 12:14

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
Emmanal · 23/10/2018 17:23

Tell him what you think of him.

You are MUCH better off without him in your life

Lala2018 · 23/10/2018 17:29

He sounds crazy. Lucky escape, I wouldn't even reply.

exaltedwombat · 23/10/2018 17:30

What physical characteristics doYOU find attractive in a man? Are you going to lie and pretend it doesn't matter? He didn't say 'Sod off, fatso'. He had feelings and tried to be honest about them.

MsLexic · 23/10/2018 17:32

'I must say, in response, I think it is fair to say (urgh) that you are not altogether my type either although I was willing to try and make an effort because I know it must be a bit hard for you for various reasons. I know this will come as a surprise if no one has ever mentioned it before, but I found the chemical thing a bit incompatible. I am sure you wash and everything, and its just me, probably. I know I am a bit picky about such things, I did wonder if maybe you had an infection or something. Hope you didn't, or if you did, you get it sorted. (urgh). Also hope I didn't catch it lololol urgh '

Cali13 · 23/10/2018 17:33

Literally wtf ???? This is disgusting . I'd not even reply to that.!! What a c u n t

manicmij · 23/10/2018 17:33

Would respond along the lines that you understand about his having a thing with anyone not his usual choice of shape. Also you accept folk do have "a thing" about lots of strange subjects your "thing" being men like him. Jumped up idiot!

GreensAreGoodForYou · 23/10/2018 17:33

Love the idea of sending the same message back but making it all about changing his penis size. Brilliant.

IrisTs · 23/10/2018 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Deadbudgie · 23/10/2018 17:35

I love the idea of the picture of you with a piece of cake and thumbs up - maybe add in text “small penis or cake? Small penis or cake?.....cake😂” or just reply “thank god you got in Touch I had lost your number, you need to urgently book an appointment at. Inc local std clinics number” or “well I’m about to get even fatter... it looks like the contraception failed - you’re going to be a daddy”

MumW · 23/10/2018 17:36

"Are you for real? I'm Five foot nine and a healthy size 12 - suggest you go to specsavers!"
Wink

SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst · 23/10/2018 17:38

I've definitely seen this one before too

Clockgoneyellow · 23/10/2018 17:39

Lord alive, what a complete and utter bellend. I am a man and I am incredibly embarrassed by this absolute penis. What the hell is the 'urgh, urgh' all about - sounds like he's wanking whilst typing. Please don't waste a moment on this person.

urkidding · 23/10/2018 17:39

What about a list list with all the things which will make him nervous at his next date: 'These are the things you need to be aware of in future relationships because it is very off-putting for other women who may not be as open-minded

  1. Too much nose-hair, ear hair, back hair
  2. Chomping noises when eating. Gulping food down making a strange noise...
  3. High pitched, braying laugh
  4. Receding hair, wrong haircut for a man of his age'
AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 23/10/2018 17:40

What a creepy message. CTB!

C0untDucku1a · 23/10/2018 17:42

clock urgh Shock. Did not need that imagery.

Denarys04 · 23/10/2018 17:44

I've always wanted to say this and this is the perfect time FUBAR lol. Don't give this guy a second thought. If he doesn't want a totally romantic evening with a real woman snuggling on the sofa eating pizza a drinking beer then leave him to find someone as shallow as he is. My guess is karma is coming and he will get a message like that someday.
Don't reply don't even think about it. You deserve better

Fwaltz · 23/10/2018 17:47

Do you know where he works? I would email this to his boss (hopefully a woman!) and see if they have any policies about bringing the company into disrepute.
Be sure to highlight the few journalists from the Daily Mail that you have cc’d on the email too, and attach some very flattering pictures of you, and if you have any, some terrible pictures of him. He’ll get the slagging of his life in the papers and lose his job. Win win.

notarealgirl · 23/10/2018 17:47

I’d reply...”who is this?” and block.

jade19 · 23/10/2018 17:49

Ignore the message. At the moment he is waiting for you to reply and tell him it's all ok for him to be an arsewhole.
Everyone knows silence from a woman is never a good thing.
I honestly hope this hasn't made you question how you feel about yourself! Some people seem to have this feel that they have the right to say what they like to people.
This issue is him not You! He could have simply said "hey, look things are really working out for me. It's nothing personal. I hope we can be friends!"
Angry

KatKit16 · 23/10/2018 17:51

How about 'I lost the will to live reading your message. I'm off to eat cake and suck the cock of another larger endowed, non-judgemental man who loves my body. I might even let him cum on my tits'

Missingstreetlife · 23/10/2018 17:51

Wanker, block him, no reply, delete his number, wanker

Tessabelle1 · 23/10/2018 17:52

How about we suck the fat out of my belly and put it in your penis then we'll both be satisfied?
Then block him

AtomicSquirrel · 23/10/2018 17:52

Message back saying thank god he messaged you with his concerns because you were having a few of your own namely his lack of personality and his big nose, lol.

neekeem · 23/10/2018 17:55

I actually had a guy tell me ‘hmm I don’t normally go for bigger girls but I’m glad I did’ WHILE HE WAS INSIDE ME.