I think it’s really mean to bring up the OPs previous thread and castigate her on here for it. She obviously got a good kicking on that thread - why do some people feel the urge to do it again?
She’s obviously suffering intently. Yes, isn’t it easy to criticise and tell her how lucky she is - but when you are depressed and fixated on something, unable to move forward you generally cannot see the wood for the trees.
OP - you sound very very despressed to me. Please go and see your GP and tell him how you feel. Your GP should be able to prescribe something to lift your mood. You need to keep going with the counselling but maybe try a new counsellor since your current one isn’t achieving much.
Get yourself out - don’t sit feeling sorry for yourself. Go early Christmas shopping with your DC. Look at booking a holiday for nextvyear . Get things booked into your diary that you enjoy doing that you can look forward to. If you start looking forwards a bit more you might not look back as much.
Spend time with your child. Let your mind accept that while you will never have that much wanted second child you have got one who will always need you. Don’t waste any more time mourning what never was when you could be in the here and now with your child .
When you start to feel better how about some voluntary work with children? Or fostering? There’s many ways in which you could help unfortunate children - this might be your path in life. Maybe you are going to be a huge positive influence on some ( as yet unknown) child - who knows where life will take us! Try to stop looking back. Look forward.
My mother lives her life by this “ what we cannot change we have to accept”. This is so true. We HAVE to accept certain things in life - the good and the bad. I had to accept my son was never coming back the day I buried him. I HAD to accept this. I learned to live with it by trying not to think about him constantly. I HAD to let him rest in peace in order to give myself 100% to my healthy, living, breathing , wonderful daughter. I would be doing her, my son and myself an 8njustice by doing anything else.
Now - have a good cry then go and wash your face. Look at yourself in the mirror and say that “NO MORE” will you give any more of yourself to being immersed in the past. Make an appointment at your GPs . Phone your child and arrange a shopping trip /lunch with them -say how much you love them.
Today is a beautiful day to let go of this emotional load which is dragging you down and stepping into the beautiful autumn sunshine.
Good luck.