Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

[fifithefoof]

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting!

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

Well that's the thing Hen. You think they sound far from lovely, they think some of the posters on here don't sound very nice or admirable.

We have very opposite views on this. I'm expressing one viewpoint on here, you have another.

Lydiaatthebarre

What age group were these friends?

They ranged from mid thirties to mid fifties, and were both male and female.

Yep, the people getting the most worked up on here seem to me to be the op and her more vehement supporters.

I don’t think there are high and low numbers, as long as a person is comfortable with what their number is and doesn’t regret it. My number is what most would consider very low, but I met the right person at that time and have been with him for the last 8 years. Friends who have been single longer generally have higher numbers, and I have some friends who would laugh at how low 50 is because they’re into casual enounters. Each to their own, as long as they’re safe.

I list count too.I first has sex aged 18 and was busy until in my mid 30s.Married at 38 and that's it,only the one since.
I don't think that anyone would have known or guessed and I certainly don't feel disgusting.And all encounters sober,I have a rule to not sleep with people when drunk as it's not as good and I've seen to many friends make that mistake.

Your disgust at people like me that have had many sexual partners, where does this stem from? Subconsciously are you perhaps worried you’ve missed out? Does it make you feel inferior that you’ve not been persued more? Or is it simply that you don’t think women should ‘sleep around’ and that it makes us slags or similar? I’m curious.

"Does it make you feel inferior that you’ve not been persued more?"

Why does not being promiscuous mean not being persued [sic] more?

Everyone who says I'm being unreasonable get sworn, sneered at?

Have you read the full thread? I've sworn at ONE person because they had consistently been spiteful then started to make things up I hadn't even said.

A few people have said I'm being unreasonable, I've had a polite discussion with most of them.

It's quite astonishing how certain people on Mumsnet completely change facts to suit their narrative and shut dont anyone that doesn't agree with them.

That's why it's attracting an amount of feeling, many women are fucking sick of being told how they should conduct themselves and shamed for their choices.

And it's interesting how a lot of posters that moan about swearing are the ones who think more than a couple of sexual partners is 'disgusting'.

Yep, the people getting the most worked up on here seem to me to be the op and her more vehement supporters

You cannot be serious...It's you and some others that are determined to shove your opinions down other peoples throats...but pretending 'I'm not judging'.

People who think ibu have used some pretty nasty and derogatory words towards myself and people who are in agreement with me.

Maybe that's why we're the ones getting more het up, we feel secure enough to not put people down for their choices.

Fifi

I've given you an answer to your original question. You are free to discount it, but if you ask a question you won't always hear the answers you want.

Anyhow, I've given you my answer and am not hanging around to be harangued by the small number of posters on here who refuse to accept that not everyone shares their view on this and that yes, some people do think having multiple sex partners is not a desirable way to live your life.

the people getting the most worked up on here seem to me to be the op and her more vehement supporters

This.

I also think it’s perfectly possible to find something distasteful without wasting a lot of thought on it and without ‘pearl-clutching’.

I think EVERYONE that's posted in agreement with me has voiced that they really don't care how many partners anyone has had.

In start contrast to people who disagree who've been, at best, judgemental and sometimes downright spiteful.

Fifi
I'm talking about a small amount of posters who refuse to accept that other posters have a different view and become angry and defensive; not the ones who've agreed with you but also not attacked the posters that don't.

Maybe that's why we're the ones getting more het up, we feel secure enough to not put people down for their choices.

You see, I was actually thinking the exact opposite while reading this thread. While some of the derogatory language has been thoroughly unpleasant, I don’t think you’re coming across as very secure in your choices at all. The arguments have gone from perfectly reasonable “it’s my choice” to “how would you know about having good sex?”, “you must be pretty thick” and “well you’re the one who’s single”.

It’s not been great on either side, but yours is the one which seems most adamant they are right.

I think you'll find the overwhelming majority of the thread think it's nobody else's business and aren't 'disgusted'.

I did think we'd come further than this though so am a little disappointed!

And that anyone who disagrees is thick or doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

They're becoming angry and defensive because they're being insulted and sneered at.

“Disgust” is a strong word and it is a little judgey tbf. But I have found parts of this thread “distasteful” too. I’ve alreay mentioned the parts I mean; mainly the “you’re a legend”, “you must envy all the posters who have fucked the most people” blah blah yawn. It sounds, as someone else said, like some of the men I used to despise.

I've never called anyone 'thick'. Has anybody else?

Seeing as I've not noticed this at all I find it hard to believe 'And that anyone who disagrees is thick or doesn’t know what they’re talking about.'

I agree Stonebake.

Not to mention that unless you’ve had a high number of partners you’re obviously undesirable, insecure and jealous 🙈

They feel judged for their choices. I totally get that. But as I think we’ve done to death, someone will have opinions at some point on the spectrum from the super liberal / shag as many as you can and celebrate that to the you’ve never had good sex or at least you couldn’t possibly know as you haven’t had enough partners.

No Micro, having to put people down and insult them indicates you could be insecure and jealous.

It has been implied that at least two posters must be lacking intelligence because they disagreed with the majority.