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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not share winnings with friend?

263 replies

flouiserain · 11/10/2018 14:37

Me and my friend went to the casino last night for a meal.
Every time I go I always give myself £20 to play on the slots.
My friend never puts money in herself but I always share,she says she doesn't have anything to put in (min stake is 50p ) but I always half winnings.
Once I won £750 and have her half.
Last night I put in the £20 and on my last spin won £40.
She proceeded to say I might as well withdraw the £40 and go halfys as it's better than loosing.
I said I wanted to play with the £40 as I would be back to where I started at £20.
She kicked off saying she could really use that £20 and I wouldn't win anyway.
Wibu here?

OP posts:
flouiserain · 12/10/2018 10:29

She has some issues which stop her working and she has been in a very very low place which was hard to see and support her.
She buys me birthday /Christmas gifts and is always a shoulder to cry on when I'm having a tough time.

OP posts:
Missingstreetlife · 12/10/2018 10:42

Credit card bills are not essential. Bad money management.
Ok to treat a friend occasionally but not to let it be expected
I bet you buy her gifts and listen too, when she needs it

Missingstreetlife · 12/10/2018 10:48

If you split the £20 stake and gave her half to play, I wonder would she split her winnings. Nb I don't think you should do this but I bet she would keep it.
Even a child knows that there's no such thing as a free lunch.

Snog · 12/10/2018 11:04

Do either of you have kids?
And are you both under 20?

cookiesandchocolate · 12/10/2018 11:14

But you didn't win 40, you won 20. Plus your 20 back. You could share ten and keep ten. But tbh I wouldn't share in the first place. Maybe if I had won over £100 then I would share £20. Your friend is being a cf of the highest order

flouiserain · 12/10/2018 11:21

I have 1 child she has no kids.
I wish I was under 20,I'm 33

OP posts:
TheNoodlesIncident · 12/10/2018 11:23

I appreciate you do get something back from the friendship but honestly, she is a being a leech and that isn't right!

I've been in the position of having very little money myself - like having a tenner to last the fortnight - but unfortunately that just means you don't get to go out that often. It's just the way it is. By all means treat her with vouchers and the like, but really stop the giving over of winnings. I can't believe she actually took the money from you and expects you to give her money! She has no right to expect that, no matter how skint she is.

NonaGrey · 12/10/2018 11:30

She’s your closest friend and you have fun together... as long as you are buying the food and paying her.

As soon as you refuse to pay her for her time it “doesn’t go down well”.

You are actually buying her friendship. I know you didn’t mean to and it wasn’t your intention but that’s where you are.

She’s good fun and a nice friend only as long as you pony up the cash.

What would happen if you said, let’s not go out tonight, I’ll come round to yours instead?

I bet there’d be a tantrum.

I’m sorry - you’re renting her. You need to stop. If she’s really your friend she won’t care.

Gemini69 · 12/10/2018 11:42

OP... ffs please promise us that this has STOPPED from today ?!

seriously... you are not responsible for this so called 'Friends' financial situation and it's not your responsibility to create financial balance with her between your other 'working' friends... you are allowed to have friends that have more money than She.... and it's not your place to fix this ... I also believe she is being untruthful about how much available cash she has .. why would she tell you she has money.. when you're paying and sharing the winnings for everything.. YOU are her Piggy Bank OP.... this is the most dreadful situation of ENTITLEMENT I've ever read..... Flowers

notapizzaeater · 12/10/2018 11:46

What would she do if you told her you couldn't afford it ?

She's def a cf !

Gemini69 · 12/10/2018 11:50

ans she plays the 'poor me' card way too frequently... she banks on it Hmm

slashlover · 12/10/2018 11:54

When you gave her the £375 did she appear the next week and allow you to pay for everything again? Did she even offer to pay for anything?

BiscuitsAndGravy · 12/10/2018 11:54

What the actual fuck?

TooTrueToBeGood · 12/10/2018 12:49

The funny thing about friends who take with enthusiasm when they're in need is that they invariably can't be seen for dust when the situation is reversed.

You're being taken for a mug OP. Stop thinking of the money as "winnings" for starters. Aside from the point already made that you're not accounting for losses it is still money, your money. I'd hazard a guess that you wouldn't have given her £375 out of your monthly pay so why on earth would you give it to her just because it came out of a fruit machine? Same goes for all the various other amounts.

WineAndTiramisu · 12/10/2018 12:58

Wow, I can't believe you shared the £750!

We used to go at uni, all put £5 on red or black and if we won it was used behind the bar.
I could understand you treating her to food and drinks that one time when you won big, but not every time and certainly don't split your winnings with this CF!

Norma27 · 12/10/2018 13:32

You do sound lovely.
I don’t work currently but my best friends all do.
They have all bought new cars in the last 6 months. My old banger is about to die. I feel slightly jealous they have nice cars and I don’t but that is life. I do not expect them to but me a car or give me their old ones! When we go out I would say I pay my way but they maybe treat me once in a while to coffee or breakfast. I payback by looking after their children if they need it in the school holidays. Sounds like this friend does nothing for you.

Similarly when I won my money in Vegas which I mentioned upthread, I was earning good money but did not share my windfall with anybody but very close family. Please stop letting her take you for a mug xx

Bluntness100 · 12/10/2018 13:42

I think you sound like a really nice friend. And as she's skint it's lovely you treat her to a meal and a night out.

But giving her half your winnings is a step too far, and her demanding the money from you is shocking.

She isn't a nice friend. What she's doing is shameful.

icelollycraving · 12/10/2018 16:42

Could you not just treat her to a cheap meal out instead of the casino? Takes away the whole winnings drama.

Persiangirl · 12/10/2018 16:47

She sounds frightful.

anniehm · 12/10/2018 17:03

Treating your friend to the meal because you won is fair enough (or drinks if less) but not giving her cash. If she doesn't contribute, no winnings

Sunflowersforever · 12/10/2018 17:26

Could you send me some money please, seeing as you’re giving it away?

Seriously, stop this nonsense. What a horrid user of a friend.

Carriecakes80 · 12/10/2018 17:29

I really really don't get this.

Why?? are you seriously loaded? lol. I have £20 to last me the week, for someone to expect half your winnings and leaving you with no profit at all, makes me wonder, are you sleeping with her husband?? Did you trash her car?? Are you feeling guilty over something so you give her half your money??

Look after your cash and stop going out with this 'friend'...she's taking you for a right mug!

Everyoneiswingingit · 12/10/2018 17:34

YANBU!

Bobaboutwhat · 12/10/2018 17:35

Erm...it sounds like she’s your child more than a friend - not that you would take a child to a casino but the whole sharing winnings thing with YOUR money....don’t get it!

Aprilsinparis · 12/10/2018 17:42

CF leech!

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