to ask if you can afford a 'private' school in the UK but have chosen to send your child/children to a state school why?

[Foreverexhausted]

My three year old DD has just started a nursery attached to a fee paying school. I chose the nursery because it is by far the best nursery in the area but unfortunately we can't afford to send her to the school itself as fees are £15k per year per child and we have two children.

We have friends who could afford private schooling but their children are in state schools and then others who can't afford it but are just scraping by because they like the status of children attending a private school.

We could but choose the local primary for DDs. The private had 15 pupils per class but only 5 girls plus it was further from home, most children in our village went to the primary so it had a strong community feel, the primary had great results at key stage 1 and 2, the primary was very well supported by parents. We did look at the private school, even though it looked lovely it wasn't enough to sway us in its favour. Our girls did well at school, passed the 11plus and ended up at great universities.

I don't object to paying for education in principle. But I think there is potentially a lot of education to pay for....so my DC go to state secondary and sixth form while I save up to be able to support them through university/higher education. I feel it's a better use of resource.

If it were up to me I'd scrap private schools entirely.

Finland is often cited as having the best education in the world. Finland has outlawed private schools.

Because we can spend the money on other things.
Because I prefer dc to mix with people from a wider range of backgrounds.
Because it's closer ... a lot.

I am a teacher and taught in comprehensive for 3 years and private for 8. I'm no longer in the U.K. (so when the time comes my children will be going to a fee paying international school), BUT if I went back to the U.K. I would send my kids to a comprehensive.

We can more than afford the private fees but I just don't see it as value for money. Also, most of the lovely kids I taught at the comp school had better values than those at private. Yes, clubs and facilities are better at private but I can send my kids to external clubs etc for most things. I just don't see the benefit really...

I chose to send my children to a local state school because I fundamentally disagree with them. There are plenty round my way and we could have afforded it without any substantive change in our lifestyle. I'd abolish the lot. I'd also get rid of selective grammars. Every child deserves equality of opportunity.

The best school in my area in terms of results for exams is a state school. That's where my eldest goes.

Only reason I'd send them to the private school would be for the sport and music opportunities. But in terms of grades, they are better going where they do.

Also... I would without hesitation have sent dc to a private school if they hadn't got into one of the decent state schools.

“to ask if you can afford a 'private' school in the UK but have chosen to send your child/children to a state school why?”

Because the state schools where I live are excellent. DD achieved excellent GCSE (8 A*/A & 2 B) and A level (AAA) results. Why would I need to pay for that?

We can now afford to subsidise her through university, and haven’t had to scrimp and save and have a lower standard of lifestyle in the meantime.

DC got into an excellent state school. If they hadn’t then I would have funded private option.

I think private schools are more about segregation and I want my kids to mix with everyone

@AnotherCareerThread

Umm I guess so. My DC have enough advantages already. They come from a family with disposable income. They have well-educated middle class parents, who are interested in them and able to support them to follow their interests and academically. They get breakfast every morning, and it isn’t a packet of crisps.

I personally believe that society would be much better if everyone went to their local state funded school, and all those parents who currently choose to send their children to private schools engaged and involved with their local state schools instead. I aspire to that kind of society for my dc. I also believe they’re getting huge advantages from their state schools, in terms of mixing with a broader section of the population and gaining a greater understanding of society. That’s really important to me.

And then I look at the DfE including parental spending on private education in their ‘here’s the money we’ve spent on education’ figures and want to weep.

@OatsBeansBarley are you me, a few years in the future ?

a) I don't think it's necessary. I expect my children will do well in state school.

b) I don't like the kind of people who more frequently attend private school and the general environment, so I'd rather avoid that.

c) The whole idea of paying for "better" schooling seems fundamentally unequal and I don't wish to be a part of it.

We think our local state primary is a better fit for our child.

You can’t asaume that all private schools are better than all state schools, it’s not the case at all.

”flowery, I'd have compromised my principles too, had I genuinely believed that the private options were significantly better. Ultimately, we all do the best for our own children.”

Well yes. My 25 year old self would be horrified but my 42 year old self feels as you do, and I have to say, after our two have been at their new school for half a term, it was 100% the right decision, we are thrilled with it.

Still glad we kept DS1 in state primary all the way, and DS2 as long as we did though.

We can afford it, but will be going state.

DH is a teacher as knows lots of teachers, and says the worst tend to work for private schools as the demands are less/it’s an easier life. You are paying for the facilities/smaller class sizes rather than for the best teaching.

Also I think the kids who go on to great success will do well regardless, so it’s a waste of money.id rather save the money and pay for my kids university years, and give them money towards a house. That would make a much bigger difference on life outcome/happiness imo than to be taught your abcs in a class of twelve by someone too delicate for the local comp

It really depends on the schools - and if you get in. we have 6 primary schools less than 1 mile away and didn’t get in any of them. got assigned to a school you would only allow your child to if you don’t give a shit. so we went private. the difference is massive! not so much in terms if curriculum, a good state school can do that. but afterschool care etc gives so much more opportunities it is unreal

We are trying to make the decision for DS now, for us it’s a lot to do with logistics. The local state school is good but not amazing and a 5 minute walk from the house (30 mins min from work) and has an after school club but not breakfast club so one of us would probably have to cut our hours or we’d be doing an early and a late ‘shift’ at work which would mean taking two cars every day - doable but not perfect.
The two private schools both have a bus from our area, chaperoned for primary age children but DS would be on the bus at 7.20, have an hour on the bus before school, have another hour home and be home around 4.30. We could just about work full time with those hours and a bit of evening catch up. However, I’d never see his teachers or the other parents, he would be spending 10 hours a week on a bus aged 5 and it would be impossible to take him to any after school activities unless I cut hours anyway. Dropping him off or picking him up ourselves wouldn’t save much time over the bus. The private school does have vastly better facilities though. It’s really not as simple as whether you can afford it.

I think the diversity argument is important. Ethnically at least, the private school my two attend is extremely diverse, much more so than their state primary school. Again that’s about the individual school, and clearly socially the state school is more diverse.

if you are a very, very engaged stay at home parent, a good state school is good. if you work fulltime, need after school care, and think beyond the curriculum, a good (!!!!) private school
is miles ahead

The main benefits of private schools are a) small class sizes and b) a limited range of 'types' of people. I don't mean race or even that everyone is loaded but generally, everyone values education and expects certain levels of manners and behaviour. Whilst there are certainly some offspring of rich absent parents, at academic private schools you can pretty much guarantee that the vast majority of parents have. Thought their children up to work hard and appreciate education. Yes they will still be teens but at state schools you get the whole gamut. There are great families and great students and also absolutely ghastly families with criminal mentality. Having said that, if you are lucky enough to live somewhere where there isn't much of a bad element you can go to great state schools.

It’s about the child for us.
DS1 is at state secondary, thriving in a large, diverse community.
DS2 will go private. He needs smaller classes, less hustle and bustle. Our local secondaries do not provide that.

Yura,oh that's awful....if that was us ,we wouldn't have the money to go private,what did other parents do in your situation..can I ask where that is?

In terms of quality of education, my number one preference would be to home school my kids, but I value the social aspect of regular school and I also don't really want to spend 24 hours a day with my kids—sorry kids! So I put them in a state one, since I don't think it's worth paying for that aspect alone. Plus I'd much rather they socialise with the larger cross-section of society you get at a state school than the more limited one you get at a private school.