Utter snobbery

[ScattyPenny]

This may be old news and I apologise if it's been done to death already. I know it's not a new thing.

My friend has a daughter who has just started at a prestigious Russell group uni. My son is at a regular uni.

My friend showed me pictures of her daughter wearing a T-Shirt on a night out bearing the slogan 'Your Dad works for my Dad'. It was for a student night out in which students from the local 'poly' and the 'proper' university were attending. Obviously it was an antagonistic slur on those attending the 'lower rated' university.

I'm from a working class background and struggled to get to university and I'm very proud of my achievements and of my son having got to where he is. I was the first in my family ever to get a degree and I went to a new university (old poly). I went to a state school and my parents worked hard but never in well-paid jobs.

AIBU to think that this smacks of class snobbery?

Many kids at decent universities will have got there through hard work and determination but many will have had the benefits of private education, middle class values and educated (and supportive) parents.

Personally I think it stinks. My friend however thought it was funny.

Sad as it sounds, the slogan probably rings true for many of the students. However, it must seem like a kick in the face in an 'I've got somewhere you'll get because you're poor' kind of way.

Sorry...just needed to vent.

My DC are at, have been to elite universitys. They also went to elite, private schools. I have never before heard of this and as far as I am aware my dc and all their friends would be horrified and would not participate in anything like it. They are all too well brought up and respectful of the value of intellect to do so.

It's fake news. Hopefully.

I’m glad to hear that. I was at a prestigious university and no one would have worn something like this.
I do wonder about younger people these days. Half of them whining about how offensive it is to have to hear any opinion that differs from their own, the other wearing horrible t shirts and posting vileness on social media.
They seem an odd bunch.

I think it's maybe social media showing an artificial "framed" version of the world. It's life but not as we know it!

I barely recognise my nephews and nieces on the bits of their social media they or their parents show me. Yes I know I sound out of touch..

Snobbery and also sexism. Let's hope none of the t-shirt wearers ever go into politics - apart from the snobbery those photographs would mysteriously re-emerge I should think!

Good point. They are so stupid. I mean, I was stupid when I was young - I thought I knew everything and I knew jack shit - but I wasn’t that daft. I also thought it was important to try and be a nice person.
Wtf is wrong with these kids?

The Poly fights back with football and being prettier? confused I can see the RGs weeping into their cornflakes over that hmm.

No one was weeping over anything. It was all good fun. Thankfully we were all mature enough to understand banter. And this was only a couple of years ago!

Did you need a trigger warning??
Stop trying to make this thread about you!

Mymoms what a strange comment . Pardon me, I just thought this was a discussion ...

@crazmas ahhh banter. That wonderful word often used regarding offensive behaviour or language to make those who are offended feel like they lack a sense of humour........sexist joke - it's only banter , joke about poor people - it's only banter 🙄

I live in an area where there are old established public schools. The boys from there charmingly refer to those from the state schools as povos, which according to the urban dictionary means cheap or poor. I dont think this is friendly banter, its more arrogance and snobbery combined with an unearned sense of self importance.

Crazmas, just because they didn't get upset in front of you doesn't mean it didn't affect their mental health. Like I said, I know someone who attempted suicide because of bullying over the university she went to. She never cried in front of the bullies. Telling someone they're thick and going to be unemployed isn't "banter", it's cruel.

totally tasteless, however, students are pretty much animals, can't expect much "class" there

Valanice I note you’re not concerned about the mental health of those at the RG uni? Like I said, the banter went both ways.

And it really only took place during Varsity - no one spoke like this outside of the events. So, the bullying you mention seems seperate to these events (atleast at the City I was in).

I have no doubt that some people (both at RG and poly) are d*cks, but I’m trying to explain that these social events really are a place for banter and fun. Those who attend the events participate fully.
If you know your kids are easily offended, perhaps you can suggest they don’t attend. Though they should know what to expect beforehand as the hype builds up, so hopefully they’ll know to stay clear if it’s not their scene.

Sorry @crazmas these types of event are only 'banter' and 'fun' to people who don't understand or appreciate the deep rooted inequalities that still exist in the UK higher education system. Behaviour like this contributes hugely to this.
It's absolutely disgusting.

I agree about the 'banter'.

Banter, for a long time (as stated by previous posters), was the excuse given by racists, sexists and homophobes....

"Nice tits love...what? Sorry you took offence...just banter."

My workplace is almost a microcosm of the class system. My boss is VERY middle class. Middle management are upper middle class and, guess what?........cleaners and canteen staff are all working class with strong regional accents. This is absolutely not unusual. The vast majority of work places mirror this.

