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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to not know how to respond to this message...

646 replies

WigglyBraddins · 22/10/2018 12:14

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
LuckyAmy1986 · 22/10/2018 16:40

I wouldn’t reply anything.

Lweji · 22/10/2018 16:41

Don't reply, or tell him to FOTTFSOFATFOSM, or ask him who was this for, or ask him if he's on glue, or send him a photo of a Biscuit.

They all seem appropriate to me, so I'd pick one at random.

WigglyBraddins · 22/10/2018 16:41

I ate cake while deleting the thread and blocking him.

What’s this MRA thing? Or should I not ask as it’s scary. I’m so naive!

OP posts:
HisBetterHalf · 22/10/2018 16:42

Tell him you will change when/if you want to but he will always have an ugly personality CF

Solenti · 22/10/2018 16:43

Well done. Let him stew.

itswinetime · 22/10/2018 16:45

perfect response! i bet the cake was more satisfying than he was Wink

drspouse · 22/10/2018 16:47

Men's Rights Activists - yes it is a bit scary.

Isitweekendyet · 22/10/2018 16:49

‘I don’t understand what you’re trying to say?’
... let him dig the hole further.
‘I thought that’s what you meant. Just lol’

YellowStickies · 22/10/2018 16:50

Well done OP!

Unfinishedkitchen · 22/10/2018 16:51

You did the right thing by not responding. He wants you to feel bad and then run after him. Typical Pick Up Artist (PUA) move. They believe that if they put you down, you will run after them to try and get them to like you then they’ve got you. Well done for not falling for it. He has massive issues, run away and don’t look back.

letmepeeinpeace · 22/10/2018 16:52

Say 'oh that's ok, your dick was too small anyway'!

IamDrWho · 22/10/2018 16:53

No response

PumpkinSpiceAmericanoNoSugar · 22/10/2018 16:53

Good for you OP. What type of cake was it? I feel we're not getting the full story without knowing the cake flavour.

Jamiefraserskilt · 22/10/2018 16:58

So he had a thing with a curvy bird who will do for now until some Twiget comes along.
Wow
You could text back and say you are attracted to brad pitt lookalikes but don't want it to be a thing...just saying so expectations are not set too high and all that.
The use of the word URGH would be enough for me to tell him to ftho

Huskylover1 · 22/10/2018 17:00

Hi Tom,
That was a very long and rambling text, which I don't really understand, and I'm afraid that I don't have the time to try to read between the lines. I think you might be suggesting, that I might want to lose weight for you? I'm afraid that I wouldn't ditch my curves for any man, not even a serious boyfriend, let alone a one night stand. Last Tuesday was just meant to be a bit of fun and sex, and I'm sorry that you have been over-thinking about it all.
Take care, Wiggly.

alligatorsmile · 22/10/2018 17:10

Husky's response is my fave so far.

chocolatebox1 · 22/10/2018 17:23

I like @Huskylover1 response - that's very good and makes it look like he was a fool for overthinking the whole thing. It really puts him in his place, which he deserves after the way he's spoken to OP

VictoriaBun · 22/10/2018 17:24

Wow, thank you for being so frank- I appreciate your honesty. I am beyond grateful that you have spilled your true personality and feelings. It allows me to do the same. My dear you were truly the worse shag/fuck I have ever experienced. I'm glad my acting abilities made you have the impression you were a llove-God who has the pick of the crop, but sadly you are rather a poor specimen of what a real man is. So sweetie ,go back to your Barbie dolls and God help you both. Me I prefer to go back to seeing a real man who has respect for a woman. Kind regards.

Fightthebear · 22/10/2018 17:26

How about:

“No, there are literally many other red flags.

Best of luck to you.”

Patronising and unconcerned.

CandleWithHair · 22/10/2018 17:27

@wigglybraddins was he a doctor by any chance? He sounds verrrrry familiar.

Confusedbeetle · 22/10/2018 17:28

No reply, ever. Dont waste your time

PumpkinSpiceAmericanoNoSugar · 22/10/2018 17:30

So he wanted a woman who found him so attractive that she would be prepared to change her shape for him, but wiggly didn't even find him attractive enough to put down her cake in order to type a response to him. Grin

Fightthebear · 22/10/2018 17:39

Sorry - missed your update OP. Well done, especially on that cake 🍰

ZenNudist · 22/10/2018 17:44

Was he really good looking? And slim/fit?

ConcreteUnderpants · 22/10/2018 17:50

I like SaucyJack's response:

“I choose cake. Bye”

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