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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be pissed off about not being invited to a cousins wedding

64 replies

SuperMonster · 07/10/2018 21:58

So- we're a close family- I'm 30 and still see all cousins regularly.
In July me and other cousins on this side of family were invited to - we'll call her Jenny- Jenny's hen do next year in Vegas!
They are due to book the hen do in November this year and not getting married until 2020.
Anyway- me and my sister responded we would like to come but will know for definite nearer time as depends ok budget.
Fast forward to last week and she has sent out save the dates - as my parents and aunties and uncles received them.
We have a group chat and one had sent a pic of the save the date and I said 'hey where's mine' - and only said this as I never imagine for one second I wouldn't be invited.
And her response was 'they are only for the day guests'
No explanation, no sorry etc etc.
Have been informed by another relative they are trying to cut costs as getting married in an expensive venue. Fabulous.
Aibu to assume I would have been invited to the day if invited to spend thousands of pounds going to Vegas for her bloody hen do!!??

OP posts:
FunSponges · 07/10/2018 22:00

I wouldn't be going to that hen do. Vegas for a hen do! Ffs, where does it end!

Knittedfairies · 07/10/2018 22:02

So you’re invited to the hen do but not the wedding? Poor form.

BewareOfDragons · 07/10/2018 22:02

Aren't you glad you know now so you don't feel obligated to fork out loads for such a ridiculous hen trip for a wedding you're not an A List guest for?

Send your regrets.

Littlecaf · 07/10/2018 22:06

Ouch. I’d be pissed off but probably wouldn’t say anything, not to rock the boat, but would politely decline the hen do invite.

And then buy the cheapest thing on the gift list.

BrushTheCatEar · 07/10/2018 22:07

Fair enough if they want to cut costs... you can cut your own costs and save a fortune by not going to Vegas!

Itsnotabingthingisit · 07/10/2018 22:07

Vegas for a hen do. How utterly and completely ridiculous.

MissingPanda · 07/10/2018 22:08

I wouldn't be going on the hen do, even if I could afford it.

sue51 · 07/10/2018 22:08

Bad form to expect you to spend a fortune on the hen do but too tight to invite you to the wedding.

Butterymuffin · 07/10/2018 22:10

Rude. Now at least you're off the hook with the stupidly expensive hen do.

SuperMonster · 07/10/2018 22:11

Thank you!!
I definitely won't be going to the hen do!
Just wondering if it was ok to do this now!? I can't believe she invited us to the hen and not the wedding!
I mean I only got married myself last year and would never have done this. (Or a Vegas hen but that's a whole other thread)

OP posts:
Hillarious · 07/10/2018 22:12

I'm sure the aunties will have a great time in Vegas with the hen!

SuperMonster · 07/10/2018 22:13

Honestly I think I'm more annoyed at the complete lack of explanation. Her text was so so rude. Angry
But yes- good job I know now!!

OP posts:
UserName31456789 · 07/10/2018 22:17

No way in hell would I be attending the hen do! At least you hadn't forked out any money for that. Cheeky mare thinking you'd love to spend thousands going to Vegas on her hen but weren't good enough for a proper wedding invite!

If you can't afford to invite all the important people in your life to your wedding have a cheaper wedding! Surely family and close friends being there is more important than a posh venue!

Kay2705 · 07/10/2018 22:18

Rude!!! She invites you to her hen and not the wedding ? I wouldn't go to either now

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2018 22:20

Very crass, glad you are not going to the wedding, good thing you found out now.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2018 22:20

Hen do, not wedding doh.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 07/10/2018 22:22

Just think of the money you're going to save on presents and pointless hen do shenanigans

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2018 22:27

I agree sue51, she wants you to come to her expensive hen do, but not her wedding, and you are meant to be close. That would make me think that bit less of her. If you meant that much to her, she would choose a cheaper venue to accommodate you all. Priorities eh.

Gemini69 · 07/10/2018 22:28

tell her to shove her Vagas Hen doo.... Flowers

ItsThisOneThing · 07/10/2018 22:30

Are any of the other cousins invited? Do you think she's pissed off that you gave her a maybe for her hen? Vegas FFS!!! Sounds awesome but so expensive!

SuperGekkoMuscles · 07/10/2018 22:31

A Vegas hen do but no wedding invitation? I don't think so.

Ghanagirl · 07/10/2018 22:33

Don’t even think of going!!

Iloveacurry · 07/10/2018 22:35

I definitely wouldn’t be going on the hen do! F* that.

SezziBaybee · 07/10/2018 22:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

greendale17 · 07/10/2018 22:38

No, this is not normal whatsoever. You are meant to be close and she isn’t even inviting you to the wedding.

I would be so hurt

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