Why have we normalised this??

It's SO entrenched that I would be shocked if I went to the canteen and was served lunch by someone with a middle class voice (unless of course they were a student).

I, personally, have never visited the GP and been seen to by a DR who had a strong regional local accent. I have never met a middle class, privately educated refuse collector or supermarket shelf stacker.

Why do we just accept this as the norm? Equality of opportunity is a myth. Very rarely do we encounter people who buck the trend.

The amount of talent we ignore by assuming that the poor aren't worthy is detrimental both to the individuals and society as a whole. Why should the jobs that require educated workers be dominated by people of privilege?!

The sheer arrogance (as others have stated) of those who have got to red brick/RG universities to sneer at those who haven't is sickening.

Going back to my place of work...the competence, work ethic and people-skills of those who work in 'low grade roles' absolutely shits on those of the higher ranking employees and if I were employing people know where I would go to find workers!

Scatty - totally agree with your post. Right to almost the point re where the grafters are. There are some grafters in graduate roles and even in roles where a post graduate qualification is required, but it tends to be in certain industries (healthcare, law, certain areas of finance are the ones that come to mind).

I'm also posting on the 'fix the nhs' thread and I've commented there that imo nurses (which I was one) shouldn't need to be a graduate role, I feel it's lead to people who would make excellent nurses - in many cases better nurses - being excluded from the role.

I've worked in a wide variety of work places, the one which was the LEAST snobby about people's qualifications was the one in an industry where most of the employees are extremely highly qualified with multiple post-graduate qualifications, veritable alphabets after their names if they'd chosen to! Yet these were people who worked closely with other employees who were manual workers who often had barely scraped GCSE passes, and left school well before 18 - and not just worked with but in some cases in friendships even relationships with each other.

I'm not sure why it's the case in that industry. Perhaps a combination of feeling very secure in their intellect due to their qualifications, a need to collaborate well across the educational spectrum of the employees, the less qualified people also being very confident in their own skill set and being valued for it.

Sadly rare.

@ScattyPenny

I buck the trend. Am working class, from B'ham, went to a standard comprehensive school. I'm academic and went on to get a PhD in chemistry. I encountered all kinds of sneering and nastiness in the workplace in the UK, the worst when I worked in consulting.

My boss there was an (incompetent) public schoolboy, promoted way beyond his abilities due to network contacts. I routinely disagreed with him on technical issues and once he lost his temper and told me "you might have a PhD, but never forget, you're just a girl from Birmingham". Fucking arrogant cunt.

I left the UK not long after that and have never returned. Am married to a foreigner. Speak fluent French, which always throws the silver spoon-types in the UK, as their tiny minds just can't square a Brummie accent-holder also being a French speaker.

I'm of exactly the same opinion; the amount of talent that is lost to the country because the working class are overlooked, is legion.

Class is alive and well in the UK. I went to a lovely university and did a great course. Towards the end one of my friends said to me, "I nearly didn't approach you because you looked so neat and respectable, then you opened your mouth and I thought no one who sounds like that can be respectable" just for the record I would like to say that there are actually plenty of respectable Glaswegians even if I am not one of them. I was just one of only three DC who hadn't gone to a public or private school before uni so sounded like I belonged in the area I grew up in.

Scary, it’s a shame you are so angry.

I’m from a free school meals family, got a place at a grammar school, scraped a place at a poly, and have a business degree.
No old school network, single mum but have used my degree to secure a decent living.
I don’t fit in your categories. No affluent background, no supportive parents but a degree and I work my arse off.
Life is much nicer if you just ignore any elitist sneering. People only do it if they get a reaction. I try to see my colleagues as individuals, not stick labels on them. Equally I’ve been sneered at because I have a degree which, it seems, makes me elite.

The whole thing is absurd.

graphista I’m genuinely intrigued as to what your line of work is. It would be interesting (and encouraging!) to know ... 🙏

Tad outing have sent you a PM

DeltaG wow what an entitled pig.

@CharismamaMia yes indeed!

Such a bitter pill to swallow; that one that says, no matter how hard you try, how ’well’ you do, you'll always be considered inferior through accident of birth.

It's the reason I despise the Royal Family too.

DeltaG I do wonder if the Birmingham (i.e. thick, horrid accent) prejudice came into it as well, as I'm also from there and have had, "Well, you can take the girl out of Brum, but you can't take the Brum out of the girl" said to me in a derisive manner in similar circumstances.
Men who can't handle a woman knowing more than he does. Pathetic.