DP judging everyone by his own impossibly high standards

[applesandapear]

I’ve had enough of my DPs general attitude towards other people. He is constantly judging others based on his own standards and to be honest I’m starting to question if he’s even a good person

Some examples

1. If the house isn’t impossibly clutter free he acts like I’m disgustingly unclean (I’m not!)
2. He has a hobby, let’s say cycling as to not be too outing. He can cycle a certain event in say an hour which is a very very good time. The average person would be happy to achieve the same event in say 1.30-1.45 and be very pleased. Someone posted on FB that they did it in 1.48 (huge achievement) and he said it was embarrassing and they should have done better!!
3. Told me I’m not achieving anything as my priority is raising our children not earning as much money as possible - I’m sorry but raising well rounded happy children is a massive achievement in my book!
4. Said that I don’t take any responsibility for things because he asked me to call the house insurance about something which I did but he hadn’t fully informed me of what I was actually asking so missed something off. Said I should be an adult take responsibility and find out. My argument was that I cannot read his mind and therefore cannot be expected to ask all questions he wanted if he hadn’t told me!

I think it’s appalling to be honest. Have your own high standards fine but don’t make others feel like s* when their achievements are different to your own!
AIBU???

He sounds horrible ... be glad you're not actually married to him? And think about what kind of effect this will have on your children if they hear this crap day in and day out?

He doesn't have high standards,he's a bullying prick

Sorry posted too soon. This ^

Oh OP! He wants to grind you down to nothing! I suspect it'll take him a long painful while since you have a lot about you: strength, sense of self, education and career.

LTB while you still have all of the above.

Don't let him do this to your child. Nothing I ever did or was was ever good enough for my father and it has severely affected my mental wellbeing. I nearly got whiplash at his funeral when the minister said how he told everyone how proud he wS of me g yet all I ever got was how I had fallen below his standards. It's a horrible thing to do to a child. Take yours and get them out.

Hmm, you've described a socially inept, self-involved, judgemental, patronising arse, with a superiority complex and no empathy.

That really isn't high standards that's a nasty, unlikable, bullying, narcissistic prick.

If he's made you think his twatty behaviour is acceptable he's really done a number on you...please consider getting out, you are clearly worth more than that, honestly - listen to ALL of the above, it's not ok and it isn't ok for a child to grow up thinking it is alright to treat people you are supposed to love like that.

Has he always been like this but worse recently? He sounds like a one upmanship insecure knob currently (sorry). The sports thing is small fry really but the stuff about you not achieving stuff is just ridiculous. Is he scared of losing you and putting you down to stop himself feeling crap? Either way it’s unacceptable and he needs a stern talking to.

Well he sounds lovely op.

He sounds very insecure. A happy, confident person doesn’t belittle other people. If he carries on like this he could drive you away.

And he would be a terrible salesman, a good salesman needs excellent communication and people skills. They need to listen to you and find what you want and need from their product so they can let you know how their product will give you what you want. Someone mindlessly churning out a list of facts and stats about the superiority of their product will bore people to death. Perhaps you could let your DH know what it is you need from him so he can adjust his sales pitch accordingly?

Whats he like when he's not being a cunt to you and other people?

He sounds like a complete wanker. How on earth do you not just laugh in his face when he comes out with this bullshit?

Sounds like a miserable son of a bitch! I have to wonder if his own upbringing is influencing him? If not I’d tell him to go get counseling until they can change him into a human being

He wouldn’t make a fantastic salesman because his massive ego would put anybody off of buying anything from him and his standards aren’t impossibly high but rather, his ego and insecurities are exceptionally inflated.

Why on earth did you have kids with this selfish, entitled arse? What were you thinking. This is who he is and your mistake is waiting for him not to be.

Google Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder and 'things people with OCPD say'.

It's different to OCD, and impossible to live with, because the person with OCPD holds others to impossible standards.

Cock end, dump,him ASAP!!!

He is clearly a pompous fuckwit.

I'd be tempted to tell him that I wasn't interested in his worthless popinions.

Opinions. Stupid phone.

He's a knob!

Nobody's perfect and it's downright nasty to just pick at everyone like that!

Were there really no signs of this before you had DC with him?

Here's a way to "achieve" something - a happy life by telling him to stop being such a dick! And if he doesn't properly take it on board i'd ltb!

Seriously - what is HE crap at? Cos I'd start very loudly and very visibly pointing out ALL his faults!

He actually said to me ‘I don’t see you achieving anything’

Wow. What. A. Twat.

Yeah, he's a cunt
Divorce him and get 2/3 of the house and half of the pension
He sounds like a man,-child and you could do better

I'd be tempted to tell him that the only thing I could see him really achieving was being a monumental twat.

He may have his own high standards but he's literally no standards when it comes to manners ! Rude, self righteous wanker springs to mind!

Nasty little man.

He doesn't like you, OP, but he loathes himself, and you will never fill the bottom less pit of self hatred. Nothing you do or say , and none of your feelings for him will ever be enough to stop the contemptuous comments.

The house will never be clutter free enough. You will never have a career worthy of his respect, or a salary he won't mock. If or when trouble happens with the baby or children, that will all be your fault. You will be accused of over-lenience or over-strictness, self-indulgence or helicoptering, whatever insult he can think of - it doesn't matter which, actually, because none of what he says will reflect reality. What he says to you reflects his own need to control and ultimately to destroy. He will seize every opportunity to put you down.

Now that you have a baby he will begin to target you as a mother. It will cut straight to your heart.

LTB

He sounds very insecure. A happy, confident person doesn’t belittle other people.

This was what I was thinking when I read OP's post. Please don't let him do what he does to your child too.