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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband has blocked me on social media?!

291 replies

LondonMummy1987 · 11/10/2018 14:30

Apologies in advance if I'm just being incredibly stupid or naive or paranoid! I'm not sure if i'm mad and unreasonable or not!

So I have just gone to upload a photo onto instagram, and tag my husband in it as it is a picture of our sons. I couldn't tag him.
I thought maybe he has deleted his instagram account (despite the fact that he uses it alot) so I searched for him and it came up that the account is private and I need to request to follow. (I couldn't see anything, not his bio or how many photos/followers he has)
I then logged out of insta and searched for him, and it came up that the account is private but did state how many posts/followers he has, as well as his bio.

The bio is another worry. It used to say "happily married father of two", now it just says "father of two".

Am I wrong to worry?! I don't know what to do. I haven't confronted him as we are both at work and he will just change it and make me out to be a nutter!

OP posts:
KeiTeNgeNge · 11/10/2018 23:50

It doesn’t sound good. I would start preparing so you are not caught out when he decides to leave you high and dry.

user1486250399 · 12/10/2018 00:06

Hope you're ok OP

AlbertWinestein · 12/10/2018 00:25

This is exactly what my friend's husband did prior to leaving her. He genuinely didn't realise we'd all twig that we'd been dropped. I definitely don't think this is a good sign. Sorry OP!

thighofrelief · 12/10/2018 00:59

How about......do nothing. If he's having an affair it will become evident at some stage.

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 12/10/2018 01:05

As Gaspode said “this bodes”
Not looking healthy op, sorry

thecosmicthrowaway · 12/10/2018 01:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Charliecatpaws · 12/10/2018 01:13

Please let us know what’s happening OP

Rtmhwales · 12/10/2018 01:46

Doesn’t sound good Confused

MumW · 12/10/2018 07:54

It doesn't look good.

I think it would be a good idea to check your finacial status and gather copies of any important documents before confronting him. It won't do any harm to have an escape route/back up plan in place. He's put you on the wrong foot so make sure you level the playing field before rocking the boat.

Good Luck. Flowers

Original poster
LondonMummy1987 · 12/10/2018 08:12

Hello everyone. Sorry for the delay in updating, I didn't have access to computer until now.

Thank you for everyone's comments, suggestions and well wishes. There are too many comments to respond to everyone individually but I am really grateful for everyone's input and have read them all. Just to clarify, I posted on netmums first but have noticed on there recently that there isn't a lot of responses to peoples questions and posts so I decided to give mumsnet a go too, and I have been overwhelmed by all of the advice and support on here, so I know I will stick to mumsnet in future.

I spoke to my husband last night. He said that he blocked me a few months ago when we had a row, and that he didnt want to see me or any of my family when looking on instagram as he was annoyed at me, and that he had forgotten to un-block me. Then brought up the old row (which was my fault). The fact that he turned it around onto me, and brought up the old row, and that I'm 95% sure I have looked on insta since the last row at his photos and wasn't blocked, makes me think that he is lying. So I am going to bide my time and take into consideration my children and think about what our future may or may not be.

Thank you all again for the help, support, love and advice, it has been really appreciated. xx

OP posts:
Feellikeimthemaid · 12/10/2018 08:16

So now he's realised he 'forgot' to unblock you, did he then unblock you?

I think all the previous advice about protecting money in a joint account, getting copies of important documents etc is spot on, so that you are prepared should there be a split.

Good luck OP x

ButchyRestingFace · 12/10/2018 08:18

I spoke to my husband last night. He said that he blocked me a few months ago when we had a row, and that he didnt want to see me or any of my family when looking on instagram as he was annoyed at me, and that he had forgotten to un-block me.

When I’m merely “annoyed” at someone, I don’t generally remove them and anyone connected to them from SM.

He doesn’t sound pleasant.

FullTimeYummy · 12/10/2018 08:19

Thanks for the update, sounds like you have your answer, best of luck

hellsbellsmelons · 12/10/2018 08:21

So are you now unblocked?
You know he's lying but I agree with biding your time.
Gather evidence if you can.
And what a manipulative asshole, to turn it around on you.
Have a long hard think about your future with this man.
But I do hope it all works out OK for you.

Fairylea · 12/10/2018 08:24

It sounds like he is using that argument as an excuse to distance himself and justify why he’s separating himself from you.

My now ex dh did this. We had a silly argument about something and he made it a much bigger issue than it normally would have been. Whereas before we would have talked it over etc that time he used it as a way to justify pulling away from me - and contacting his ex before me on Facebook who he subsequently left me for.

Original poster
LondonMummy1987 · 12/10/2018 08:25

Yes he has unblocked me now, and I had a look through. I didn't notice anything untoward but I will be keeping a closer eye on everything. I have all documents for everything, financial and otherwise, so I have all that in order. But thank you for the suggestions. I just need to figure out a plan and make sure my children are always put first, which I would always do anyway. x

OP posts:
Petalflowers · 12/10/2018 08:38

That’s encouraging he unblocked you straight away.

bubbles092 · 12/10/2018 08:40

If he has only just set his Instagram to private, I think it usually means followers have to request to follow him again? I think! Ask him outright.

MinnieRabbit · 12/10/2018 08:43

@bubbles092 - read the thread - she has confronted him!

Yonijust · 12/10/2018 08:44

Maybe he has unblocked you, because he has blocked whoever he needed to hide you away from.

Cat & mouse.

bubbles092 · 12/10/2018 08:44

Sorry I am new to Mumsnet I should have browsed through the thread first! Good that he has unblocked you, but I would still be very suspicious and wary of him.... hope you get to the bottom of this, whatever you decide to do x

Peridot1 · 12/10/2018 08:44

Hmm. I know you are suspicious now and will be keeping a close eye but I definitely don’t buy the ‘forgot’ to unblock you. I’ve had a falling out with a friend and she has blocked me and I’m reminded of it in various ways every time I use various SM sites. It’s not something you ‘forget’.

So whether he is up to no good or not he made a deliberate choice to block you and keep you unblocked.

Frankswife87 · 12/10/2018 09:05

Oh for God sake how imature! I've had some massive arguments with my DH but we have never blocked each other, I'm calling it bullsh#t

HandlebarTash81 · 12/10/2018 09:18

Oh OP. I’m sorry. Presumably you resolved that fight pretty quickly? I think it would have occurred to him to unblock you! You’d bloody hope, anyway.

Just out of interest, did he unblock you immediately or did he have a fair amount of time to edit.

Also, anyone who edits out that they’re happily married after a fight is a risk. You sound lovely, OP. Hope it’s okay and you get the respect you deserve.

cakecakecheese · 12/10/2018 09:21

Yeah I don't buy the 'forgot to unblock you' line either and if by some chance it is true then that's such a weird overreaction. I'm sorry he's treating you like you're an idiot, you're clearly not. I'm glad you've got wise to the gaslighting and you know you're not mad or paranoid. Keep vigilant, get yourself prepared and I hope you do get the stage where you can leave him as whether he's up to no good or not he's not treating you how you deserve to be treated.

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