To not want to clean for a male client?

[AsdaTesco]

Ok, hear me out first. I put an ad on gumtree, Nextdoor app and Facebook. People started to text me saying they were looking for a cleaner. Great, one person texted me from gumtree on my number. I didn't know if it was a man or woman at first, found out later he was a man. Saying he was looking for a cleaner etc, anyway I saw his picture on whatsapp and it put me off, not a bad picture but it made me feel uncomfortable. So I didn't respond to him anymore.

Anyway two lovely ladies contacted me on the nextdoor app, I'm due to see them next week. But it got me thinking, AIBU to feel uncomfortable cleaning for a male client? What are other cleaners view on this? And how do you deal with it? Not saying I'm refusing to clean for a male client, but what can I do to feel comfortable about it?

As a woman I feel so uncomfortable and vulnerable when men respond to my ad online saying they need a cleaner, to go into their homes and not know what they're capable of. At least with a woman I feel comfortable. Someone else texted me today, but I don't know if it's a man or woman, AIBU to ask? Would you be offended?

Looking forward to hearing from you guys.

I'm a firm believer in trusting your gut better to be safe than sorry.

It may be that you just feel uncomfortable because he is a lone male or you are picking up on something not quite right.

I’m completely that anyone could think the OP needs to notify people of her religion and the fact that she wears a hijab.

Y’all realise that’s not normal right?

How would her faith and clothing stop her from cleaning?

Ffs it’s 2018 not 1958.

Asda Thank you so much for your kind wishes. My husband is indeed very caring for my safety.

I do know a lot of cleaning business owners and we all do acknowledge that it is risky to enter a home with a male occupant. As well as our own safety we have to scope out the job to make sure we feel it a safe working environment for our staff too. It's an issue that we cannot ignore when we are responsible for the safety of both ourselves and those who work for us in clients' homes.

I think there are a lot of naive people here who think 'oh it'll never happen', well maybe it won't, but it might do and even with a hundred times where it's fine, it only takes one time to change your whole perspective on life forever. Or in the case of Suzy Lamplugh, she never came back.

OP, I think you are very wise, you have your head screwed on and therefore I feel you will exercise due caution as you go, and that you will be ok. I wish you all the best in your venture.

Look after yourself and be successful.

I'm a self employed cleaner. I'd speak to him on the phone first to get a feel of what he's like. If he seemed ok I'd then go to his house but take someone with me and have them wait in the car.

I'm often in a house with the husbands and it's mostly fine. I've only had one little problem when the woman I clean for husband told me I was beautiful when he was drunk, he's having a few problems but his wife mainly works from home so I never feel threatened. It's just a bit awkward now!

I was also a part time carer for a man with learning difficulties he was so lovely but did tend to try to cross the line at times. We got along great once I'd told him off.

I don't think it is odd not to want to go to a total strangers home and clean if that person is male and you feel uncomfortable, that's not odd to me.

I don;t think wearing a hijab is a factor but it may be for you.

At the end of the day you do not need to say why you are not available. You can just say you have enough customers now and you do not have any more capacity. Actually, I would say that probably to avoid him being hurt to avoid him making a fuss.

100% agree with Mustang27
"I'm a firm believer in trusting your gut better to be safe than sorry."

Your safety trumps political correctness.

The beauty of being self-employed is you get to choose which work you take, no questions asked. You are not taking public money, so you don't have to provide indiscriminate cleaning services for all and sundry.

Having someone wait outside within view of the occupant when he opens the door is sensible. Trust your gut. Don't be afraid to offend if you wish to turn it down, giving excuses of course.

I can't remember who said this, but another pp made an interesting point about online dating. You'd never suggest a woman goes to the mans house on a first date for safety reasons, but you can't understand why I would feel uncomfortable going to a random mans house who I've just met on gumtree?

im a cleaner too, OP. While I wouldn't have a blanket policy of never working for men, I have turned down, or quit, several jobs because the (male) householder made me feel uncomfortable. Your safety has to come first. I just say that my she duke has changed and I can no longer fit them in. Apart from the one who thought it was fun to deliberately let me catch him watching porn while I was cleaning- I told him exactly why I was quitting!

@blueshoes I don't have anyone who can come with me, so I'm alone on this one. That's why I'm so cautious tbh

She duke? SCHEDULE! Wtaf autocorrect?

OP, if you are alone, you are entitled to be extra cautious particularly if your gut is already saying something is off.

You need to find a different line of work.

Why, Charolais? Are you blissfully unaware of the fact that there are some scummy, pervy men out there? The sort who want "naked cleaning services?" Providing one-on-one, unaccompanied cleaning in a client's home rather than a neutral workplace is a whole different ball game from, say, being employed as a cleaner in a school. It's perfectly acceptable to vet clients. In fact I'd go so far as to say anyone so naive that they did not do so should probably be the one going for a different line of work, as their naivety is likely to render them vulnerable.

She does not need to find a different type of work at all.

We currently have over 120 regular clients, we are not cheap and charge almost double what some of the cheaper services charge (we have to as margins are tight at this end of the market) and whenever I am fortunate enough to add someone to our staff I do need to fill that persons schedule with work as soon as their training is over, but demand is very high in the domestic cleaning industry and I have no trouble at all even though I am very discerning as to where is and isn't a suitable job site for our valued staff.

It's not just about who can come up with the money and will pay our prices it's also about who will provide a job site in line with our health and safety policy. I am responsible for their welfare and if I wouldn't work there then I never expect them to.

There are far too many potential domestic clients to worry about working where you don't wish to for ANY reason.