Does anyone else just feel like crying over their messy house?

[Iliveinazoo]

I'm soooo sick of it.

We're a fairly typical household, me, husband, two young kids (one preschooler), both dh and I working.

I swear trying to clean up with kids and a husband is like trying to shovel snow in a blizzard.

I can't even be bothered to go into the mundane details of it all, but things like.

You sweep and mop, they eat one meal, you may as well have not bothered.

You clean the bathroom, the toddler goes to the loo, misses, yay pissy floor.

You wash every single towel in the house, 3 days later every single towel in the house is screwed up in a damp pile in the corner of ds1s bedroom.

You clean mirrors, windows, glass doors, one hour later fingerprints all over said surfaces.

I try to fold washing, toddler tried to throw it all around the room like it's the best game ever.

Husband 'helps' by loading the dishwasher, nothing comes out clean because guess what darling husband, plates down come clean when they're crammed in on top of each other.

Apparently I'm also supposed to be ironing and washing bedding weekly, I don't.

I've tried everything, nobody notices or cares apart from me.

I've just had a meltdown over this tonight. We go on holiday tomorrow abd I've spent all day ironing so we don't come back to piles but the house is filthy and TBH I don't want to go.

I'm just drinking prosecco and hoping that makes it look better.

2 adults and one 13 year old. Endless battle to move shite before anything can be cleaned. Debating buying me a small flat to move into nearer work.

It's surely not meant to be this difficult.

Cellardoor that's pretty much us.

I mean he does do things, but it's the basics, the bare essentials to keep things ticking over. He doesn't really clean anything.

If I just left it, he still wouldn't clean anything.

He'll clean things if I ask/tell him to, but quite frankly I'm sick of being the organiser and the only one to care.

Every now and then I go absolutely apeshit about everyone leaving stuff lying around, he'll have a mad tidying spree and get better for a while, then slip back to old ways.

Yes it's probably all wrong, but I'm out of energy to do anything about it.

somewhere - then why are you tolerating it?

You do get faster at the organised mum method, I started it over 2 months ago & was overwhelmed.

Not getting anywhere, neither was OH, also have 2 pre schoolers.

Now we’re both in a great routine & have been able to fit in finishing parts of the house as well.

But you do need to massively declutter which I have done & I’ve gone a bit mad on storage but it works & I’m only doing major housework 5 days a week.

Hopefully you can find a happy medium.

Just to say my dh has been working 80 hours a week until a few weeks ago and he does do housework, more than I do at times, but nothing seems to make a difference.

You need to tell him that you're not organising his shit anymore.

Stop doing stuff for him if he won't pull his weight - that includes his ironing, laundry, shopping and life admin.

I have a hoarding DH and 2 DC ages 5 & 7

I did the Marie Kondo method three years ago and I got rid of so so much stuff.

Everything in my house now has a place - it isn't always in the right place - but knowing where things should be makes tidying so much quicker.

Two months ago I hired a fortnightly cleaner and over the first three visits they deep cleaned the house. Knowing that someone was coming to poke into all the nooks and crannies of my home prompted me to do a full Kondo again and it was surprising how much more 'stuff' I got rid of.

I did Kondo when I was very ill but had spurts of energy approx. 30 minutes a day for four weeks and then my house was uncluttered. I collected so much stuff I called British Heart Foundation and they came in a van and took away everything.

You just need a plan...start and stick to it, as soon as you start seeing results you will be amazed!

The organised mum method has helped me because even if the house is a tip, I like having one room as a different focus every day. I can’t finish the list but I just do a few different things every week from it and over a few weeks the house honestly got cleaner. My OH does half of the housework though!

Iliveinazoo I could have written your post. We’ve had work done on the house and also inherited a load of crap last year so have had to try and seriously declutter. It’s been a bloody nightmare, it’s been going on for about a year now and we’re still nowhere near finished. I could cry at the sheer fucking mess everywhere but I just don’t know what else to do with it.

That organised mum thing is bollocks. Those jobs take longer than thirty minutes, we have a big house and I can’t remember what job to do on what day, I’d have to have a spreadsheet and I’m not that anal.

The organised mum method is designed to be tweaked to fit your own life.

I don’t do half the things in her list, I add stuff I think she’s missed out but what it does do is allow me to focus and actually get stuff done rather than get distracted because I know it will all get it then eventually. And you stop when you’ve done half hour in the designated room, plus daily basics. Then the next week you pick up where you left off. The idea being, little and often means nothing gets really filthy and therefore you get quicker and quicker. It also feels much more motivating and manageable.

