to be worried about neighbour's creepy behaviour?

[Amgelima]

Yesterday I was outside with my 3-year-old boy who was playing in our back garden. He told me he needed to make a wee, so I told him to go by a cluster of trees/bushes towards the back of our garden. He ran over to the bushes and went about his business. The garden is fairly large, and the area where he made his wee was about 15-20 feet away from our back fence.

I then ran inside for literally 30 seconds to turn off the oven because the timer had gone off, leaving our french doors wide open. In those few seconds, my son started shouting for me and ran back towards the house. I stepped back out and he said, "Mama, there was a strange noise! That man scared me!" I looked where he was pointed and at the end of our garden (about 50 metres away) I could see over the fence the head of a man with white hair, prob anywhere from mid-50s to late-60s, walking slowly along the back of the fence (on his side). We have not lived in our current house for very long, so we have met a few neighbours but not the people who live behind us. The man was looking in our direction, almost as though trying to stare me down, so I looked back at him and he kept walking along the back of the fence, staring at us, and then finally turned and went away. I then asked my son to tell me again what had happened and he said the man had tried to talk to him in "a funny language" (not sure if my son really understands the word "language" to mean a foreign tongue he may have meant a funny voice it's really impossible to know as he is only 3). My son also said that apparently another little boy was there (I went and looked over the fence and saw no evidence of that). He kept saying the man had made a strange noise and tried to talk to him and that he was scared. My son is not easily frightened by people and is usually sociable.

Frankly I'm afraid the man is some sort of pervert and although I thought our garden was private I won't be allowing my son to wee in our bushes any longer. Perhaps I am over reacting and it was just an old man walking along the back fence -- but I do think that a normal person would have probably waved or called out "sorry I accidentally frightened your child" or something like that. I'm actually wondering whether I should get in touch with the police, just to put on record that there was a strange episode in case anything else happens in the future.

What do you think, mums? How would you handle this?

Surely the strange noise he made was that inadverdent “eurgh” noise one sometimes makes when startled by something unusual and a bit ew. Or maybe he has poor vision. A lot of conclusions to arrive at before “pervert!”. YABU. And my DC have had to go outdoors in emergency situations before but not as a regularly done thing at their own home. That’s disgusting.

1. Peeing outside when thereis no need is really scummy
2. The elderly gentleman is probably now wondering what kind of manky people he is now living next to
3. As far as I'm aware wandering in ones own garden and even making sound is not against the law
4. Perverts don't tend to hang about all day in the off chance a small child will be there and expose themselves
5. The police have actual crime to deal with and actual real life creeps to arrest

You sound like hard work.... I'm glad you're not my neighbour.

Who really cares about a toddler having a wee in a Bush in his own garden?

You are all being ridiculous.

I can't see anything to be hugely concerned about regarding the man though.

There is a difference between a toddler doing a wee spontaneously in the garden (and yes, most of us will have been there) and actually telling your to use the garden instead of the toilet whilst you nip inside to the kitchen.

Surely the normal thing is to take the child in the house to the toilet when they actually tell you they need a wee? Especially if you are going inside anyway.

Children that age often hold it and get really desperate really quickly it really isn't the biggest deal in the world is it?

Not enough to be called scummy/scutty/disgusting throughout the thread

Though I'm super hard LOLLING at the poster fretting about the PH in the soil.

I can tell you now both my sons had more than a few al fresco garden wees and they certainly aren't pissing all over their school playgroup.

I am with PiggyPoos (great name btw- did you know there is a Guinea Pig Rescue in the US called PiggyPoo?) on this one. Urine is sterile. Now if the child was being encouraged to POO outside then I would be like "yuk." I hate reading those threads where children in public are encouraged to poop in potties where people are eating. Bleurgh and double bleurghhhh.

Usually when men wee in the streets it is because they are drunk off their man tits on cheap cider. Very little to do with parenting.

He was probably telling him to use the toilet

although I thought our garden was private I won't be allowing my son to wee in our bushes any longer.

I think that’s best all round.

How do you manage to get anything done if a neighbour looking in your garden warrants concerns and police ringing?

@wherearetheguineapigs it's not sterile.

OP he was probably staring because he couldn't believe his ears and eyes...

Urine is not sterile

As I said on p.3, it's just a little boy having a wee in the bushes! He will no doubt turn into the kind of lout that pisses on the High Street after 97 pints of cider, and it's ALL the OP's fault because he calls her 'mama'. Sorry you got such a hard time OP.

Gineau pigs.

It's irrelevant if it's sterile or not, it's OPs fucking bush.

This faux outrage at a 3 year old having an outdoor wee is killing me.

I must admit am very surprised that the child did not just go in the loo, maybe the OP has a massive massive garden though and the loo was very far away

PiggyPoos I know, the pearl clutching is very OTT. I personally think the OP is OTT though in her reaction to the man. Kids of 3 get scared by very random things. I was scared of being flushed down the plughole at that age. It is best to just brush it off as kids being kids.

You can drink your own urine, if you felt the desire. It's unlikely that one little boy doing the odd wee in the garden is going to completely destroy plant life, human life, manners, the social fabric of our society etc etc

(feel the need to admit that my garden is huge, and very private. If I am 500 yds away from the house, no one can see me and I need a quick pee then damn right I'll go there and then!)

yolofish

you can drink your own urine I have no desire to, but yes, I agree. Sterile. Harmless.

drinking your own urine is one way that people stranded in environments without water survive. I mean, I dont plan to do it myself, but its just wee? There was a very famous actress years back who drank her own every morning. Personally I like a cup of PG Tips!

urine is sterile

Don't make things up! What a stupid thing to say.

OP your neighbour probably was disgusted by the grotty behaviour. None of my children (male or female) have "made a wee" outside, we have a toilet. It is not normal behaviour and I'm sure most people would be taken aback to see a kid being instructed to wee in the garden rather than walk into their house and use the toilet. It's just lazy, he's a human not wildlife.

it's OPs fucking bush.

No wonder the man gave her a funny look.

@wherearetheguineapigs

Have a quick Google of the guff you're saying.

as for made a wee I think it is possible that English is not the OP's first language, eg in French if talking to a small child, 'faire un pipi'. So to criticise her for that is not really on either.
pmsl at soupdragon!!