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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby and mum has flu

132 replies

Stars1979 · 21/10/2018 14:01

I have flu, do feel marginally better today in that I don’t want to die but getting up out of bed makes me really dizzy and I’ll. I have no energy or strength and can’t eat much. Stupidly being in bed so much has aggravated my back which is making me feel worse.

I have an energetic 8 month old. Husband has done all the caring since Friday and been so good. Baby went back to sleep at 7am after a feed this morning after waking at 5 so I looked after her for a hour. So my husband could catch upon sleep. It was so hard and I was sweating from fever. He now wants to meet his brother for a coffee and asked me take over so he can go. He is asking me this as I’m lying inbed. I said I really didn’t have the energy and maybe he could take baby with him. He said you could look after her for an hour and a half and walked off. This made me cry as I want to be with my baby but I don’t even have the energy to get up and pee. I understand he probably wants a break but I’m still trying to get better so I can look after her tomorrow when he goes to work. I’m really sad, it’s one weekend, his brother could even come here if he wanted, I’m in bed so he won’t get my germs. I think he just wants to go for a coffee and that’s it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stars1979 · 21/10/2018 14:23

Yes that’s his view, I can deal for an hour an half. This morning I did that I was conscious of him catching up on some sleep but I really struggled.

OP posts:
BertramKibbler · 21/10/2018 14:23

Round of applause for Nona’s DH Halloween Hmm

OP I’m sorry your DH is being thoughtless. Flowers

Laserbird16 · 21/10/2018 14:24

DH is being unreasonable. He can take the baby with him or his brother can come over. You're not well. If he needs a break he can ask his brother to take the baby for a walk.

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2018 14:26

Why the sarcastic 'round of applause' for Nona's DH? Confused

Most DH's would do the same? Confused

MamaLovesMango · 21/10/2018 14:27

I had flu when my first was a very small child. I definitely couldn’t have looked after her for an hour and a half. DH had to get a couple of days off work because I couldnt even look after myself. For a real case of flu, I think that’s pretty standard.

My sister is a lone parent, if she contracted flu she’d need to contact someone for help. That’s what a lone parent would do but OP isn’t a lone parent and shit happens. I wonder if her DP would just have to get on with it if the shoe was on the other foot....

LouisaRossini · 21/10/2018 14:28

GreenLantern - I've noticed your comments on many threads which are just so unhelpful and nasty. Why even bother to comment?

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 14:28

I don’t get the sarcasm for Nona’s h. That’s what most people would do when their partner is ill.

Willow789 · 21/10/2018 14:29

Ignore greenlantern, they're angry at anybody who isn't a lone parent.

YANBU, he should either take the baby or stay at home. You're poorly, you need rest 

IzzyGrey · 21/10/2018 14:30

He's being an absolute arse. I feel furious on your behalf! How unbelievably selfish!

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 14:30

I had flu earlier this year and couldn’t look after the kids for a good week or so, it was up to h or childminder to look after them. Even when I did feel better it was all I could do to throw some food in their direction.

I have never felt an illness like it, it’s sucks.

Op, I hope you turn the corner soon.

GreenLantern53 · 21/10/2018 14:31

many? your referring to ONE other thread. im just genuinely gobsmacked how much people seem to struggle looking after their own kids that they need their partner with them every second of the day.

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 14:31

She didn’t need her partner every minute of the day. She has flu and an 8 month old!!

Chesterfieldsofa · 21/10/2018 14:32

because the parent has a bit of flu. when I had the flu, not your patronising bitch shit bit of flu, I couldn't care for myself let alone a baby - I had the wonderful choice of movement or bladder control, so when I needed the loo had to pee on towels at the side of the bed. Didn't have the strength to squat over a bucket, and ended up dehydrated because I couldn't drink.

DH (because she's not a single parent Hmm) should've taken the baby with him, not ducked out of his limited responsibilities.

GreenLantern53 · 21/10/2018 14:32

im not angry at all. ive been a LP for years managed to not have to put my children in foster care though when im sick Hmm, and thats without family support aswell.

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2018 14:34

You do seem to mention being a 'lone parent' a lot though GreenLantern.

It's almost as though you're bitter about those who aren't.

LouisaRossini · 21/10/2018 14:34

GreenLantern. No - many threads not ONE. Don't bother responding, you are clearly very immature and have the intellect of a gnat

GreenLantern53 · 21/10/2018 14:34

You would get on with it if you were alone. my mum was a LP all my life, I was never once placed in foster care or with anyone else for that matter. yeh foster carers are inundated with kids of sick lone parents.

Nicknacky · 21/10/2018 14:35

Oh good for you greenlantern aren’t you just the best parent ever.

I can honestly say that if I had been a lone parent with no support when I had flu then the health visitor or ss would have been contacted by me for help. I couldn’t care for myself never mind my kids when I had flu.

WorraLiberty · 21/10/2018 14:36

Why are you still wittering on about lone parents GreenLantern, when the OP clearly isn't one?

Why not start your own thread, asking if anyone will give you a medal or a gold star?

TenForward82 · 21/10/2018 14:36

@greenlantern53 for a busy lone parent juggling 4 kids you have a lot of time to be bitter and nasty on mumsnet. Maybe find something more productive to do?

LeftRightCentre · 21/10/2018 14:36

Gawd, what an arse. It's one weekend!

GreenLantern53 · 21/10/2018 14:37

and the op is apparently so sick yet on MN...
ok then...

Original poster
Stars1979 · 21/10/2018 14:37

That’s a sweeping generalisation there..GreenLantern...um my husband works 6am to 6pm and I’m maternity leave which makes your comment ridiculous. I had a cold a few weeks back and powered on through as normal. I don’t WANT to be in bed and I don’t WANT to not be looking after my 8 month old....whatever your situation is it’s not my fault.

OP posts:
GreenLantern53 · 21/10/2018 14:38

foster care isnt a baby sitting service nicknacky

TenForward82 · 21/10/2018 14:40

@greenlantern53 op isn't being a dick to everyone though. Being a dick must be far more draining than the flu. Maybe you should have a lie down, love.

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