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Original poster

Baby and mum has flu

132 replies

Stars1979 · 21/10/2018 14:01

I have flu, do feel marginally better today in that I don’t want to die but getting up out of bed makes me really dizzy and I’ll. I have no energy or strength and can’t eat much. Stupidly being in bed so much has aggravated my back which is making me feel worse.

I have an energetic 8 month old. Husband has done all the caring since Friday and been so good. Baby went back to sleep at 7am after a feed this morning after waking at 5 so I looked after her for a hour. So my husband could catch upon sleep. It was so hard and I was sweating from fever. He now wants to meet his brother for a coffee and asked me take over so he can go. He is asking me this as I’m lying inbed. I said I really didn’t have the energy and maybe he could take baby with him. He said you could look after her for an hour and a half and walked off. This made me cry as I want to be with my baby but I don’t even have the energy to get up and pee. I understand he probably wants a break but I’m still trying to get better so I can look after her tomorrow when he goes to work. I’m really sad, it’s one weekend, his brother could even come here if he wanted, I’m in bed so he won’t get my germs. I think he just wants to go for a coffee and that’s it.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 21/10/2018 15:24

Glad he changed his mind and took the baby.

Ignore the single parent posts, I am a single parent but I still think your dh was being unreasonable to leave the baby with you, sounds like he realised that too and changed his mind. I cope on my own but because I have too, you don’t have too and I would have felt the same if I had a dh/dp.

Hope you feel better soon.

OneStepSideways · 21/10/2018 15:24

He was being ridiculous and very selfish. Why can't he take the baby with him? You're ill and need to rest.

When I had flu with a 7 month old my DH did everything until I felt up to it, including nursery runs and nights.

GreenLantern53 · 21/10/2018 15:25

thanks well atleast someone agrees with me. I had a 6 week old baby and 3 other children under 8 to look after. and i had horrific d&v as did the older 3 (luckily baby was fine) i got on with it because thats what you do. I never once considered sticking my children in foster care, that comment got my back up abit as a lp we just get on with it we dont put our children into foster care.

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 15:27

grewnlantern D&V is completely different to flu.

Who suggested sticking kids in foster care BTW?

diddl · 21/10/2018 15:27

" I know his brother will be delighted to see baby anyway."

Well yes, there's that aspect to it too!

" I just managed, because I had to. "

But Op doesn't have to so shouldn't have to!

Why would a parent, who feels perfectly well, leave a child with the parent who doesn't when it isn't necessary?

Glad he saw sense Op & hope that you get some rest & are feeling better soon.

Original poster
Stars1979 · 21/10/2018 15:27

I understand GreenLantern and I don’t know how you do it but you do it because you have to but I’m sure if there was someone you loved and trusted with your lo and loved you too that they would step up and help.

OP posts:
nicenewdusters · 21/10/2018 15:31

And wouldn't it have been so much better Green Lantern if you'd had somebody to help, like the OP does. But you didn't, which was crap for you. So you "got on with it". She has the option not to HAVE to get on with it, which is one of the supposed benefits of being in a couple with your children's father.

You had no support, she does, but her support was not there as she could rightfully expect it to be. Why would you begrudge somebody something just because you didn't have it ?

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 21/10/2018 15:31

Poor you, you needed more support than that. Very selfish of your husband. Is there anyone else you could call? Most people would love to come and look after a baby and want to help you out too. X

nicenewdusters · 21/10/2018 15:35

I'm sure Green Lantern could come over and help ? She's only been up since 4 am working on the Brexit deal, re-tiling her bathroom and hosting a birthday party for 25 six year olds. But hey, that's what we lone parents do, so crack on.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 21/10/2018 15:35

It was told to me by GP - the diagnoses of flu...somebody puts a free £50 note on the floor in front of you and you simply don't have the strength to get it

Hmm Every time someone mentions the flu on MN someone has to trot out this tedious nonsense. What a load of bollocks.

