Is there a Rebecca Humphries thread? Her public statement about the end of her relationship is awesome.

[bluetrampolines]

I will try and link. I love that she took the cat!

I'm sure I remember some interview where he commented his name was Sean on his passport but Seann was his 'showbiz' name.

@CuriousaboutSamphire - I see the basic facts as I've laid them out at this point. Without knowing further details I can't say whether any of the things we've seen are unacceptable.

@CurbsideProphet - I know the time lines involved, I was just stating what I knew had happened. She may or may not have known on the Saturday night, I've no idea.

@ShatnersWig - what I would or would not be happy with occurring in my relationship is irrelevant.

@crivit Ok then, what do you think she should have done on discovering her partner of five years had a lengthy snog with a married woman on her birthday?

Speaking as the mother of a woman who was in an abusive controlling relationship, the more people who speak out about it the better.

I bloody hate the narrative that - and let’s face it, it’s usually for a woman - the only way to be dignified is to say nothing.

I applaud Rebecca for making a stand and having her say how she wanted it. Why on Earth should she keep quiet?!

She doesn’t owe him any silence, his actions humiliated her - fuck him

"I took the cat" :)

You only have to look at him to see what a prick he is.

Unfunny, cocky and clearly loves himself. The fact that he went out on the piss with his married dance partner, leaving his partner of five years at home on her own on her BIRTHDAY ffs shows what an arsehole he is

Then snogging Katya's face off, not giving a shit who sees it or the harm it may cause to two completely innocent people - yeah, I don't doubt booze played a part in the fact that they were so blatant, but but there is also a real arrogance there, that he thought his pathetic public apology would somehow get him off the hook and they could carry on as normal.

Me personally I hope they boot the pair of them off Strictly as I for one have no interest in seeing them dance again. If they do have the front to carry on I'd put money on it, that the public will put them in the dance off. I honestly can't see anyone voting for them after this.

Oh, crivit that is pompous, overly pious and downright saintly of you!

There is no excuse for what they did. They were, at best, thoughtless, selfish and hurtful to people they are supposed to love, to whom they owe a modicum of care and courtesy.

And that is without having to know anything more than what is shown in the video clip!

"I bloody hate the narrative that - and let’s face it, it’s usually for a woman - the only way to be dignified is to say nothing."
Absolutely. It's been allowing men to get away with abuse since time immemorial.

His response to her is almost exactly what my exH did when I finally caught him out after years of suspicions, I didn't have to deal with him being splashed all over the tabloids at least though, sounds like she'll be much better off without him. I think there's possibly a lot more she didn't mention but I loved her response and glad she took the cat. I can't see the BBC kicking them out over it though, it's not happened with any of the other affairs/rumours, doubt it'll even get mentioned, they only seem to ever hint towards a couple's "closeness" if both dancer and celeb are single even when something going on is blindingly obvious.

Silence is controlling too - I was terrified to tell people what was going on when I was with my ex. He literally hated me talking To anyone about anything - it’s a form of keeping you isolated, and under their control.

@ShatnersWig - How can I (or anyone else) tell her what she should have done based on the information we have?

I bloody hate the narrative that - and let’s face it, it’s usually for a woman - the only way to be dignified is to say nothing

Toooo fucking right! I couldn't agree more. This crap about dignified silence, don't stoop to their level, best revenge is a life well lived etc. is just another method of silencing women during a period of betrayal and emotional turmoil and designed to ensure that, although the man is the perpetrator in all this, they are protected from their actions and the fallout thereof.

This woman - not that I have a clue who she is - has got it so very right in her statement. She has highlighted his gaslighting and their self-serving actions since the photo was published and very much shown herself as a dignified and emotionally intelligent woman.

Regarding her speaking out perhaps also she did it realising once the heat was out of the situation she might cave in and take him back, completely against her better judgement and also in what she believes in. It can't be easy extricating yourself from a five year relationship. At least this way she's drawn a public line so it'll be harder to do a U turn on it. I know I'd think like this - you still love him but realise he's no good for you, you want to burn that bridge and do anything that'll stop you going back rather than waste more time on him.

She would have had more dignity if she had said nothing

Why? Why should someone who's so-called partner humilliates them in public for all the world to see just shut up about it? She hasn't ranted, shown photos of his cut up suits or her cleaning the toilet bowl with his toothbrush.

By making a statement, she has given her side of the story, stopped speculation and made sure no one sees her as some poor little woman who needs the man for some kind of validation.

Your 'have some dignity' is everything that is wrong with cheating and affairs. No, we shouldn't have to stand quietly by when wronged in this way. If you are going to behave badly towards someone you supposedly love, the least you can do is accept that they might have a say in the end of the relationship and how others view things when the affair comes to light.

@crivit So your point in posting was....?

The arguments about this being somehow less dignified than silence are risible.

I hope this boosts her career. He’s fucked his

There is nothing undignified in her responding or in her actual response. It was very measured but to the point. At least this way if the media hound her she can say it's nothing to do with me anymore. If she hadn't have said anything she'd have been hassled by the press. She's also probably done some women a favour - women going through the same thing that might have the courage now to do something about it.

She would have had more dignity if she had said nothing

Rubbish. Women should speak up when men behave badly and not accept the regularly implied responsibility that a badly behaved man is the fault of some woman (usually partner or mother).

If more women spoke up then more women in bad relationships might find the courage to change them or leave them.

@CuriousaboutSamphire - it's not pompous, overly pious and downright saintly of me. It's simply saying that I'm not one for judging entire situations based on snippets of information. The rest of your post may be your interpretation of what you've seen but it wouldn't be shared by everyone. Opinions don't tend to be universally shared, hence disagreements.

@ShatnersWig - really? I would have thought that was obvious from the content of my posts. I'm not on-board with the majority opinion here which seems extremely polarised. As I've said, judging so fully based on the amount of information we have is not something I can do nor would I want to.

The only thing I would criticise about her statement is the "I am not a victim" comment. There's aboslutely nothing wrong with being a victim and to allude in her statement, as she did, that there is does a disservice to victims, which is only at the end of the day a word to describe a person who is at the receiving end of a wrongdoing.

Good on her, I say. I met him a few years ago (friend of a friend) and thought he was an arse then.

The more women in the public eye who draw attention to abusive and gaslighting behaviour, the more chance there is that that ordinary woman who just feels like she's going a bit mad and is always a bit in the wrong might recognise that she's being manipulated.

@crivit A previous poster has already pointed out what information we have. Even if you put aside the comments Rebecca made because they aren't, in your mind, corroborated, the facts are that a man in a long-term relationship had a lengthy snog in public with a married woman. Most people would regard that as cheating and worthy of terminating the relationship. Which Rebecca has done.

So why your beef?