To ask what you’d do if single, childless and likely to stay that way?

[muddywatersedge]

Aged 38.

@Chalkhillblu3 can you recommend any Sailing holidays? I desperately want to do this with DS (lone parent)

No one has ever asked me why I don't have kids, or am not coupled up. No one has ever put pressure on me either, not even my parents. I feel about 20. The only thing I worry about is work and money.

I did Trafalgar sailing in Gibraltar twice. There are other companies there too. It's super easy to get to from Gatwick (you can walk to the marina from the airport) and the sailing is challenging. Tides plus currents, heavy shipping lane. I sailed to Africa and back twice.

Thank you @Chalkhillblu3

A single, childless person is a valuable friend to have and a great asset to society. They have freedom and independence. Much as I love husband and grown up child - very much - my favourite day dream is being a single person with an interesting life and room to be kind to others, more than I am now.

I also did my Day Skipper Theory in Chatham but I haven't done the practical part yet.

The downside is that every ounce of motivation has to come from within. No-one says 'I want' or 'I'm hungry'.

I went in holiday,group adventure ones at 38 and met my exhusband.One child and 17 years married now on my own but happy.
You never know who is round the corner but cultivate your friends,they will have more time as their children grow up.

Are you looking to do something about changing the childless thing? Or you're happy as you are?

I'd always wanted kids so I'd be looking at donors maybe but not for an actual man to mar my life!

I don’t think changing it is an option or I would like to have children

@redexpat "Tell my perinium how much I love it."
😂😂😂

I think i could give up the idea of having children but not being alone. Id like to chase every well paying job opportunity but have someone to enjoy the travel, restaurants and a nicer home with.
Is dating not an option?

I prob could’ve coped without having kids, but would’ve been very sad, but not being alone with no partner. As annoying/demanding/irritating as they all are(!) I still would hate to be single. It’s nice to have ‘me’ time, but not all the time. That’s why it’s a novelty. But I’m not the sort of person who loves her own company much. If I do ever become single again I would join groups that interested me, volunteer etc.,I can’t do solitary stuff!

I used to go travelling on my own, in my 20s. Would do it again, no problem.
After I slept about 200 years :).

I'd probably get into crafts. EVERYONE tells single childfree people to travel. WTAF? What if you don't have the money? What if you don't like travelling?

Yeah travelling is difficult with a ft job.

I am not very attractive so dating is tough.

A single, childless person is a valuable friend to have and a great asset to society

That's nice of you to say but not really how it works out. People think you are cool and a free spirit, and they like you coming round occasionally to be a role model for teenage daughters, but they often don't have time for you.

Make sure I had both plentiful friendships and also some really meaningful relationships with people around me. Family. Friends.

Ensure I had structure at the weekends so I was never sending weekends all alone if I didn't want to. e.g. road bike club ride Saturday morning or something.

Also as a PP says - focus on making hay whilst the sun shines regarding finances. You are on your own and need to provide your own security. Work hard. Save. Have insurance.

If you can get a 2 bed place not a 1 bed place consider that as you can have a lodger.

Also, get a cat. Love coming home to my cat and being greeted at the door by someone pleased to see me. IMO dogs are too much work and expense if you live on your own and work FT out of the home.

I think I'd try and get really good at something - be it my job, or a hobby or an academic subject. I'd like to really give something my all.

I'd set personal challenges (as I do now but with different expectations) so would really love to walk the coastline of the UK, or do the C2C.

I would read huge amounts. Visit libraries, bookshops and get really really into fiction.

It's hard to properly walk in someone else's shoes. But much as I'm happily married with 3 children, I do fantasise about the complete opposite and how much energy I would have for other things.

I'm quite happy eating alone and generally enjoy my own company but can see that friendships and family relationships may become even more important and events like Christmas and birthdays may need more planning to ensure you have other people around.

Maximise career and earning opportunities. If I didn't really enjoy my career I would look at retraining. Spend said earnings on holidays, walking breaks, theatre, watching live sport, eating out with friends, drinking good wine. I'd spend a lot of time and energy on my house and garden, making it exactly how I want it and then enjoy spending time there.

i'd buy myself some really beautiful clothes with the amount i saved on daycare and dragging miserable children around day trip activities, I'd enjoy the hell out of being able to concentrate on anything (baking, working, reading) without facing constant demands. I'd enjoy a quiet house that stayed clean for 5 minutes.

I would be thoroughly enjoying my freedom and disposable income.

yes, i miss time with me mostly since i had children. time to be alone - i enjoy dh going away these days because it's so nice to have a couple of hours in the evening without demands.

I just get on with my life, am very involved with my nephews and niece, have good friends, interests etc.

You don't have to be married to your job or go off travelling the world or do anything 'amazing' to kind of justify not having children. Just , make the most of your talents and try to be a good friend/daughter/sister/aunt and a decent person.