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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked that HQ told me off for swearing?!?

156 replies

XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 20:24

Not a TAT but will probably be deleted shortly regardless!

Long standing mner (I remember when all this were fields).

The day before yesterday there was a pile on in a single parent thread. It went on and on, real shit sandwich meanness directed at the op. Lots of supportive posters telling the unsupportive sorts to back off and OP rightfully pointed out that there was a lot of good advice too. I pmd OP and decided to report all the crappy posts to HQ so hopefully by morning the OP would have a nice shiny supportive thread to wake up to.

I cut and pasted most of my reports which consisted of "wanker" or "nasty vicious fucker" and got as many as I could before going to bed. It was a pile on, there was a lot.

I got an email from MNHQ yesterday telling me off.

Here it is;

Hi there XXPowerShield,
Thanks for all your reports, we are going to look at that thread now. We might ask the favour, though, that in future you stick to reporting for guidelines that are being broken because while we have no objection to swearing on the boards, 30 or so curse-laden reports weren't that pleasant for our staff to start their day with.
Best,
Hope
MNHQ

I am shocked, in the past when I have apologised for overly verbose sweary reports I have been told not to worry, HQ love the swearing. AIBU to be a bit Hmm at this response? Some of my reports were deleted but loads left standing including such gems as -

knowing that you were in this situation with three kids you decided to have another with someone who was not a DH, a life partner, who was clearly not able to support his child and neither were you.

I'm amazed at how little thought many women put into having babies...often with men they hardly know.

You didn't have to have four children with two deadbeats.

I wouldn't say the system is set up to fail, I would say that being a single mother with four children is intrinsically a losing situation to be in

what I dont get is if they were all wanted how comes the fathers dont bother

you decided to have another child when you already had ...You've made your situation worse,

I wasn't the only one annoyed by the stirrers on the thread (but maybe the only one who reported a bunch of nasty vicious fuckers to HQ).

I weep for humanity after reading some of these replies. ...One question to the benefit bashers do you want to live in Dickensian Britain?

I feel like I have missed a memo but am currently composing my reply to HQ but really how does one respond to the phrase "curse-laden"?!?

OP posts:
Original poster
XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 21:48

Bitchplopper is new to me, what is it?

GF is still swearing in the manner I usually do.

OP posts:
FlowThroughIt · 11/10/2018 21:49

I never copy and paste the stuff just make a comment on what the issue is imo, BUT, you would think the mods of MN would have pretty fucking thick skins. 😂

If they aren't enjoying being mods anymore then surely they can just leave, isn't that what they tell us to do when we're not enjoying a thread anymore?

abbsisspartacus · 11/10/2018 21:49

I tend to put "uncalled for" as a reason one report I told them to just read it as it was obvious why I was reporting it but yes I suppose stick to basics ie nasty personal attacks etc

RickOShay · 11/10/2018 21:49

XX for what it’s worth I think you were right. But next time play the game.....

thisneverendingsummer · 11/10/2018 21:50

Maybe they enjoy being mods, just not reading 30 posts in 10 minutes, that features 300 cuss words.

Somerville · 11/10/2018 21:50

On a website where swearing is banned it wouldn’t be acceptable to swear in a report to a mod, IMO. But on MN swearing is not just tolerated, it is actively promoted as part of what makes these forums different to others. For example, MN twitter profile says (or used to; I’m not on there anymore) something like “that website for parents. No the other one. With the swearing. And the biscuits.”
And mods sometimes swear on posts on threads - especially deletion posts - and in email responses about reports.

I haven’t seen the thread in question so I have no idea why 30 reports was necessary, or indeed, whether it was. But if excessive reporting was the issue then the telling off should have been explicitly about that.

madmum5811 · 11/10/2018 21:51

Doing modding myself. No it is not nice to receive reports like this. We can see from posts reported what is going on and make decisions based on this. It really is not necessary or welcome. Mods. are volunteers who shouldn`t have to take it.

BehemothPullsThePeasantsPlough · 11/10/2018 21:51

You couldn’t just say “troll” because many of them probably weren’t trolls.

Original poster
XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 21:55

Well you see TwitterQueen1 from the thread clearly I am not the only mner to simply stick an adequate descriptor in the box, twatbadger, creepy fucker, goady fucker, wanker etc. It saves time, gets to the point and we all know exactly what it means. But obviously not acceptable to the person opening the emails and feeling slighted so we all live and learn, every day is a school day.

