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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband has blocked me on social media?!

291 replies

LondonMummy1987 · 11/10/2018 14:30

Apologies in advance if I'm just being incredibly stupid or naive or paranoid! I'm not sure if i'm mad and unreasonable or not!

So I have just gone to upload a photo onto instagram, and tag my husband in it as it is a picture of our sons. I couldn't tag him.
I thought maybe he has deleted his instagram account (despite the fact that he uses it alot) so I searched for him and it came up that the account is private and I need to request to follow. (I couldn't see anything, not his bio or how many photos/followers he has)
I then logged out of insta and searched for him, and it came up that the account is private but did state how many posts/followers he has, as well as his bio.

The bio is another worry. It used to say "happily married father of two", now it just says "father of two".

Am I wrong to worry?! I don't know what to do. I haven't confronted him as we are both at work and he will just change it and make me out to be a nutter!

OP posts:
icannotthinkofauser · 11/10/2018 15:58

If you can't see anything atall ( number of posts, bio, followers etc ) then you've been blocked

icannotthinkofauser · 11/10/2018 16:02

agree with PP who said to make a fake account. I did this and caught out an ex after having suspicions.

I got a photo off the internet, made a fake name and made a private account and posted some photos and followed lots of people so it looked like a legit account, followed him and 10 mins later he private messaged and was trying to chat " me " up!

Chinks123 · 11/10/2018 16:03

Yes you’ve been blocked. I’ve seen it happen before (personal experience unfortunately) Sad All mention of a girlfriend and any photos were deleted, so that OW would think he was single.

I’m surprised he’s just blocked you so brazenly, how does he think he’s going to avoid you questioning it? Confused
In my case it was “eh I don’t know how that’s happened, ooh I must have been hacked, it won’t let me re add you.” Bollocks

veggiethrower · 11/10/2018 16:08

You mention you row a lot and he makes you feel paranoid.
That has no place in a healthy relationship. I think most couples do have the occasional row or heated words but it shouldn't be happening a lot.
Do you want to stay with him?

I do think it looks very suspicious - if he'd just blocked you and changed the bio to remove "happily married" it may have been in response to a row and he has forgotten to unblock you BUT removing all of your friends and family looks like a calculated act.

I wouldn't bother creating fake profiles and the rest, I'd be getting my finances organized in case he suddenly drops a bombshell or in case I decided that I wanted to end the marriage.

happypoobum · 11/10/2018 16:09

Oh yes, now Rhiannon mentions it, I have fallen for that old "Not on facebook" shite before...

Ducks in a row time just in case OP.

Jack65 · 11/10/2018 16:10

Lots of people have facebook profiles in names other than their own, primarily so that clients cannot look you up! But this soundss odd.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 11/10/2018 16:10

My ex did this before we split. He was pretending to OW that we had split and I was looking for somewhere new to live.

NorthEndGal · 11/10/2018 16:11

He is excluding you and erasing signs of you, that is never a happy thing
In your shoes, I'd need to have it out

Gemini69 · 11/10/2018 16:11

sounds dodgy OP.. sorry Flowers

Pizzaandwine1 · 11/10/2018 16:13

When my exH was cheating he didn't block me on social media but he did remove most evidence of him being with me and stopped posting new pics etc. He also changed all of his passwords, spent a huge amount of time on his phone, and I was randomly blocked by a woman he worked with (who turned out to be the one he was cheating with..)

Hopefully OP it's nothing but I think social media gives enormous signs...

Rhiannon13 · 11/10/2018 16:14

Lots of people have facebook profiles in names other than their own, primarily so that clients cannot look you up!

Oddly enough, my ex set up his in a fake name so his clients COULD look him up and befriend him without me knowing. He certainly knew how to get the most out of his job Hmm

DancingDot · 11/10/2018 16:15

I don’t have social media neither does my partner, because it causes so many problems

This is bonkers and all those blaming social media are seriously misguided. If someone wants to be a duplicitous bastard they will do it with or without social media. I always worry about those couples who "share" a social media page or who have "come off" social media. If you can't have social media and keep it in your pants then your problem IS NOT social media.

OP I'm not sure whether catfishing is the best thing to do - I reckon you'll feel better if you keep the moral high ground. What he has done is bad enough. Get your finances and paperwork sorted, confront him, and leave if that's what you want to do.

hellsbellsmelons · 11/10/2018 16:16

I'm sorry OP but this does not look good.
I hope you get some answers later.
But I fear they will not be what you want to hear.
Do you have joint accounts.
Can you check those?

Stompythedinosaur · 11/10/2018 16:17

This does not sound very good at all op, I hope you manage to resolve things.

How is your relationship other than this?

Rhiannon13 · 11/10/2018 16:22

This is bonkers and all those blaming social media are seriously misguided.

Social media just makes cheating a whole lot easier, that's all.

Rhiannon13 · 11/10/2018 16:24

OP I'm not sure whether catfishing is the best thing to do - I reckon you'll feel better if you keep the moral high ground.

This is what I was trying to get across, but possibly not very eloquently.

Cagliostro · 11/10/2018 16:25

Doesn’t sound good at all :(

NotUmbongoUnchained · 11/10/2018 16:29

Do you have an attractive friend that he doesn’t know that could follow him and let you know what he’s posting or liking on there?

missmoz · 11/10/2018 16:29

This is a pretty brazen way to end a relationship of a couple of months, let alone a fucking marriage.

LadyMarmyLard · 11/10/2018 16:29

That is a really bold move, especially as you say you use it all the time, of course you'd notice straight away!
I hate to say I suspect he is planning on full blown leaving. It sounds like the first move of him moving on.
Is he provoking a row? Be prepared x

mononoaware1907 · 11/10/2018 16:29

I would also set up a fake account and see where it goes to. Don't confront him just yet

DarlingNikita · 11/10/2018 16:30

I’m surprised he’s just blocked you so brazenly, how does he think he’s going to avoid you questioning it?

Yeah, I thought this. How does he think he'll pass it off?

Just ask him casually and see how he responds.

NicoAndTheNiners · 11/10/2018 16:32

I'd start looking to see if he's set an account up on Tinder to be honest!

Oysterbabe · 11/10/2018 16:32

What do you plan to do OP?

wineandwhine · 11/10/2018 16:35

Sounds dodgy to me. I would be fuming.