Good luck whatever you do

YESS!
I have a dog, he is by far the messiest member of our family. Just as I feel like I’ve kinda got it. He sees a child or dog outside and goes for a piss on the carpet or a bed.

I finished cleaning the kitchen earlier when he then rolled all over the floor, which left it covered in fur. He then proceeded to slob all over the kitchen and jump at the glass doors.

I’ve given up for today now

The Organised Mum method is common sense - clean up quickly everyday and do something in one room on top of that. So, if you sweep/vacuum heavy traffic areas, wipe down surfaces and keep on top of the washing, shopping and cooking, you're half way there.

Then you're supposed to do half an hour a day, working your way around the house. There's a list of things for each room and you do what you can in half an hour. Next week, you tackle something else in that room. The idea is that you keep on top of everything. If you work full-time, a Saturday morning blitz might be more manageable.

Decluttering is key, but you need energy and time for that, and there's the first sticking point. You also need to become a clutter-free household to stop it building up again. I wish that was me, but it's a battle. It is amazing when you do it though - stress melts away.

And the work needs to be shared. When my kids were little, it was easier for me to do it all while the kids were taken out for a few hours.

Lastly, it does need to be time limited. There's more to life than cleaning!

The organised mum method looks just like The Fly Lady.

TFL used to send you a daily email with a list of shit to do each time.

Every fucking email ended with "don't forget to shine your sink!"

@PickAChew what a silly thing to say when you don’t know me or how big my house is . I don’t mind spending 30 minutes a week cleaning pet hairs off my furniture. It’s just ridiculous to suggest you can spend 5 min once a week on it.

theoatmeal.com/comics/dishwasher

It's Definitely a lot easier now that the kids have left home but my son still at uni so still brings crap Plus my younger daughter rents with a husband so she still has a load of rubbish at home from uni days and each time she comes home I tried to get her to clear up but it's not easy

I do remember feeling upset and the kids were younger about the mess. It is soul destroying but I wouldn't have let my children pull stuff out of cupboards. Just insist they don't

I’m going to google this organised mum shiznet but I just wanted to say you’re soooo not alone. I fucking hate my home and it used to be so lovely. [hugs]

What's the organised Mum method?
I use the 'A glass of vodka & lemonade every now and then' method, works wonders!

When I'm feeling a bit more energetic I'll have a look at the organised mum method in more detail and Marie kondo, right now it just feels a bit hopeless. Like nothing will ever change.

We've been out most of the day and I'd said to dh that if we had a good go at tidying up this evening, then we wouldn't have to do it all tomorrow and would have a free day. Of course it didn't work out and frankly I'm just pissed off with it all. I'd already tidied up this morning (dh had take ds to football).

Bless you all anyhow, to the disorganised and the organised you've made me laugh and I needed to laugh.

I generally keep the house looking tidy but the inside of cupboards and wardrobes etc, well that's a different story 😂. What's the organised mum method?

The organised mum method works! I have a big house and I did have to boot camp it before hand and chuck out a load of shite. That took 4/5 days.

But now it's easily manageable in the 30 minutes.

Can't hurt to give it a try. And train the kids to do their bit as well!

I can totally relate to this, it was only today I was talking to my mum about always being destined to live in a messy house. I’ve got ten days off work coming and I’m going to be spending the majority of it cleaning the house from top to bottom.

Kind of dreading the time off because of that.

Yes.

Mostly I think we need storage space. Things don't have a place so how can they be tidied to anywhere?

That organised Mum thing about the kids room is so far from my reality that it could also make me cry. 30 minutes, to do all that? I wouldn't get the floor cleared in 30 minutes, let alone the rest!

Another fan of The Organised Mum. I am in a full on hell of work, study, parenting, repeat until Christmas. Somehow having done a couple of weeks of organised mum means I can get downstairs presentable in 10 mins. Once life settles down again I'm going to do a massive declutter.

www.theorganisedmum.blog/

It's the way I've always managed, but it only works when I've decluttered. Kids grown up now so quick vacuum, sweep, mop and wipe down is fine, but it wasn't so easy when I had to put kids to fed, work round their stuff and generally look after them. It's hard work, but I'd go back in time in a heartbeat.