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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's going to be a long 10 months hearing about this wedding

123 replies

Namechangeagain22 · 13/10/2018 11:59

My friend gets married next august, for the last two months all I've heard is everything about her wedding. Each week it's a different topic of the wedding. This weekend she is discussing honeymoon plans. Me and the bridesmaids are to meet up at her house for 'nibbles' and help her plan.
I know I don't sound like any kind of friend but I'm being driven up the wall!!! Not only that but how is she not driving herself up the wall!!

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 13/10/2018 12:00

It's a wonder women like this have any friends left by the time they get married! I would say that I couldn't make it - don't you have a bad cold?

cardibach · 13/10/2018 12:02

Apart from anything else, what has the honeymoon to do with the bridesmaids?
YANBU. Duck out of as much as you can!

Original poster
Namechangeagain22 · 13/10/2018 12:04

I feel for her, I know she's excited and I'm the bridesmaid that she's known the longest but I just can't help but think really?? It's not just general chit chat about it, it's three hour text conversations about how to word invitations, is it too early to send invitations? What colour scheme should she have? What about flower girl dress colour? What is the meal going to be like? Should she buy a post box? Where to buy wedding rings?
I'm exhausted just typing it Grin if I don't text her back she'll WhatsApp me or Facebook me! No I have to go otherwise I'll be criticised like mad!

OP posts:
DCIVivDeering · 13/10/2018 12:04

YANBU!

53rdWay · 13/10/2018 12:05

You'd have to give me a lot more than 'nibbles' to get me planning somebody else's lovely holiday for them.

DCIVivDeering · 13/10/2018 12:05

This would drive me mad too OP.

pasturesgreen · 13/10/2018 12:05

Jesus Christ. I have no patience for these kind of shenanigans. Are you still in time to pull out of bridesmaid's duties? You'll go mad by the time the wedding is here!

Neshoma · 13/10/2018 12:05

Shouldn't she plan her honeymoon with the Groom to be?

Holding you hostage with nibbles shoulds like my idea of hell. And you know she'll use it as an opportunity to then re-alk about everything else too.

I think I'd be coming down with the flu (cough, cough).

KarmaStar · 13/10/2018 12:05

Ha,I feel for you op,usually there is a lot to do at the start of organising a wedding then very little until nearer the date so hopefully she will calm down and realize the rest of you have other subjects to talk about.

Original poster
Namechangeagain22 · 13/10/2018 12:06

The best text I got yesterday was "are any of you available on Thursday, I seen a post box I'd like to buy and want your opinion on it! Then we have to buy the things to decorate it!!"
I wish I was joking

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 13/10/2018 12:07

I don't know why,but I dislike the term nibbles.I think of little nice feasting on biscuitsSmile

Aprilislonggone · 13/10/2018 12:07

Can you just start talking about Christmas EVERY opportunity? Remind her Christmas is long before the wedding and you need to get organised!! Tell her you will be available from 1/1/19 for planning meetings!

KarmaStar · 13/10/2018 12:07

Mice

Nephrite · 13/10/2018 12:08

What on earth? The honeymoon is for her and her husband to decide

LoniceraJaponica · 13/10/2018 12:09

Does she want a marriage or a "wedding"?

travailtotravel · 13/10/2018 12:11

She has to talk to you as she has already driven her soon to be husband up the wall ...

ImaginaryCat · 13/10/2018 12:11

I promise you I'm not normally the twat who corrects people's grammar, but as she's so irritating (I hate her already and don't even know her), I'd have to reply with "you SAW a postbox, you didn't SEEN it!"
I'm pretty sure that'll get you excused from all this nonsense PDQ.

Nonibaloni · 13/10/2018 12:12

Can you send her my way? Me and df were discussing our wedding plans (July). After an hour we had fallen down a internet rabbit hole watching birds of prey in flight. I’m convinced I’ll be whizzing round party supply stores the day before desperation trying to find ribbons or something.
Maybe find the worst examples or most crazy expensive (I found wedding invitations that were £25 EACH) so that she stops asking?

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 13/10/2018 12:13

I remember sitting through a long monologue by one of my friends going through all her different table-centrepiece options and I thought that was bad enough! I think I eventually had to steer her away from the subject with a gently-worded ‘does it really matter?’

What on earth is your friend thinking, asking you to plan her honeymoon?! It sounds like she needs a reality check, to be honest. If she’s a good friend then she should be able to take it. Just gently point out that her honeymoon is between her and her partner, and that it’s not really something you should be getting involved in.

Planesmistakenforstars · 13/10/2018 12:25

No I have to go otherwise I'll be criticised like mad!
You really don't HAVE to go, so don't. Being criticised like mad sounds far preferable to going.

Volant · 13/10/2018 12:25

Weird her out. Get so involved in plans for the honeymoon that you and the other bridesmaids get involved in drawing up charts showing precisely when, how and how often they consummate the marriage, with a poll on the type of condoms/lubricants to be used.

Parker231 · 13/10/2018 12:27

Being a bridesmaid can be fun but you don’t need to be heavily involved unless you want to. Your main responsibility is on the wedding day itself.

All you need to do is to text her saying ‘sorry can’t make this weekend but have a good time ‘ and start ignoring her text/messaging. Your involvement over the next few months can be as little as you want it to be.

Butterymuffin · 13/10/2018 12:33

She needs to join whatever wedding discussion forums exist these days (in my day it was 'weddingguide.co.uk' I think) to have these conversations with people in the same situation as her. Look for some and send her links. You'll be doing all your other friends a favour too.

juneau · 13/10/2018 12:39

It's a wonder women like this have any friends left by the time they get married!

This ^

specialsubject · 13/10/2018 12:41

tell it like it is: 'you are being a boring no-life bridezilla and I am OUT OF HERE if this goes on for the next ten months. It is ONE DAY. I am NOT interested in planning your holiday, I'm not going on it'.

no lose situation - either she gets real or you are out of it.