To let big brother warn off bully

[AFOLNerd]

Dd has just started high school and is having a pretty hard time of it. She has a medical condition which has caused deformities to her hands and feet. One particularly vile boy in her form has been tormenting her about it. He has been spoken to by the school more that once and still continues.
Last night she came home in tears because after school this little brat had chased her across the field shouting at anyone who would listen to “come and look at these fucked up hands, her feet are like it too” “what the fuck is wrong with you”

Her big brother is at the school, he is a 6 foot year 10 and he wants to have a word and tell him to back off. He has promised me he won’t do today unless he witnesses something. I trust him completely that he wouldn’t lay a finger on this kid, it would just be an “I’m watching you, stay away from my sister” kind of thing. But obviously I don’t want him getting in trouble.

I have emailed her form tutor and told them all this and that this kid needs to be stopped before Ds steps in to defend her.

If the school don’t stop this boy Aibu to let Ds have a word?

I would let him, I’m surprised he hasn’t by now, what a good kid.

The school clearly aren’t addressing it and it’s not something light, what the kid is doing is absolutely disgusting

I don’t know what other people would do, but personally I would let DS have a word

I stepped in for my younger sibling at school and it helped, often bullies listen more to peers than adults

Just make sure little bully doesn’t have a big bully brother/friend

I have a Dd in year 7 and a Ds in year 10 and I would definitely let him have a quiet word if this was happening to my Dd.

I'd be inclined to go up the school and ask why has this disgusting disablist behavior been allowed to continue.
Why have this boys parents not been brought in.

The little shit. Your poor DD. I'm probably going to be in the minority here but yes I would let DS speak to him. Hopefully it will be enough to stop him in his tracks and make him back off.

I hope school step up though and sort this situation out, I think going in and speaking to the head might be needed.

I would let him. I don’t think that your ds would need to do anything other than say ‘have you said x to my sister?’ and the lad would likely shit his pants.

Absolutely yes!...and with his mates. My DD had both her older brothers in year 9 and year 11 when she was year 7.

The little shit might not know she has an older brother....but he needs to.

yes...I would too.

these wee shites just do not care about school sanctions. ...a bit of personal jeopardy might focus his mind.

Let your son step in. I have a feeling the bully will respond better to him than the school.

I would be taking this further with the school. Suspension should have been brought up with this boy by now, given that he has been reprimanded repeatedly for bullying and continues to do it.

Yes I would, I remember doing the same for my younger sister at school and the girl who was bullying her stopped that day. What a nasty little shit that boy is

Ds 14 has stepped in for both his dsis's at secondary school! Girls have no bother now!!
Perks of having a big db I assumed?!

I had this! i was the one being bullied and the school were not doing anything about it. My sister got involved and actually completely lost her shit, took it too far (without actually doing anything physical) and the school couldn't and didn't reprimand her because it was down to their failing. In your position I would absolutely give your DS your blessing to do this.

I would definitely let him, and I say that as a teacher. Sadly, bullying often doesn't end when the schools step in, the bully's get smarter about it and the bullied give up. The most effective way can usually be a protective older sibling/friend who makes it clear it's not acceptable.

Even as a member of staff I've had this happen! I work at a school where the majority of kids are religious, though not a religious school. I was unmarried and pregnant, most of the kids didn't bat an eyelid, but one year 8 boy was awful. I followed all the schools behaviour policies, involved heads of houses and parents. The only thing that stopped him was when he said something in front a year 11 boy who pulled him up on it before I had a chance. Never heard a peep from him after. Shouldn't have to come to that but sometimes when they realise other students don't approve of their behaviour it has more of an effect than teachers intervening.

I personally would arrange a meeting with the school without bringing your older son into it at all. You wouldn't want it to be seen that this "word" was somehow planned in advance just in case it got a little heated.

And yes, I would absolutely hope that my 6ft son stepped in and told the kid to stop being such a horror show. With no explicit threats of violence but a severe Paddington stare, and possibly a subtle menacing clench of his hand....

Definitely, mine are always encouraged to look after each other. My son is younger than my daughter but would still confront someone if she's was getting picked on. Your lad came to you first so is clearly sensible so should have no problems in sticking up for her in an appropriate way

Just be careful, bully boy may have older brothers, sisters, or even parents who will think nothing of having a pop at him for daring to stick up for his sister. It does happen.

Absolutely, that's what big brothers are for. As long as he's not violent to the little s**t and doesn't get himself in trouble

When my DD was in high school year 7 she was bullied by a lad in her year. One day this lad shouted across the dining hall that after school he was going to knock her out. As it happened our DS was eating his lunch in the year 11 group (sister not allowed to speak to him as it wasn't cool) son stood up kicked his chair across to the lad, walked over and told the lad in a very loud voice and said no one threatens, touches or even looks at his sister that he doesn't like. Son didn't touch the lad
She never had trouble ever again.

I would just make sure that big brother is a squeaky clean hero; ie he can have a threatening effect but he must not swear or be abusive or utter any overt threat.

Yes definitely be aware of bullies big brothers/cousins and also that he doesn’t manage to spin it as your ds bullying him.

Definitely yes! I did it for my sister when we were kids. The bully was a big fat boy and my sister was only a little thing, but I warned him off. It worked. He left her alone after that.

Yes let her big bro defend her. The little dick is obviously not afraid of authority. My only concern is that the bully also gas big brothers that are as wild as he is.

If it was my DD I would only see red. I hope it gets better, the bully should be suspended at the very least.

I think as long as he just "has a word" (scares the shit out of him) it's ok... probably the only thing that will work with a little fuckwit like that.

*Has

My older siblings always looked out for me. I was very quiet it was a comfort.

Dont let thé school know about what your ds wants to do (aka a ‘talk’) because if anything, however small, goes wrong he will be held responsible and will be told he has planned it all well in advance.