Glad your DH saw sense OP.

havingabadhairday · 21/10/2018 15:42

FGS. I had flu last year. I could have picked £50 up of the floor, but only if it was there in the 10-15minute window every six hours when I got up to have a drink, take more paracetamol and maybe eat a small amount before collapsing back into bed and waiting for the hour and a half where the paracetamol was having an effect so I could sleep.

Luckily DH and my DPs took over with DS so I didn't have to worry about anything. Worst bit of the flu only lasted about five days but it took about two months for me to feel well again.

TenForward82 · 21/10/2018 16:12

@nicenewdusters 😂

MamaLovesMango · 21/10/2018 16:41

I hope you’ve got lots and lots of shiny medals to keep you company on top of that very high horse GreenLantern.

As for the £50 analogy, I definitely could’ve picked it up after the first couple of days. I see flu patients that could too but it doesn’t mean they could do anything else. Any GP that has said that is talking utter crap.

Willow789 · 21/10/2018 17:25

@nicenewdusters hahahahahahh

alifromtheforest · 21/10/2018 18:27

I'm yet another one who had flu at the same time as my four year old. It was hell. Horrendous. I don't ever remember 7 days as bad as those ones. The only saving grace was that she was as ill as I was and obviously a little bit older so it wasn't as bad as looking after a baby. I do remember crawling into her room as she was vomiting and being unable to get to the bed to help her.

Needless to say, we all get the flu jab each year!

Op - I hope you feel better soon and frankly, I think your DH should be taking time off work to help you. Easier said than done, though.

alifromtheforest · 21/10/2018 18:30

Oh and I mean 7 days as the peak of the illness. It took us a good couple of weeks after that to recover.

Howhot · 21/10/2018 18:44

Greenlantern, you realise flu is one of this countries biggest killers? People die from flu every day. Stop being a dick. It's nothing like D&V.

Hope your ok OP, glad your OH decided to take baby with him.

Rebecca36 · 21/10/2018 19:00

I'm glad your partner saw sense and took your little one out, op.
Hopefully tomorrow will bring further improvement but if you do feel a bit better, don't overdo it. It takes time to get over the 'flu.

VioletCharlotte · 21/10/2018 19:15

I'm glad he decided to take the baby with him. Flu (and it sounds like you have proper flu, rather than a bad cold) is horrible. I had it last year and there's no way I could have coped with looking after a baby. I hope you feel better soon, get plenty of rest and lots of fluids 

Branleuse · 21/10/2018 19:48

Fucks sake . Its a bit different HAVING to do it tommorow because someone has to work and doing it today because someone fancies a child free coffee where they could reasonably take the child. Wtf

Iseveryusernametaken · 21/10/2018 20:08

This reply has been deleted

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HeyThoughIWalk · 22/10/2018 09:16

How are you today, OP? Hope you got some rest and feel a bit better!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 22/10/2018 09:32

Glad your DH sorted himself out yesterday OP, hope you're feeling a bit better today.

I can't fathom women out that hark on about how they crack on when they're ill being single. Surely they have no choice but to do so and it must be extremely hard on them and their dc, but if a woman does have a partner why would anyone begrudge her having some respite when she's so poorly?

sonandhelpneeded · 22/10/2018 09:39

The people say what would you do if you were a lone parent, that's irrelevant because OP isn't!

The point in question is that her OH can and should take the baby, it's a coffee, what's the big deal?

OP will hopefully get better faster with proper rest.

Fairylea · 22/10/2018 09:42

Op I hope you’re feeling better today. Your dh was very unkind. I think if my dh was that unwell I would have stayed home to care for him or at least have made sure the dc were well away from him.

I have been a single parent for 14 years (before I met now dh) and yes there have been some awful times when I’ve just had to get on with things because there’s no other option- I’ve got health problems anyway and once I had such severe tonsillitis that I ended up with black infected tonsils and felt so unwell I thought I was going to die (I ended up in hospital with quinsy that particular time). That was dreadful and dd was 6 months old at that time.

But - this is not about that. This is about being kind and caring for someone you’re supposed to love and be married to. Being married is about being there for someone so they don’t have to struggle as if they were alone. He was very unreasonable.