...to not know how to respond to this message...

[WigglyBraddins]

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

I am really tempted to send him a link to this thread. Your responses are amazing. I'm going to totally amalgamate them and report back.

You might as well burst into tears and throw yourself at his feet.

Just ignore the prick. He's trying to get a reaction from you.

Don't gift it to him.

Placemarking as I want to know what you say back to him!! What an utter prick

Is 'did you mean to be so rude or does it just come naturally?' An appropriate response here? Or perhaps 'are you on glue?'
What a weirdo!

If you do send some of these suggestions don't cut and paste. It will have less impact if sent with spelling mistakes.

Joey it doesn’t matter if he’s hung like a horse. All men are instantly paranoid that there is a bigger penis than theirs out there and that theirs is inadequate.

Actually, ignoring, or a very short response to indicate you're not bothered by him looks the best bet.

The more you write back to him, the more you show him you've risen to the bait.

Take a picture of yourself with a big fat fuck off piece of cake and send it to him with 'nah don't think so, bye'.

Then enjoy.

"Speaking of meeting halfway and in the name of being honest and upfront... your dick is so small it didnt even reach halfway.
Anyway I have decided that I would rather eat a good sponge than put up with your poor attempt at sex. After all I don't have to pretend to enjoy cuddling a sweaty cake after I've eaten it"

Can't wait to see your reply.
Go for it!
What a fucking cock he is.

I wouldn’t reply. It will definitely sting him more.

One of the most cutting replies to an online insult was a simple

wow

No capital letter. No exclamation mark or other punctuation. You could feel the icy disdain through that one word. It was ace.

That sounds so enormously much like the weird ramblings one of my ex bosses used to send his dates twenty years ago! We used to hack his email and read the utter shite he used to tell dates about himself, and howl laughing. Man, he was such a bellend. If your date was a really short guy called Ian (can't recall how he spelled that) in Leeds, that's our man.
Because obvs there can only be one guy that is THIS much of a nobber. God, I'm sad there are probably millions like this. What a total twerp.

Another vote for

Bye Felicia

All men are instantly paranoid that there is a bigger penis than theirs out there and that theirs is inadequate

They really aren’t. The average man will have been in enough communal change rooms and showers during his life to know how he measures up.

Unless he really does have a small willy, sending such a message back will be just the sort of response he’s after as it’ll show his message has had its intended effect.

Also, anyone ever checked out byefelipe on instagram? Stuff to make you shudder!

"I'm not sure why you've used so many words to tell me I'm not your type and you'd prefer me to look slimmer. At least that's how I've interpreted your message. Please can you be a bit more specific and to the point as I'm not sure a one off shag is worth repeating with someone so outrageously rude! Good luck in finding the right woman, you're definitely not the one for me"

Or just fuck off!

What a cock, I'd definitely reply and call him out on his shitty behaviour.

We used to hack his email and read the utter shite he used to tell dates about himself, and howl laughing

Really? Despite what you may have thought about your ex boss, this is disgraceful behaviour and not something to brag about.

I would never ever reply. I am above that. Good to get his views out in the open though so you do not have to waste another moment of yourself.

Delete him. Block him. Do not reply. Do not get drawn in. We are all worth far more than that maggot.

I'd honestly just delete and block. He doesn't get to decide what is a red flag for you! Apart from all the other shit.

I think a simple "lol" is always a good one.

I got a guy message me on OLD one time with a message a bit like that - I replied "ooh, are we negging, can I play? You look like [insert something insulting but relevant to him]".

Funnily enough, I didn't have to block him, he blocked me.

"Oh dear, does this approach normally work for you? Urgh. P.S. don't believe everything the red pillers tell you on Reddit. Urgh."

“Are you on glue?” definitely made me LOL!

Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did

It did.

So hate yourself.

Second thoughts - go fuck yourself, because no other mug will.