Mothers should always be with their children until they are 3 years old

[abacucat]

This is what one parenting "expert" is recommending in the name of attachment parenting. And he does mean mothers, not fathers. AIBU to think this is a load of rubbish? Babies and toddlers are not damaged as is alleged, from spending time apart from their mother.

www.drmomma.org/2010/07/mother-toddler-separation.html

See I know a lot of nursery workers with MAs....because we met on the Early Years MA course

Having said that, when we went round DSs nursery I didn't even ask what qualifications the staff had.

Haha by using internet browser,a tablet,and mn regulated forum you are compliant with rules and regulations. And goggle store user data

In RL Presumably you live off grid in a self sufficient Croft
In an unmaintained road with no utilities,no sewage,water,or electricity
How is it financed?do you have a waged partner, hows the lifestyle funded

User are you some sort of conspiracy theorist 😂

Hang on. If people are so secure in their choices, it hardly makes for a sensible discussion to mock other people for their choices

People who say mad stuff about institutions and nappy changing bonding and stuff usually have either a lifestyle funded by family money or a partner with a megabucks job who doesn't mind being institutionalised for 10 hours a day to earn that dollarrr

@user1499173618

My educational level is better put to use now that DS is at secondary school.

And lots can be done at weekends and holidays, not to mention post-work to further enrich our children's lives.

Different pp, but the same as nappy changes. I definitely changed enough nappies for DS to bond with me and vice versa. I didn't have to change them all. What an odd idea.

I’m not mocking.im exploring the incongruence of being suspicious of big institutions but posting online,using internet and abiding by uk libel rules
Recall Gina Ford threatened to sue MN because of content posted about her books and recommendations

jack Monroe successfully sued Kate Hopkins fir what she’s wrote on Twitter

user1499173618 how’s your lifestyle funded,who’s earning the readies?

I was a SAHM for 5 years and have since ensured being there for every school pick up on my time.

Doesn’t mean it was right for everyone, means it was absolrely right for us which is all that matters.

I was a firm believer in one on one care, especially as we did extended breastfeeding

And I'm not mocking anything I'm trying to make the point that if you were a single mum on just enough benefits to pay rent on your 1 bed flat, no family or a complex family with their own health and financial problems you might even have to help with yourself on top of everything, put gas on the meter and do a weekly shop, then you would abandon your principles of not agreeing with childcare under 3 years and gleefully take the free childcare you might be offered by the govt or a cheap enough child minder that you could take a part time job and earn some money to improve your situation.

For the record, I'm all for staying at home if that's what you want and are able to.
Just don't give us shit about educational levels and needing to bond over all nappy changes.

Yes, along with other things changing nappies is a bonding experience, of course you don't have to change them all, especially if you have a partner, or in our case with dd, two older siblings who couldn't wait to get involved. It was only an example, not a sole reason to not use childcare
jean
None of those, dh earns low wage, no family money. We lived off grid to survive the 15% mortgage rate when our older two were young.
It was a choice we made, so we lived accordingly.
We wanted a sahp, so we cut our cloth accordingly. As I say, it worked well for us, in our situation with our circumstances.
Not the right way for others, obviously.

Well I’m glad I don’t measure my bond with my children by the quantity of nappies changed

Seriously though, as long as our kids grow up healthy and fulfilling their potential then what’s the problem? I consider myself very fortunate to have achieved a lot in my career as well as being a parent, but quite frankly I expect my children would have grown up just as happy and well adjusted if I’d been a SAHM. It’s not an either/or.

Do you vaccinate your children @romany

Yes, but not all of them for all things.
One was allergic to mmr so had to wait until well into school to have hers.
We don't do flu vaccinations, but mine are older grown up so didn't have it back then.
I suppose like anything else, you get the info and make your decision.
What does vaccination have to do with whether you use childcare before 3 years old?

Well I’m glad I don’t measure my bond with my children by the quantity of nappies changed

I don't think anyone has said this, an example was given. But if it makes you better with your decisions, you believe this is what was said.

Your objections to institutions, policies, procedures etc read like classic anti- vaxx narrative.

Children clearly need high quality care with someone with someone who is close to them when they are that age so they can develop healthy attachments. That could be mum, dad, another relative, a nanny or a childminder/nursery where there is a very low ratio of children per staff member. Its the warmth, consistency and security that is needed, surely, rather than having to be the female parent? There is nothing wrong with childcare, although you do have to choose wisely when a child is that young to make sure that they get lots of cuddles and attention.

Blaa

Definitely not, although if people choose not to, I wouldn't judge.
For us the known benefits was enough.
Me and dh have been together 30 years, in this time we've lived in several areas of the UK, dc have attended state schools, primary, secondary. We have H.ed when necessary, and now dd boards.
As I said I don't judge people for their choices and believe in individuality and doing what's best for you, not what's dictated by others.
I'd be a terrible employee

I don't judge people for their childcare choices but I 100% judge people who don't vaccinate.

It's also important to follow rules, policies and procedures at times. Saying you'd be a terrible employee because you refuse to follow these isn't a great message to be sending to your kids. I've taught people who believe this and it doesn't end well for the individuals in the long run.

Blaa

Touch wood, we've managed and will continue to.
I think it's a great message to give to your kids. Eldest is doing alright and is his own boss, middle one is employed, but looking to start own business, and youngest at 14 has her career sorted, she started at 8.
None of them want to work for somebody else.
So in this respect, it seems to have worked for them.
But we are all different with different circumstances, in different situations.

With all due respect no child has their career sorted at 8.

Because I'm nosy what does your dd do that she could do at 8 as a career?! Is it something I should get my dd interested in 🤔😉😁

With all due respect no child has their career sorted at 8

Of course some do. My ex-H did. And he’s still doing it.

Career started at 8! I’ve heard it all now! I’ve certainly known children who start rigorously training in a specific field (dance, music etc) at younger than that. But to actually decide for certain how your career is mapped out at that age- wow! No room for open mindedness there...