I will add that I have also never heard the word "curse" as a descriptor for swearing except on american tv Grin

OP posts:
CinnaMessala · 11/10/2018 21:56

I seriously cannot believe you reported 30 posters because you didn’t like their opinions. It’s not piling on. It’s not agreeing with the OP. You sound seriously unhinged and I feel sorry HQ has to deal with this sort of shite.

Somerville · 11/10/2018 21:57

Mods. are volunteers who shouldn`t have to take it.

Not they’re not. Not on MN. They’re paid employees. The voluntary bit is what the Night Watch do, and what we all do by reporting.

Original poster
XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 21:57

"Uncalled for" is a good one, I will use that but something decidedly stronger needed for the likes of a vicious mad pile on, suggestions please?

OP posts:
bookbuddy · 11/10/2018 21:57

I can’t stop laughing, that’s hilarious. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when they opened those messages Grin. Yanbu and have given me a laugh this evening. Wink

Original poster
XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 21:59

I didn't report 30 posters I reported the attacking posts up until the point the OP had said she wanted the thread left standing for the good stuff and really everyone should do that to support OPs when they can. I have no idea how many, doubt it was 30 but isn't it more likely other people were also reporting them?

OP posts:
Hayles88 · 11/10/2018 22:00

suggestions please?

Ignore it and stop spamming MNHQ with reports regarding posts that aren't breaking guidelines and are just a different opinion to yours? Hmm

Schuyler · 11/10/2018 22:01

I have no issue with swearing. I can imagine it’s a bit unpleasant if you’ve reported 30 odd times all with sweary language. Perhaps it came across as more aggressive than you intended?

MacNcheese87 · 11/10/2018 22:02

'Mods. are volunteers who shouldn`t have to take it.
....
Not they’re not. Not on MN. They’re paid employees. The voluntary bit is what the Night Watch do, and what we all do by reporting.'

I get paid for my job. I don't get paid to receive verbal abuse 30 times in 5 minutes, particularly when the abuse isn't even to do with me personally.

Maybe be more creative with your insults. Swearing isn't funny on its own. Not unless you're a 7 year old boy shouting 'ball bags!' while hoping the teachers don't realise it was you.

But if you want applause for swearing. Well done.

Original poster
XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 22:02

Personal attacks are breaking the rules, they were being absolute arseholes I assure you Hayles88!

OP posts:
Hayles88 · 11/10/2018 22:03

You've posted examples, the posts are blunt but just a different posters opinion. I don't need you to assure me, I read the thread.

tillytrotter1 · 11/10/2018 22:04

I think they were right.

You mean there is actually a limit on the foul-mouthed Anglo-Saxonisms used? I've often wondered how often some of the language used casually on these pages is 'accidently' used in the presence of children, especially by the perfect mummies!

TwitterQueen1 · 11/10/2018 22:04

OP, Americans would of course say 'cuss' because they can't speak or spell proper English Wink LIGHTHEARTED, PEOPLE.

I'm guessing you're young if you're not familiar with 'curse' - 'swear' is obviously in more common usage, though I think 'curse' embraces blasphemy, which 'swear' doesn't.

I think that if I opened my inbox and was faced with multiple:
fucker
wanker
creepy fucker
goady fucker ..... etc etc

..... I'd want my gin sooner rather than later.

DuchessThingy · 11/10/2018 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 11/10/2018 22:07

I’m more than happy to swear in threads and in life but I wouldn’t swear in a communication with someone like MNHQ. I even drop the fucker from goady fucker. It just seems wrong to swear in that context.

Original poster
XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 22:11

We will have to agree to disagree then Hayles88 and if you read the thread then you saw how many others thought unacceptable personal attacks were going on.

BTW round here the curse is another term for period.

Duchess that is fucking awful! I hope it wasn't here? I have never insulted mods and often thank them. Mine has always been a loving relationship with HQ and I hope it continues that way.

Obviously I replied that I will use different language in future and made good because offence was never the intention.

OP posts:
Botanicbaby · 11/10/2018 22:14

YABU.

I feel sorry for the mods. Imagine every user reported 30 or so posts from the one thread just because they disagreed with them. And having to read each report full of your bile about them. Great Hmm