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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked that HQ told me off for swearing?!?

156 replies

XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 20:24

Not a TAT but will probably be deleted shortly regardless!

Long standing mner (I remember when all this were fields).

The day before yesterday there was a pile on in a single parent thread. It went on and on, real shit sandwich meanness directed at the op. Lots of supportive posters telling the unsupportive sorts to back off and OP rightfully pointed out that there was a lot of good advice too. I pmd OP and decided to report all the crappy posts to HQ so hopefully by morning the OP would have a nice shiny supportive thread to wake up to.

I cut and pasted most of my reports which consisted of "wanker" or "nasty vicious fucker" and got as many as I could before going to bed. It was a pile on, there was a lot.

I got an email from MNHQ yesterday telling me off.

Here it is;

Hi there XXPowerShield,
Thanks for all your reports, we are going to look at that thread now. We might ask the favour, though, that in future you stick to reporting for guidelines that are being broken because while we have no objection to swearing on the boards, 30 or so curse-laden reports weren't that pleasant for our staff to start their day with.
Best,
Hope
MNHQ

I am shocked, in the past when I have apologised for overly verbose sweary reports I have been told not to worry, HQ love the swearing. AIBU to be a bit Hmm at this response? Some of my reports were deleted but loads left standing including such gems as -

knowing that you were in this situation with three kids you decided to have another with someone who was not a DH, a life partner, who was clearly not able to support his child and neither were you.

I'm amazed at how little thought many women put into having babies...often with men they hardly know.

You didn't have to have four children with two deadbeats.

I wouldn't say the system is set up to fail, I would say that being a single mother with four children is intrinsically a losing situation to be in

what I dont get is if they were all wanted how comes the fathers dont bother

you decided to have another child when you already had ...You've made your situation worse,

I wasn't the only one annoyed by the stirrers on the thread (but maybe the only one who reported a bunch of nasty vicious fuckers to HQ).

I weep for humanity after reading some of these replies. ...One question to the benefit bashers do you want to live in Dickensian Britain?

I feel like I have missed a memo but am currently composing my reply to HQ but really how does one respond to the phrase "curse-laden"?!?

OP posts:
Elephantinacravat · 11/10/2018 21:27

Window licker?! Shock

Bluntness100 · 11/10/2018 21:27

No I wouldn't want to start my day with it either, I mean we use mumsnet for fun, so we read a variety of posts. The mods have to read the bad ones. All day long. Let's not add to that by making them read not only the bad ones, but the actual reporting posts full of calling people expletives too. I mean cmon.

And as most of the ones you reported stood,,,you maybe got a bit over excited by the whole thing.

AgnesBrownsCat · 11/10/2018 21:29

I think you were wrong to report those comments . I read the thread you’re referring to and tbf the op did make a bad situation worse . Pointing that out doesn’t make someone nasty.

surferjet · 11/10/2018 21:30

You reported 30 posts in one night?

Crikey.

Original poster
XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 21:30

Most of my reports were acted on I think.

OP posts:
eelbecomingforyou · 11/10/2018 21:30

Just say ‘troll’ when you report. I wouldn’t have liked all your reports either. Too aggressive. Also, ironic that you are reporting people yet using worse language than they did!

senua · 11/10/2018 21:32

MNHQ have a duty of care to their employees. Why should Mods have to put up with your swearing just because you think it's Big and Clever.
If you went into a bank or a hospital with that sort of language it would not be tolerated and you would be shown the door quick smart.

BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 21:32

The consensus seems to be in favour of HQ’s action. Good.

Imagine being proud of swearing a lot?!
Wow.

Bluntness100 · 11/10/2018 21:32

Most of my reports were acted on I think

Really? Because in your op you just say some and that loads were left standing.

I guess it's hard to tell when you report thirty.

MacNcheese87 · 11/10/2018 21:32

You sound a bit goady OP.

BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 21:32

The OP needs lessons in manners and irony.

BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 21:34

Hmmm. Mixed messages now from the OP regarding how many posts were deleted left whatever...

🙄

speakout · 11/10/2018 21:34

HQ were right.

You sound a bit off kilter.

BrightonGallery7 · 11/10/2018 21:35

What a way to spend a night - reporting 30 posts. Dear me

inmyfeelings · 11/10/2018 21:36

I think it was incredibly kind of them not to ban you altogether

Bluntness100 · 11/10/2018 21:36

Did you use a new offensive term in each report op, or did you shake it up and use thirty different ones,

Do tell.

thisneverendingsummer · 11/10/2018 21:38

Like I said to the OP.... do you not have anything better to do?!

SomeKnobend · 11/10/2018 21:41

What the fuck? If you're a website moderator and you're offended by swearing, you're in the wrong job! In fact if you're a grown up and you're offended by it, you're a wiener, grow the hell up and get over it. It's an expressive way to communicate and it's part of our language.

Original poster
XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 21:42

SomeKnobend, next round is on me x

OP posts:
ashtrayheart · 11/10/2018 21:43

Agree, this a bit odd and unnecessary (your multiple reporting I mean).

DuchessThingy · 11/10/2018 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
XXPowerShield · 11/10/2018 21:44

As explained multiple reports was to clean up pile on thread.

So in short stick to Troll?

OP posts:
MacNcheese87 · 11/10/2018 21:44

If you swear at someone repeatedly who isn't actually involved in any of the comments on the thread involved, then that makes you a bit of a tit.

Swearing IS funny in the right context, but swearing is not funny on it's own.

Repeatedly swearing is boring and tiresome.

BoreOfWhabylon · 11/10/2018 21:47

No, don't switch to troll, just dial back the swearing a bit. Bitchplopper and GF covers most of the nastier piler-onners.

TwitterQueen1 · 11/10/2018 21:47

I may have got this wrong [shock horror - so unMN to even consider the possibility] but your reports used language that would be worthy of reports if they were real posts? eg, you reported a post and just put 'wanker' in the 'why are you reporting' box? Can you not see why that is offensive? Wanker is an offensive insult and should absolutely be reported if it is in a post, yet you think it's ok to say this an a report? ?????

Right .... Hmm