WWYD Mother verbally bullying her children

[Nameynamechangeforthis]

I spend about half an hour every week at an activity for my DC's. There is another parent there with two of her 3 DC's. It seems to me that at best, she is struggling with parenting and at worst she is a massive bully. Every week she spends the entire session berating her children, in particular the eldest boy who is nine. She just goes on and on at them over something trivial until they cry. Today it was because they didn't offer her a sip of their drink. She was going on at them because they don't speak nicely to her (they do) In the course of the conversation the oldest boy was saying to her 'but you don't speak nicely to me, you're always shouting at me and you slap me and smack me and you pinched me'. He just sounded so sad. Her verbal bullying of them is absolutely relentless. She doesn't say anything so bad it's just a constant stream of 'if you can't be nice to me i'm taking your xbox away' when they really haven't done anything today.

I know their first names and school would I be unreasonable to email their school?

Report!!!!

Sounds horrible for an outsider & even more horrible for those poor kids.

Yes please do ring school but also ring your children's services. If there's nothing going on then they'll back off.

Makes me feel sad

I agree with greendale, except i would add that Portia is an absolute fucking idiot and i sincerely hope she has no contact with children at all. What a fucking moron.

If we all turned the other way where the fuck would some poor kids be? It is public emotional abuse. And for the other idiot suggesting OP is only seeing a snapshot, i would be more inclined to think if she behaves like that in public i dread to think what she's like in private.

Report. Report. Report.

Reporting is the thing. Do not agonise over who it should be to, just do it.

Apart from all the really useful advice about how to report and and merits of reporting in different ways, it has made an enormous impression on me hearing a number of posters say that their Mum was like this and they wish someone had said something. I think if you have been fortunate enough to never have experienced it first hand it is easy to assume 'it probably isn't that bad'.

This is emotional abuse. Very sad for those children. The family needs support and intervention at the very least. Please report to social services but I would also be tempted to discuss it will their school to - as a safeguarding concern.

but you don't speak nicely to me, you're always shouting at me and you slap me and smack me and you pinched me

Yes, report this to the school.

This will help build up a picture of what is going on. If every parent/teacher/lunchtime supervisor etc reports what they are concerned about, a picture can be built up, intervention can be put in place to help the mother, and ultimately the children.

On the other hand everyone could just ignore it, and these children will post on MN about their abusive mother and how they don't know why her behaviour was considered acceptable in 2018.

The mother might really want help but have no idea how to get it. Reporting it will help them all. Imagine if she was your sister.

I wonder who would actually be the best person to report to. There has been mention of SS and School and NSPCC.
I would be concerned about what this mother is doing in her own house where no one can see her if this is what she does in public. I would be concerned for OP in case the mother works out who made the report. She seems quite vocal and does not worry who hears her abusing the DC. I have seen quite a lot of that and fear puts me off doing anything. I see a person like this sometimes and it is not only the DCs who are shouted at. It is horrible and it puts the fear in me.

There has to be a stop put to this mother's nastiness to her DC. This mother may have more children at home.

When people say things like this, I always think that if parents behave this way in public, are they even worse in private?

Please report, it’s the right thing.

Good God! Wasn't Thatcher right when she said there was no such thing as society? I thought she was bonkers, but some here are so ignorant they'd rather risk children be completely ruined before they've left Primary. I'm appalled at your lack of interest in the society in which you live, the one you are shaping in which your own children will be cast. You probably think IDS is akin to God. You know, the guy who thought you could keep your family clothed, fed, cared for, bills paid etc even when living on subsistence and that tiny bit being reduced even further almost at a whim.

OP, better to report and be wrong than to be right but to remain aloof. Don't they say something about 'for evil to prevail you only need good men to do nothing'.

Don't be shy. You know you want to act and the sooner you do it the better.

I suspect that the people advocating the op mind her own business parent like that themselves, so see nothing wrong with it. Their poor kids!