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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be worried about neighbour's creepy behaviour?

252 replies

Amgelima · 10/10/2018 14:39

Yesterday I was outside with my 3-year-old boy who was playing in our back garden. He told me he needed to make a wee, so I told him to go by a cluster of trees/bushes towards the back of our garden. He ran over to the bushes and went about his business. The garden is fairly large, and the area where he made his wee was about 15-20 feet away from our back fence.

I then ran inside for literally 30 seconds to turn off the oven because the timer had gone off, leaving our french doors wide open. In those few seconds, my son started shouting for me and ran back towards the house. I stepped back out and he said, "Mama, there was a strange noise! That man scared me!" I looked where he was pointed and at the end of our garden (about 50 metres away) I could see over the fence the head of a man with white hair, prob anywhere from mid-50s to late-60s, walking slowly along the back of the fence (on his side). We have not lived in our current house for very long, so we have met a few neighbours but not the people who live behind us. The man was looking in our direction, almost as though trying to stare me down, so I looked back at him and he kept walking along the back of the fence, staring at us, and then finally turned and went away. I then asked my son to tell me again what had happened and he said the man had tried to talk to him in "a funny language" (not sure if my son really understands the word "language" to mean a foreign tongue he may have meant a funny voice it's really impossible to know as he is only 3). My son also said that apparently another little boy was there (I went and looked over the fence and saw no evidence of that). He kept saying the man had made a strange noise and tried to talk to him and that he was scared. My son is not easily frightened by people and is usually sociable.

Frankly I'm afraid the man is some sort of pervert and although I thought our garden was private I won't be allowing my son to wee in our bushes any longer. Perhaps I am over reacting and it was just an old man walking along the back fence -- but I do think that a normal person would have probably waved or called out "sorry I accidentally frightened your child" or something like that. I'm actually wondering whether I should get in touch with the police, just to put on record that there was a strange episode in case anything else happens in the future.

What do you think, mums? How would you handle this?

OP posts:
Digggers · 10/10/2018 23:20

My children piss in bushes! Sometimes the bushes don’t even belong to me!
I teach them that it’s always best to use a toilet, but if you are really desperate just make sure that nobody can see you ? As some folk get really uppity about people wearing in public. They are really good at hiding. They could probably wee in your garden and you’d never notice.

Digggers · 10/10/2018 23:21

*weeing

wherearetheguineapigs · 10/10/2018 23:31

Haylees Ok, I googled. Seems opinion is divided now on whether wee is actually sterile or not. So maybe it is not 100 per cent sterile? So, it stil isn't as nasty as a child doing a poo [boak] The OP is almost certainly fictional anyhoo.

wherearetheguineapigs · 10/10/2018 23:34

how is a paedophile going to be targeting a child in their own garden where their mother will most likely be able to see them? Seems crazy unlikely to me.

sizeofalentil · 10/10/2018 23:34

Wish I could wee in the garden - must feel lovely and free. Wouldn’t the rain wash it away before it started to smell anyway?

Good for the plants too.

PPs who are up in arms over a 3-year-old calling his mum ‘mama’ - really? You’re going to belittle and pick on the OP for this?!

Bouledeneige · 10/10/2018 23:35

I thought he sounded a bit creepy too. I don't quite understand him walking along a fence - was he on top of it or behind it?

The hysteria here in response to the peeing. I wouldn't personally encourage it but I wouldn't have gone so bonkers about it either.

notimaginingit · 10/10/2018 23:36

yolofish it was Sarah Miles - the actress you mentioned.
I remember watching her being interviewed (I think it was Wogan, years back) and talking about it.

The audience were just agog at why she was so pleased with herself and saw it as some kind of achievement.

I mean, just, why ?

yolofish · 10/10/2018 23:43

yes notimaging that's her! I think she was in Ryan's Daughter? she was quite flakey in lots of respects and I dont get the wee drinking either, but she appeared to be (relatively) thriving on it. I cant speak in the mornings before my cup of PG, perhaps I should consider the wee drinking? but given that I cant find my glasses most mornings and therefore unlikely to be able to find something to wee in, prob just best I put the kettle on...

wherearetheguineapigs · 10/10/2018 23:46

Bouldeneige

The staring bit sounds creepy but not really anything more than that IMO.

I do not understand what is wrong with using Mama instead of Mam or Mum? Plenty of countries use mama. No big deal.

wherearetheguineapigs · 10/10/2018 23:48

yolofish

prob best I just put the kettle on Don't use camomile tea, it looks and smells like wee

yolofish · 10/10/2018 23:51

snort guinea! yep, I'm a PG Tips girl!

ittakes2 · 10/10/2018 23:53

My eyesight is unfortunately not great - there is a chance he could not see you properly. I'm sorry but I think you are reading too much into this. If he was a pervert like you think, I suspect he would talk to your son and make himself scarce around you.

notimaginingit · 10/10/2018 23:54

yolo PG is where you’re going wrong .. it has to be Yorkshire tea all the way! 🙂

yolofish · 11/10/2018 00:00

sorry not you stick to your Yorkshire tea and I'll stick to my PG Tips - we can agree to disagree on this one (and the odd outdoors wee when sure I am unobserved!)

Angelf1sh · 11/10/2018 07:07

I’m too busy laughing at “although I thought our garden was private I won't be allowing my son to wee in our bushes any longer” to laugh at you for thinking it’s your neighbour who is the weird person in this dynamic 😂😂

I’m so glad I don’t live next door to you.

KittensAndCake · 11/10/2018 11:35

how is a paedophile going to be targeting a child in their own garden where their mother will most likely be able to see them?

Also, if a paedophile was targeting a child in their own garden, I doubt they would make a strange noise at them first Grin

PiggyPoos · 11/10/2018 11:46

My DS calls me mama sometimes of his own free will and he's definitely peed in a bush.

Shall I report myself to the police/social services or would any of you like to make the referral?

angieloumc · 11/10/2018 12:26

Not one person has said anything about police/SS for doing those things piggy. What a strange thing to post,

Wherearemycarkeys · 11/10/2018 13:48

My first thought was 'it sounds like a ghost!' and then my second thought was 'it was probably a human man wondering why a child was peeing in the garden'

Wherearemycarkeys · 11/10/2018 13:50

.... Or maybe he was a ghost? 👻

2ducks2ducklings · 11/10/2018 13:50

I will never understand parents letting their children wee in the garden! Totally understandable for small children when out and about and away from a toilet, but not in their own back garden where presumably they have fairly easy access to a toilet.

cricketmum84 · 11/10/2018 13:57

When he was potty training I would sometimes take him outside to reduce the indoor mess

Don't wee in the toilet darling it will make a mess! Go out by the piss bush instead.

The mind boggles.

DisrespectfulAdultFemale · 11/10/2018 13:59

Not one person has said anything about police/SS for doing those things piggy. What a strange thing to post,

It was the OP who brought up the issue of contacting the police.

Quote: I'm actually wondering whether I should get in touch with the police, just to put on record that there was a strange episode in case anything else happens in the future.

DisrespectfulAdultFemale · 11/10/2018 14:02

That said, no, I don't think the OP should report her son to the police for urinating in the garden. She should teach him to use a lavatory.

desertmum · 11/10/2018 14:04

Human urine is actually a great fox deterrent. When we lambed earlier this year I was worried about foxes taking our smaller lambs, so I got DH to wee at each end of the barn every evening by the doors (which need to be left open for air circulation to avoid diseases) to deter the foxes. It worked as all our lambs survived Smile

No weird neighbours tho. Although I suspect we may actually be weird neighbours.

No-one could see DH while he was weeing.

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