Or is friend a cf

[Penelopeee]

Evening.

I regularly help out other school mums. Have become known as the mum to ask for a favour I suppose. Never really given it too much thought, firm believer that if you can help someone else out in life you should.

For the last 18 months I have looked after my friends daughter who is in my daughters class at school. They are year 3 (7 turning 8). I also have a smaller person who is at home with me all day.

So friends DH drops their DD at mine just before 7am. Usually twice, sometimes 3 times a week as they both work shifts. School starts at 8.50am. School finishes at 3.30 and DD is collected by dad by 5.30pm.

Our daughters are classmates and get along, they do however have their fair share of winding each other up and bitching to each other which all of us parents tend to ignore and stay out of.

Friends DD is turning 8 this weekend and friends have booked her and 5 friends into like an activity centre place. The girl took great delight in telling my DD where parents had booked, who was invited and clarifying that my DD wasn’t invited.

We look after this girl so much. I know the old can’t be invited to everything but my DD makes no fuss about this girl being here, shares all her toys, use of her tablets etc we feed her when she’s here. Shares her mummy’s time etc.

DD is upset. She’s upset she wasn’t invited. She upset that ‘friend’ will continue to get to come to her house so much when in her words “we aren’t good friends obviously”.

AIBU to think that my friend should of maybe done the whole we will be in Inviting XXXX as they do a lot for us???

To be honest I feel really fucking used!! So as not to drip feed, they don’t pay me and have never offered. They’ve never looked after mine. Nor have they offered.

Haven't read the whole thread just the OP's updates. Can't believe the level of cheeky fuckery! This is up there with the Mexican house thief. OP I'm a massive pushover and can see how you got into this situation - it's easy to let things snowball. Glad you're well rid now!

Total CF.

I have a similar “friend” who I used to help out a lot. But after a while you feel a bit used when their kid starts being really nasty to yours and your kindness is never reciprocated or acknowledged. I think every school has at least one parent like this! Quite honestly I think your friend must be either really ungrateful & arrogant after all you do for them or possibly totally thick and not realise how rude it is.

BenjiB ... CF = cheeky fucker ... this cf was a first class one!

It sounds as though she’s missing basic emotions. Manipulative cow. Well done for telling her. There is no anti climax because you’ve risen above it and finally beaten her at her own game.

I wonder if it was her way of ending the arrangement with you?

Such bad manners, sadly this does seem to a ‘type’ of parent that you come into contact with at primary school. The mother is totally taking the piss, and unfortunately her daughter seems to be taking on her parents’
user/shallow behaviour. Stop being a victim, tell the mother you can’t look after her (rude) child any longer, your circumstances have changed. She’ll get the message!

I wonder if it was her way of ending the arrangement with you?

PMSL

CF is here! 😂😂😂😂😂

Well done OP,let’s hope the CF has seen this thread and will learn from it (I doubt it though).Have an awesome weekend with your family!👏🏼

Rarely is there such a massive consensus on this site. This is outrageous!

This is really mean! Even if the child
Didn't want yours there the mum should've invited her! This is really rude of the mum. I'd be upset and furious id tell her I couldn't help any more.

This woman is seriously taking the piss out of your good nature, invite or not you need to knock this on the head, this woman isn’t a friend she’s using bastard! Sorry for the bad language but I hate people like this!

• sorry she’s a using bastard! Lol

Auntyflo- is that you Karen???

Yoooohoooo 👋🏼

Jokes aside. Maybe it was her way of sacking me! I would of been more than happy to of been fired a loooooong time ago.

Auntyflo has to be Karen!

No way would anyone else ever think that you'd end an arrangement that was entirely in your favour by getting your DD to be mean to someone.

Sacked from an unpaid and thankless job? Seriously, if I had a friend doing that much unpaid childcare for me I’d be drowning her in ‘I appreciate you’ cards and presents at every opportunity. Cfs never feel appreciative though.

Well handled OP. That’s the way to do it.
Brace yourself though. CFs don’t usually give up so easily.

So she's happy to leave her daughter at your place when suits her but doesn't invite your daughter to her daughter's party? That's not on. Didn't she give any consideration to your daughters feelings at all? I wouldn't look after her daughter anyone. Tell her to find new child care and don't let people take advantage of your lovely nature. Maybe plan to do something with your daughter on the party day to cheer her up

@ArtNotDishes Oh my days! That's shocking. After all you did for her, thats how she treats you! Awful behaviour.

Maybe plan to do something with your daughter on the party day to cheer her up

Seriously, and this isn't just aimed at the poster of the above quote, on what planet do you think it's appropriate to read post 1 and respond without reading the following 600+ posts, or at least those posted by the OP?

Penelopeee, you have done well to handle it the way you did . With the little ones still in same class a confrontation was best avoided .
It amazes me the Mum didn’t show some tact when the party was being arranged . How on earth did she think your dd wouldn’t go . Well whatever their mindset are / were , you’re as well out. Way too onesided an arrangement ! All the best :)

I'm with all those who have already posted that your 'friend' is a royal CF - she is using you as a free childminding and school run service - I wouldn't be surprised to find that you also provide a drink, snack or meal as well! If you are unhappy with the arrangement and your daughter would prefer family time to time spent with this CF's daughter then just tell her you are not doing it any more. Otherwise, maybe work out how many hours this kid is with you, petrol if a lift is given to and from school, any refreshments given, and tell CF that in future it will cost a minimum of £'X' if the kid continues to come regularly. Bad mannered mum - even if the kid was oblivious to her rudeness the mother should've over-ruled her and extended the invite. It is easy to see why your daughter will feel hurt and rejected, especially when she has been a good friend and shared so nicely. Personally I'd just tell her to fuck off and keep going - but you sound a lot nicer than me! Good luck

Round up

OP told CF this morning the arrangement has ended
CF didn't react
DD skipped home from school
OP and DD have arranged a cinema trip for the weekend

No further news YET

Bearbehind well said! It is so tedious that people think on page 25/26/27 the OP STILL needs advice

Don’t think she’s done any bitching yet as every other parent was exactly the same as always.

I wouldn't worry. She has already been a CF to two other mothers who have ended free childcare with her, so they are likely to know what a CF she is and understand why you ended it after 18 months!